God, that was her old position. She hadn’t gone into the more extreme position Hawk had insisted on. He would use a cattle prod on her until her arms were torturously straight behind her back. She hadn’t been terribly flexible when she’d been kidnapped, and Hawk had decided the best way to force her arms into his preferred position was to tie them into place and leave them there for twenty-four hours. Sometimes, her arms still ached from the nerve damage.
“God, you’re beautiful.” Ben’s soft voice pulled her out of that dark place. He got to his knees, one placed between her spread thighs, the other nuzzling the outside of her left leg. “I’m going to ask for one small change.”
She couldn’t try it. She couldn’t shove her arms behind her back. She wasn’t even sure they worked that way anymore. She had nerve damage.
Ben took her hands gently in his and flipped them over so the palms were up on her knees. “I just think this is prettier, but if you need them to keep your balance, just tell me, baby. We just need to make sure you do it the same way every time.”
Chase’s hand found her hair. “I think she’s perfect the way she is.”
“Suck-up,” Ben shot back.
Nat let the memory go. She had to stay on task or her men would end up fighting like five-year-olds.
Her men. She’d just thought it. Dangerous. They weren’t hers, but she could play with them for a while.
“I want to play.” It was a revelation. She fucking wanted to play. Years had drifted by and she’d just gone along, stringing the days together, just surviving. She wanted to feel something other than fear and numbness.
Ben’s hand tangled in her hair, and he pulled her head up. Those deep blue eyes were so serious. “I want to play with you. God, Nat, you have no idea how much.”
“I don’t know how much I’m playing, sweetness,” Chase said, staring down at her. “But I’ll give you what you need. Now, if you’re ready, lean forward and put that gorgeous ass in the air. You’re due some discipline, and then I really want to take a look at that body.”
Discipline. Presentation. Two words sure to get her anxiety up, but they hadn’t steered her wrong. Retraining. What Hawk had taken away, the Dawsons might be able to give back. She wouldn’t know until she’d tried. She’d needed the support of Chase’s body under hers that first night in the dungeon, but Ben helped her lean forward and get to her hands and knees. She was deeply aware of her vulnerability. She was alone in a house with two Doms. She was naked. They could do what they wanted with her.
A little shiver went across her spine. It wasn’t an entirely horrible thought when she knew damn well they wouldn’t really hurt her.
She shivered a little as she felt a big hand caress her ass.
“It’s a count of twenty, sweetness. I want to hear you.” Chase’s hand smacked her ass.
Fire lashed across her. Well, she’d wanted to feel something. She wasn’t numb now. “One.”
“Damn it,” Ben cursed. “Do you have to be so hard?”
She’d never liked it soft. She’d always enjoyed some rough play. “Do it again.”
“She likes it. There’s a smart-ass masochist in there buried under all that fear. I mean to find her.” Smack. Smack. Smack. “Count, please.”
“Two, three, four. Damn, Dawson. You hit like a girl.” He was holding back, and she didn’t like it. She’d liked where he’d taken her that first night. He’d pushed her. He’d treated her like a real sub, not a girl made of glass.
“And you push me like a fucking brat.” Smack. Smack. Smack. “Count.”
Every nerve in her ass was screaming, but damn, at least she felt. Tears pricked her eyes. “Five. Six. Seven.”
Smack. “I…” Smack. “Will…” Smack. “Not…” Smack. “Be…” Smack. “Manipulated.”
“Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.” Every slap to her ass was exactly the same pressure, the same pain as the ones before. He wouldn’t hurt her. No matter how hard she pushed him. Tears coursed down. God, they felt so good. It wasn’t close to enough, but it felt good. “Please, Sir. Just a little more.”
“Now that I will respond to.” Smack. This one shook her. Smack. Smack. Smack.
That was what she needed. Pain flared, purifying her emotions and bringing everything she felt down to its base. Pain. Pleasure. A glorious mix of both. “Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.”
She cursed under her breath. Counting was a way of keeping her in the moment, and she didn’t really want to be in the moment. She wanted subspace. She wanted to float, but Chase was keeping her here.
Smack. Smack. He never hit her in the same place twice. His hand flew across her ass and thighs. Smack. “Count for me, sweetness.”
Bastard wouldn’t let her drift. It was right there. She could still get there. The whole time she’d been held captive she’d never found it. No subspace. No escape. She’d had to be strong. She’d had to keep herself in the moment even when the moment was horrible. She’d clung to the agony. Pain had so oftentimes been the friend to her pleasure, refining it and pushing her over the edge. She didn’t call what Hawk had given her pain. Agony. Never-ending dark. Yes, that was what she’d been in. This was sparks of light. “Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Damn it, Chase.”
Smack. He didn’t hold back with the last one. This one echoed along her spine. This one threatened to pull her back to a time when spanking was a source of pleasure and play and she would wiggle her willing ass at a fun-loving Dom. Nat gasped, her skin soaking up the heat of Chase Dawson’s hand. This wasn’t just fun. This was serious, but it was so much closer to her former life.
“Twenty.”
Her whole body sagged. Chase had kept her there with him, forcing her to be in the moment, and now she was still here. She could still feel the kiss he laid on her cheeks, his mouth caressing her everywhere he’d just slapped. His low moan skimmed along her flesh.
“Punishment, Natalie. Chase gave you his. Now you’ll take mine. On your knees. I need attention.” He was opening his pants, pushing them down. “Sweetheart, if this feels wrong to you, let me know.”
Sucking him off? Nope. That felt perfectly fine to her. His big cock sprang free, and suddenly Chase was beside him, his cock bobbing out of his pants. So much hot masculinity and it was all waiting for her. Three days they’d made her wait. They’d nearly killed her with the polite talking and hand-holding. She was ready for a little nasty stuff.
She let all the worries go and concentrated on the hard cocks in front of her. Pleasure. She could bring them pleasure. If this was the Dawson brothers’ version of rough justice, she could handle it.
She leaned forward and swiped at Ben’s dick with her tongue, satisfied with the groan that came from his mouth. He pressed his cock forward, diving deep.
“More, Natalie. I want to feel that fucking tongue ring.” Ben’s hands went to her hair, but he was gentle as he pulled her forward. She let her tongue whirl around the cock in her mouth.
“My turn.” Chase pulled her off Ben and offered his cock.
She would have trouble with them if she didn’t watch it. She sucked Chase deep, long passes of her mouth over his dick.
“Oh fuck, sweetness. This is exactly what I needed. Thank god for your bratty mouth,” Chase groaned.
They both tasted so good. She settled in, moving from one brother to the other, reveling in how hot they got, how hard their cocks were. They wanted her. It made it easy to forget everything else. Nothing mattered except these men. The world could drift away.