— You’re his mates, the pig shrugs, — maybe he’ll tell you himself, in his own time.
Renton seems a trifle chagrined by this. He shuffles uncomfortably, then focuses on the polisman. — But what did ye say tae get him tae come back inside?
The cop smiles earnestly. — I just told him that no matter how bad it all seemed right now, it’s just part and parcel of being young. That it gets easier. That he has to remember this and not throw it all away. That life is a gift.
My life with Lucinda. Wrecked. My big chance. Blown. All thanks to Nicksy!
Renton appears tae consider this for a bit. He’s daein the junky pose wi his airms wrapped around himself even though it isnae cauld. Skaggy fucker will draw mair polis heat than Nicksy, rattling away like that in public, and in front ay a copper. — Does it? Get easier, I mean, he asks urgently.
The cop shakes his heid. — Does it fuck; it gets bleedin worse. All that happens is that the expectations you have of life fall. You just get used to all the shit.
Renton looks as perturbed as ah feel, and we gaze at each other and realise that the cop isnae fucking joking. Ah think about poor Spud. Renton looks starkly at Bacon boy. — What if ye don’t get used to it, what if ye can’t get used to it?
The copper looks back up tae the flats, shrugs his shoulders and curls his bottom lip doon. — Well, that window’s still gonna be there.
Wound Botulism
TAM SORTAY AMBLES intae the ward, sees us n comes right ower. He’s goat a worried look oan his coupon, but ah want tae shout, ah kin breathe, man, ah kin pure breathe! How barry is that?! Aye, ah want tae tell um they sais thit ah’m gaunny be awright, but ah cannae say nowt, likesay, cannae answer him back wi this tube in my throat. Aw ah kin dae is breathe. N Tam’s goat the picture, squeezin ma hand. So he starts gabbin, tellin us he’s been away fir a week, up north, likesay hillwalkin wi that Lizzie, n he came as soon as he could. Ah’m sortay thinkin, ah’d certainly be comin quick wi her n aw, even though ah ken that’s no what he means n it’s good ay him tae git here. Now he’s lookin at us aw sad n gaun, — Aw, Danny, ya daft cunt. What are we gaunny dae wi ye?
Ah’m pointin tae the tube, but then the duty nurse, Angie, comes in. Tommy asks her the Hampden Roar.
Ah kin hear Angie giein him the details, like she’s hud tae dae wi everybody thit’s come in tae see us. — He staggered into the A&E with double vision, slurred speech, drooping eyelids, and eye-muscle weakness.
Tommy’s noddin, then lookin at us as if tae say aye? And what’s new, exactly?
— The diagnosis has turned out to be wound botulism, Angie tells um.
— What’s that?
Angie shakes her heid. Brand new, Angie, even if she is a Jambo fae Sighthill! Or mibbe a Jambette if that’s what ye call lassie Jambos. But naw, that might be sexist. — Something very nasty, she tells Tommy. — But thankfully the doctors made a quick diagnosis, so we were able to offer appropriate treatment, including putting Danny on this ventilator and giving him botulinum antitoxin. We’re expecting him to make a full recovery.
— Was it ska … heroin that did this? Tommy’s askin the same question that my ma did the other week when ah wis wakin up. They aw jist talk aroond us n it pure gits oan ma nerves; jist cause ah’ve goat this tube doon ma throat disnae mean that ah cannae hear, likesay. Ken?
Angie doesnae answer him direct, but, she jist pits oan a cross but kind face, like the best teachers at the school used tae dae, n says, — He’s been a right daftie, haven’t ye, Danny?
Thaire’s no a loat ah could say tae that, even if ah didnae huv a tube in my throat, likesay.
— You dae what they say, n shape up when ye git ootside, Tommy says, his piercin broon eyes lookin right intae us, n he squeezes ma hand again.
Ah try tae say ‘sound’ but ah kin feel ma throat muscles contrictin aroond this sortay unyieldin pipe n ah convulse a bit, so ah jist squash his hand back n nod. So Tommy starts bletherin away aboot what he’s been up tae, ken in the Highlands n that? Ah dinnae want tae pish on the pageant ay a man in love wi a barry-lookin bird, but it’s pure ‘me n Lizzie this’ n ‘me n Lizzie that’. Ah suppose it’s his life, but the thing is, other cats’ rooftop trysts are right borin, especially if you’re no gittin any Ian McLagan in yirsel, likesay. Eventually he gies ma hand a real bonecrusher ay a squeeze n says, — See ye behind the goals.
Then he’s away, but that Paki doaktir boy, Mr Nehru, comes in, the yin that saved us by aw accounts, n he’s goat this lassie wi um. She’s in a sortay suit n glesses, but she disnae look like a social worker. She’s goat barry shiny black hair, sortay collar-length.
— Danny … Danny boy … we’re going to have you off this thing tomorrow! That is good, yes! Mr Nehru goes.
Ah gie the cat the thumbs up, cause this gadge is totally cool n pure saved ma life, man. Ah dig the sing-song voice he hus, n the wey his heid moves side tae side when he talks. Aye, man, when a gadgie is that enthused, it sortay gits us aw carried away masel, likesay. Ken? That’s what ah need, man, a motivator by ma side each n every day. Tae coach us n encourage us, likesay. Somebody tae tell us ah’m awright, n ah done good. Somebody like Mr Nehru.
Mr Nehru turns tae this lassie, she’s goat they really cool rid-framed glesses wi a slight tint, and she’s really thin, likesay daddy-long-legs thin, and he says tae her, — Danny had contracted wound botulism. It’s a potentially fatal illness that occurs when spores of the bacterium Clostridium botulinum contaminate a wound then germinate, and produce botulinum nerve toxin. He’s a very lucky chap, aren’t you, Danny boy?! He sings tae me n ah wink back. He tells the thin, specky bird that they’re seeing a higher incidence ay wound botulism, n it’s aw aboot injectin heroin intae skin or muscle.
— Why should this be? the bird asks, in a posh voice.
— The reasons for the increase remain unclear, but may involve contamination of specific batches of heroin as well as changes in injection practices.
— Very disturbing … Can I talk to him?
— Sure! He can hear you fine. I’ll leave you two alone to get acquainted.
The lassie gies Mr Nehru a strained smile, but when she sits doon next tae us, her eyes light up n it’s like she’s really excited. Ah’m pure thinking, ‘what’s gaun oan here?’, but ah cannae say nowt!
— Danny … I understand you’ve had a terrible time, with your illness and your heroin-dependency issues. But I’m here to help you, to help you put it all behind you.
Ah cannae say nowt, but the sun’s up behind the lassie n throwin a big glow ower her, framin her in this luxurious blindin light, n mibbe it’s like they prayers huv been answered, man, cause she’s likesay goat this Virgin Mary-style purity, ken?
— I want to help you, to work with you in this new, innovative unit that we’ve set up. There will be other people like you, in this state-of-the-art facility, and we’ll be working with a guy called Tom Curzon, who is one of the best in the business. He’s probably the UK-wide expert on client-centred drug rehabilitation. Will you work with us, and let us help you to get better?
Ah’m noddin and sayin aye aye aye in ma heid, n ah gie her the thumbs up.
— That’s really, really terrific news, she smiles. — As soon as you feel stronger, I’m going to arrange to get you transferred out of here, and into the rehab project, she says, and the lassie seems really enthusiastic aboot it. — I’m Amelia McKerchar, and I’m here to help you, Danny, n she shakes ma sweaty hand.
N ah feel like ah’ve been pure saved, man, saved by an angel ay mercy! The only wey is up for me now!