‘Well, okay, he’s a very good swimmer? And he’s – he’s nearly finished Hopeland?’
‘Actually,’ Titch remembers, ‘I did see her with Carl a couple of times last week.’
Instantly, as if it’s been sucked into some awful vacuum, all conversation ceases.
‘I saw them together in the mall,’ Titch says obliviously, ‘and once outside Texaco. I don’t know if they’re going out. I can ask around if you want.’
‘Good idea, you ask Carl, and if he comes over and smashes Skippy’s face in, we’ll know she’s spoken for.’ Just then, as though sensing the eyes on her, the fat girl in the unfortunate dress turns and squints in their direction; next thing they know, Titch has bolted into the crowd.
‘Sorry, dude,’ Niall commiserates. Skippy is gazing at the floor as if counting the fragments of his shattered life.
‘I think you should go and talk to her anyway,’ counsels Ruprecht.
‘You fat moron, didn’t you hear what he said?’ Dennis rebuts. ‘He said he’d seen her with Carl. Carl is the key word there. It means get the hell out of the way, or start digging your own grave.’
‘He only said he’d seen her with Carl,’ Ruprecht corrects him. ‘There could be any number of explanations for that.’
‘Oh sure, maybe they’re in stamp club together.’
‘Let’s just stop talking about it,’ Skippy says desolately.
‘But Carl,’ Ruprecht says. ‘Why would anybody want to go out with Carl?’
‘Because that’s what girls do, you idiot,’ Dennis returns. ‘The more of an asshole a guy is, the more girls he’s got lining up to give him blowjobs. That is a scientific fact.’
‘You can’t just say something is a scientific fact,’ Ruprecht rejoins.
‘I just did, fatass. And what do you know about it anyway? Who the hell ever gave you a blowjob?’
‘Your mother,’ Geoff prompts sotto voce.
‘Your mother,’ Ruprecht says to Dennis.
‘Stepmother,’ Dennis corrects sulkily.
‘Ruprecht has a point though,’ Niall says. ‘Like, is Carl even here?’
‘Can we just stop talking about it?’ Skippy remonstrates.
‘No, but, if they were together, he’d be here, wouldn’t he?’
‘It seems to me that the only way of establishing the truth is for Skippy to go and talk to this girl,’ Ruprecht repeats.
‘Would you all just fucking shut up?’ Skippy interjects. ‘Just fucking shut up about it, why can’t you.’
Surprised, they fall silent, and remain so a moment. Then Mario, with some remark about beavers, turns and plunges quixotically into the dancefloor; Dennis and Niall follow after him, already chuckling. Ruprecht pats Skippy on the shoulder, and directs another surreptitious glance at his watch. Skippy looks over at Lori. The other two girls are both speaking to her; she nods without seeming to be listening, thumb jabbing frenetically at her phone. He wishes he’d never told anyone about her, never found out anything about her, that he could have gone on just watching her through the telescope. Now, just like Dennis said, even though she’s right here, she’s on the other side of the world. ‘Don’t give up yet, Skippy,’ Geoff’s voice sounds in his ear. ‘Strange things happen at Hallowe’en…’ And at that very moment, in the middle of the twin lead-guitar break in ‘Hotel California’, one of Wallace Willis’s all-time favourite solos, the music cuts out and the lights too, and in the interregnum of darkness there is a fierce peal of thunder, like some huge, amorphous black animal snarling right over their heads. Everybody cheers. Skippy’s hand tightens on his sword.
Lightning flashes outside his window. In his imagination Carl hears cheers and laughing. His (Morgan’s) phone says 19:49, which means 7:49. He is late. Liarliar has been texting him all night.
RU GOIN TO HP?U SHD ITL B FN
and
WE R GON DRNKN B4 BHND CHRCH U CMN
The lightning goes again, now he imagines the Sports Hall on fire, everybody inside screaming and burning.
He was ready to go, at 19:20 he put on his coat and took the pills from behind the stereo. In the lonely church parking lot he would make her beg for them. All her friends are gone, tears are rolling down her cheeks. Sorry, the price has gone up. She has no choice. She turns over, her belt clinks open, she pulls down her jeans, he fucks her right there on the rainy steps, while God peeps out through the stained-glass window at him.
But then at the door of his room he stopped, and he is still stopped. On the TV at the end of his bed a faggot sings a faggot song to a table of faggots.
Downstairs through the rain Carl’s mom is on the phone.
‘I just don’t understand why a sixty-eight-thousand-euro car keeps breaking down! That’s what I don’t understand! I mean, isn’t it odd that it’s breaking down all the time, this wonderful sixty-eight-thousand-euro car?’
She has been on the phone for half an hour, saying the same things over and over. Or sometimes she will just cry, or scream something but cry at the same time so you can’t understand what she’s saying.
‘Well, you get the train back, so, you get the train back, and they, I imagine they will be able to deliver it back to Dublin for you, I imagine that must be part of the service they prov– well, why wouldn’t they? It’s a perfectly reasonable – well, what about the expense of staying there? What about the expense of staying in a hotel?’
AT HOP NW OMG WE R SO SHTFCD WER R U
‘Because it would be nice – because it would be! Because that is where your place is, in your home, with your wife and child! Look – no, don’t give me the name of the – what am I supposed to do with the name of the ho– what’s the point if you never answer your – David!’
He listens to her voice turning into a kind of shrieky growl, sort of like the pig on that Muppet show.
‘No, well, why don’t you stay there, in that case! Why don’t you stay in your hotel, with your tennis coach, or your dental hygienist, or your – no, you’re irrational! You’re irrational, not to understand what you have here, which is love! So why don’t you – no – no, David, it’s too late for that – no, it’s too late, so don’t bother because – no it is not, because you forfeited that right when you put a, a dental hygienist before the happiness of your own – well, tell that to my solicitor because – no, I’m locking the doors now –’
THER CLSN DE DORS SOON!!!
The sound of keys jingling and locks turning and the chain rattling and windows slamming then Mom running back to the phone to shout, ‘Do you hear that?’ Then she stamps back into the living room and there is a loud scuffing dragging noise then a thud and she starts bawling like a baby.
On the TV three men are whipping another man with nettles, his back is all fiery red like he’s been burned and he is screaming and laughing in between the screams. Carl turns up the sound, then he turns up the stereo too so the music from the show and the music from the stereo crash into each other and scramble together so there is no room for anything else in his brain. He lies in his bed, a man is hit on the toes with a sledgehammer, everyone is laughing.
RNT U CMNG IN ITS CLSN IN 15 MINS????!!!!!
Fuck you bitch you will have to get your pills somewhere else tonight. Carl is so bored, he takes a thumbtack from the wall and makes a line on his arm then pulls down his sleeve fast because the door has creaked open and Mom is standing there. Her face is invisible in the shadows. He can hear her snuffling even with the TV and the stereo.