“I’m not going to hit Trev. It’s your ranch. You gotta do what you think is right.” All the fight had left him the minute he realized Trev wasn’t using Mouse and Mouse wasn’t going to leave Trev just because one dumb-ass man had finally come to his senses. It was like everything in life. Mouse would move on, and Bo would be alone. He would smile and party and be everyone’s “friend,” and no one would know him, not really. Everyone he ever opened up to had left and moved on.
At some point in time, he had to stop blaming the people who left and start blaming himself. Maybe his father had been right. He just wasn’t good enough.
“I don’t like the look in your eyes. And you know this ranch is your home.” Aidan crossed his arms over his chest.
His brother could talk all he liked, but Aidan owned the ranch. There was a reason Aidan hadn’t turned over the foreman’s job to him. He was good with cattle, but Bo was never going to be the boss. The rest of his life played out in his brain. He would stay here in the little house he lived in and grow old, all the while spending his nights with a bunch of people he didn’t love. He would watch as Lexi and Lucas and his brother raised their odd family. They might cause the town to talk, but at least they had each other. Bo might be accepted, but he wouldn’t have a woman smile at him like Lexi did at his brother and Lucas, like Mouse had smiled at Trev. It was just his fate.
He shrugged and tried to give his brother a careless grin. “Whatever, man. It doesn’t matter.”
“Are you just going to lay down?”
Bo hated that tone in his brother’s voice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going to get back to work. I have to pick up a feed order.”
“Stop.” Aidan strode to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Talk to me about this. Don’t put on a brave face. Talk to me. I’m your brother.”
Yeah, Aidan was his brother. Aidan was his perfectly happy, heroic brother. Aidan had honorably served his county and fought back from a bullet to his spine. He’d taught himself to walk again. He’d told society to go to hell and found his happiness. Bo didn’t want to explain to his perfect brother just how thoroughly he’d fucked up. But he knew he wasn’t getting out of this house without a fight unless he gave Aidan something. “There’s nothing to talk about. Mouse found a boyfriend. I might not like him, but she seems happy enough.”
Aidan stared at him. “Bo, you love that girl.”
“Like a sister.”
“Lying isn’t going to help. You love her, and you’re going to lose her if you don’t take action.”
“There’s nothing to do, Aidan. She made her choice.”
“She didn’t know she had a choice,” Aidan insisted. “But that’s beside the point. You know I’ve never thought you would be good for that girl.”
Yeah, Aidan had always insisted Mouse needed someone else. “Well, then you got what you wanted, didn’t you? I would think you would be thrilled.”
Aidan’s fists clenched at his sides. “Damn it, you never understood me. I’ve always thought Beth needed a strong hand.”
Bo was so sick of this shit. “A fucking Dom. You thought she needed a Dom.”
“Yes, and I think I’m right. I think you’ve seen the way she looks today. She’s a whole different person. Trev gave that to her. What if he could give that to you, too?”
It took all he had not to punch a wall. “Goddamn it, Aidan. I’m not gay.”
Aidan sighed. “You don’t have to fuck him. You just have to listen to him. You have to let him make you stronger by being able to rely on him.”
“Trev McNamara is the last person I would rely on.” Not after the way Trev had let him down. Bo had to hope that Trev had learned his lesson and he wouldn’t let down Mouse.
“I don’t know about that. I was a little upset that Julian strong-armed me into hiring him, but he’s been through a lot. He seems to be solid now.”
“Once a fucking addict,” Bo heard himself say.
Aidan nodded. “Yes, he’ll always be an addict, but at least he knows what his problem is. He knows what he can and can’t do. Can you say the same?”
Bo didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. He slammed out of the house just in time to catch Mouse walking back in.
Her face lit up as she saw him. “Bo. Thank god. Lexi isn’t feeling well. Any chance I could get a ride into town?”
Tell your fucking boyfriend to take you. It was right there on the tip of his tongue. He could tell her to go to hell and be done with her.
And never see her again? He wasn’t willing to do that. He might never be willing to break with her.
“Sure.”
He walked her to his truck, his heart in his throat. She might not be his, but he would always take her where she needed to go.
Chapter Ten
Mouse felt sick as she walked out of the bank lobby into the brilliant light of day. After the chilly office, the heat hit her like the blast of a furnace, but it didn’t really sink in. All she could hear was the loan officer telling her she’d been turned down for her loan. The loan she’d been told just last week would be a sure thing. She’d talked to the bank and gotten preapproved. Now she’d been turned down, and all they would tell her was that she lacked enough collateral.
She owned her property outright. The house itself might not be worth much in its current condition, but the land was worth far more than the amount she requested.
The stony-faced loan officer, who Mouse knew just a couple of days before had approved a loan for Janie Harte who just got out of prison and didn’t even own her TV, hadn’t been willing to listen to any arguments.
Tears blurred her eyes. How was she going to fix up the house? She’d counted on that loan. She’d never been so much as late paying a bill, but they’d turned down her loan?
She clutched the paperwork in her hand. She’d brought it all in, everything they had requested, and they hadn’t even bothered to look at it.
She sniffled and looked down the street toward the feed store. Bo was still there. His truck was in the parking lot. She needed to get it together before he came down to pick her up. She shoved the paperwork in her bag and started walking down the street toward Patty’s. She would get a Coke and try to figure out what to do next. She could try another bank. It would take longer than she’d hoped, but she could do it. She didn’t have much of a credit history. She’d never used credit cards, but she had land, and that meant something. She worked as an accountant for many of the businesses in town and had a part-time job as Lexi’s assistant.
She thought about the list now sitting in her purse. She’d planned on ordering all her materials as soon as she had the loan in hand. She’d spent days picking out the right fixtures and lights and paint. She could see it in her head, but it would have to wait.
“Good afternoon, Mouse.” Bryce Hughes stepped out of his BMW. It was parked in front of Patty’s.
Of all the people she didn’t want to see, Bryce was number one. He looked too perfect in his suit and tie. He didn’t look like a man who got turned down for loans.
Mouse nodded and walked on by only to walk straight into another body. Mouse gasped as she came up against a man roughly her own height. He was slight, dressed in an impeccable suit, and his eyes were covered in oversized aviators. He carried a briefcase.
“God, what is the problem with you small-town types? Fuck. That was my foot, you know.” The man had a harsh Jersey accent.
Mouse took a step back. Bryce was right behind her. He chuckled a bit as he helped Mouse steady herself. The man continued to curse, and she suddenly recognized his voice.
“You’re that man from last night. You’re Marty.” This was the man Trev was trying to avoid. “You called on Trev’s phone.”