But not without parallel. Someone else is exhibiting very similar symptoms, although the two of them being at opposite ends of the academic register, nobody seems to have noticed. Carl’s catatonia, of course, is merely the latest phase in a long process of disconnection; unlike Ruprecht’s, furthermore, it is shot through with a constant stream of tics and twitches – darting eyes, glances over his shoulder, jumping at shadows. But in their walk, the two are identicaclass="underline" they drag their heavy bodies through the corridors like wax effigies, not to say dead men.
For all that, some shade of normality seems to have been restored in the school. Classes resume, tests are given, games played; the story fades from the news, and Skippy from the forefront of memory, to be visited only in obscure asides of conversation as a fatal example of getting it wrong: ‘It’s like Tupac said, G – money before bitches.’ ‘Word up.’
‘Life goes on, Howard,’ the Automator says. ‘We all carry a piece of Juster with us in our hearts, and we always will. But you have to keep moving forward. That’s what life’s all about. And that’s what these boys are doing. I have to say I’m proud of them.’ He turns to the younger man. ‘I’m proud of you too, Howard. You made a tough decision there. Took real maturity and strength of character. But I knew you had it in you.’
The night before, Howard signed the contract. He is not quite sure why – a definitive act of self-sabotage? A final, comprehensive extinguishing of his hopes? He doesn’t care to investigate too closely. Instead, he makes the rounds of his new life, taking a perverse pleasure in the guilt that aches in his jaw like a rotten tooth from one end of the day to the next. Sitting in the staffroom, he envies the other teachers their inane small talk, their old jokes, their gripes and whinges, as a world that is lost to him. He envies Father Green too, and as he leaves on his missions, Howard sometimes has urges to hop into the car with him, to Help Out, do something good. But in their wordless encounters on the corridor the priest’s contempt is all-conquering.
As for Tom Roche, Howard can barely turn round these days without bumping into him. It has been decided that he should be moved elsewhere, away from Ireland, just to be on the safe side; but while the Board seeks out a suitable position, he will continue to take classes and to coach the swimming team as though nothing had happened. And he does so, quite convincingly; and that too, Howard thinks, must take maturity and strength of character.
Lori is coping with Personal Tragedy. At school she doesn’t make a big thing out of it – instead she acts like the same old Lori, she smiles and laughs just like always and it’s only if you’re really paying attention that you’ll notice she’s a tiny bit quieter, a tiny bit paler, and sometimes she’ll look away, out the window, and a sort of sadness will cross her face? But Mom and Dad are really worried about her. They keep leaving little presents in her bedroom for when she gets home, and then on Saturday Mom said they were going on a Girlie Day Out – just the three of them, Mom, Lori and the credit card! They got their hair done and had facials and went to Brown Thomas and bought shoes, it was so much fun! But then when they were in the café Lori’s mom put her hand on Lori’s and said, Oh honey, and Lori saw tears coming down from behind her sunglasses and she started crying too and the two of them hugged and cried, all the other women in the café must have thought they were crazy!
He was a very sweet boy but he had problems, Mom said when they had finished crying. Your dad was talking to the Seabrook Principal, who is a very good friend of his, and he said unfortunately this was a boy with a lot of problems. There are people like that in the world and what you have to accept is that you can only help them up to a point, and after that there’s nothing more you can do. And – Mom started to sniff again – baby, I know it seems impossible now, but some day your heart will heal and you’ll be able to love someone new?
And for a second Lori felt a warm mochaccino glow rising up from her stomach but then Mom said that Dad wanted her to see a child psychologist and the feeling turned sickly cold. A child psychologist poking around in her brain, wanting to find everything out? Telling Mom and Dad what really happened? For a second Lori thought she was going to puke right there on the table, but then Mom said, But I told him I didn’t think it was necessary because you’ve been coping very well on your own, all things considered. You’ve been so brave, she said, I’m so proud of you, and then she started talking about the woman from the modelling agency who called up after seeing the pictures of Lori in the paper and wanted her to come in. We should really get you a new outfit, Mom said, and also maybe go to the dentist and have your teeth whitened, you only get one chance with these people.
Mostly the teachers and nuns and girls in her year have been really nice to her, but of course, like BETHani says, wherever there is someone who is getting attention or enjoying success you will find haters and people who try to bring them down with negativity, e.g. like yesterday when she overheard Mirabelle Zaoum saying, Oh God, all it takes to be a big star in this school is for some loser to write your name on a floor. Janine says, You can’t let them get to you, Lori, and she made Lori a card that read, Never frown even when ur sad, coz u never know whose falling in love with ur smile! And it’s true! So as she goes through the school doors into the buzzing swarming nest of blue-uniformed girls it’s with a big smile for everyone,
Janine’s the only person she reveals her true feelings to. If you don’t know her Janine can seem like a bitch, but underneath it all she has the giantest heart. She wanted so much to help Carl and Lori get back together, it wasn’t her fault the Plan didn’t work out, and ever since what happened she has been the best best friend anyone could ever ask for. Lori would be so happy if Janine could find someone to love – underneath her tough exterior that’s all she really wants! And she looks amazing these days, like she’s totally lost that little you wouldn’t call it a spare tyre but anyhow it’s mostly totally gone? Still, Lori’s glad to have her to herself until everything gets back to normal.
Today at lunchtime they go up to the mall. Denise and Janine are talking about KellyAnn, she is totally wrecking everybody’s head talking about her stupid baby, you’d think she’d be embarrassed about it but instead she can’t shut up and she keeps putting on this wise old woman voice like speaking in this slllooooooowwwwww soooooffffffft way, like she knows something you don’t just because she got drunk and let that gimp Titch Fitzpatrick get her up the duff.
I wouldn’t mind so much except she keeps trying to give me like relationship advice? Denise says.
Me too, Janine says, I’m like, KellyAnn, you’ve totally ruined your life, the day I need advice from you just put a bag over my head and shoot me.
What do you think will happen when Sister Benedict finds out? Do you think she’ll be expelled?
I don’t know, Janine says, but if KellyAnn had any cop at all she’d be saving her money for a little holiday.
Lori is shocked. You mean go for an abortion?
There’s no way she’ll get an abortion, Denise says.
What else is she going to do with it?
Well, maybe Titch will help her take care of it?
Janine laughs. Have you ever met Titch’s mother? She’s like Godzilla in drag. There’s no way she’s going to let her precious Tom-Tom’s life go down the tubes just because some slutty Brigid’s girl couldn’t keep her knickers on.