Chase hugged Kitten. Logan had disappeared and that meant it was his job to console her. He remembered a time when he’d been vaguely attracted to Kitten. She was nice looking and so submissive it hurt. He’d thought briefly about how she would be an easy sub. She would do what he said and never challenge him. He hugged her close, but more because he knew she was Natalie’s friend. He’d been utterly changed in the freaking course of a couple of days. “It’s all right, Kitten.”
“We remember their faces.”
Chase looked up, completely startled. Nat stood in the hallway, her face pale, contrasting to the lovely shade of her hair. Chase took a step back. He knew it was stupid. He was only trying to console a friend, but couldn’t stand the thought of Nat feeling bad.
Nat frowned at him, crossing the space and taking Kitten into her arms. Her right hand came out, silently requesting he complete the circle around Kitten’s body. Kitten sagged against Nat.
“He was going to sell you. I overheard him talking. He’d found a Dom who was willing to pay a lot of money for you.” Kitten’s voice shook. “It’s why I stole the knife. I didn’t want to lose you.”
Chase let his hands go around Kitten, wrapping around her until they found Nat’s waist. His eyes met hers over their mutual friend’s body. He held them for a moment, the revelation that she could have been killed settling in. Her unique essence would have been snuffed out forever. He wouldn’t have known her. He wouldn’t have ever kissed her or spanked her or had a chance at a future with her.
She gave him a tremulous smile. That was his Nat. She’d been told something terrible, and she tried to fucking make him feel better. His hand found her hair.
He was never going to let her go. He was never going to allow a single other human being on the face on the planet to hurt her. Not for a second.
“It’s all right, Kitten. I’m fine. No one can hurt me now.” Nat’s eyes held his.
He made his silent vow. He would find a way to keep her. He would be a better man.
Nat followed Chase up the stairs. The playroom. Up until now she hadn’t been in this room because Ben and Chase had insisted on taking things slowly. The demonstrations she’d witnessed had taken place in Jack Barnes’s bedroom, a huge, gorgeous monstrosity with places for all three of them. They had made it work, Jack and Abby and Sam. They were happy. And Sam and Abby had happily had their asses spanked. Watching them get tied up had been hard though.
And now she was going to the playroom because it was time to move on.
She’d known it existed, but she’d carefully avoided it every time she’d been here. Jack Barnes had offered to show it to her a long time ago. Nat wasn’t dumb. She’d known what Jack was trying to do. He’d been like Cal and all the other Doms, attempting to gently herd her back into the lifestyle because they thought she needed it.
She thought about her visit with Janine. Her therapist wasn’t particularly happy about the whole “going undercover” thing, but she’d told Nat that she was thrilled with her stubbornness and courage. Two days of talking about trust and the need to move on and Nat was giving it a try.
Her heart was thumping in her chest, getting faster with every stair she climbed. What the hell was she doing? She couldn’t go undercover. It was stupid. Someone hated her and she was going to catch a killer? She had a degree in art. She was a massage therapist. What the hell did she know about investigating anything? She could barely do a Google search.
But she knew D/s. And this person was obviously connected to an underground club.
“Are you all right?” Chase turned at the top of the stairs, his hand on that bag Logan and the girls had come here to bring him. His D/s bag. Full of toys he wanted to use on her. How would she handle that? He probably had rope. He would want to tie her up. She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t. Her feet moved of their own volition, finding the step beneath her, taking her further away.
“Natalie.” Chase sounded a little weary, emotion heavy in his voice. He sounded like Ben. If she hadn’t known damn well who was with her, she would have sworn it was Ben. But it was Chase who sounded so deeply sad. Even those normally narrowed eyes were round, the pain evident. “Go find your room, sweetness. I’ll talk to Ben. We’ll work this out. You don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of you. Ben and I will make this thing go away.”
And then they would head back to Dallas because they needed a submissive. She’d been thinking about it for days. If Hawk hadn’t been a righteous prick criminal massive douchebag, she would still be bottoming happily. She would have waited. She was picky, never taking a collar because it wasn’t right.
Chase was right. Ben was right. She was the one who was wrong but only because some arrogant asshole had fucked up her life, and if she never ever took it back, then he got to win.
Tears blurred her eyes. Chase’s whole body sagged. She would bet her life that he’d never let a sub manipulate him, but he softened every time he was around her. “Cotton Candy, you’re killing me. Just go back to your room. You don’t have to do a thing. We won’t touch you.”
He meant they wouldn’t spank her or tie her up or make her come. And they wouldn’t really touch her at all because both he and Ben needed a D/s connection. It was who they were. It was who she’d been so long ago. It was who she’d been born. Deep inside she’d been submissive sexually, needing what came from giving up power when it came to sex. Before she’d been abused, she’d been able to accept herself without a single condition. She’d simply been Natalie.
Who the hell was she now? Was she a woman who allowed two beautiful men to walk away because she wasn’t brave enough to try?
She sniffled. She hated the fact that she was so close to tears. “I’m scared, Sir.”
Nat used the polite name because she wanted him to understand she was invested in this endeavor.
He closed the distance between them, his hand touching her hair. “I don’t want you to be scared of me. I can’t fucking stand the thought. I would rather walk away and just let Ben have you than you be scared of me.”
“It isn’t you. It’s the whole thing. I want this part of me back, but I’m terrified that it won’t work. I think I’m broken, Chase.”
He took a long breath as he stared down at her. “I was born broken, sweetness. I was born not whole. I think you might fix me.” His breath hitched just a little, and she could see what this cost him. “Could you please try? For me? For Ben?”
She could have turned him away if he’d ordered her. She could have walked if he’d simply stopped and stared. But asking her? She couldn’t move. He’d asked with emotion in his voice and this was Chase, not Ben. Chase, who never had an emotion, felt for her. Chase, who likely never asked, had been sweet and polite. Chase could change, just a bit. Couldn’t she?
She wanted to. Couldn’t she try? For Chase and Ben? For herself?
“Please be patient with me, Sir.” She let her arms wind around his lean waist. God, she loved how it felt to hug him. Her whole body seemed to hum with the connection. She let her head find his chest. He was wearing a shirt but his heat came through the cotton. She leaned into him, for the first time in forever finding real comfort in another human being. She let a happy sigh take her, listening in to the heavy beat of his heart. She was close to him, so close. This was what she’d really missed.