He leans in close to my face; so close I can feel the warmth of his breath kissing my lips. “You have a fucking boyfriend?” His jaw steels as he looks me in the eyes. They hold nothing but pure rage. “This whole fucking time you’ve had a boyfriend and you couldn’t have fucking said something.” He slams his hands against the truck before punching it. “I opened up to you. I let you in and told you things I haven’t talked about in years. I don’t like cheaters. It’s one thing that I hate. I know what I do isn’t much better, but at least I’m always honest first. Fuck, Aspen!”
I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. I feel like bursting out in tears right now, but I won’t let it happen. I won’t. “It’s not exactly what you think, Slade. You know nothing about what I’ve been through over the years with that man. You have no right to accuse me of being a shitty person without even listening to what I have to say.”
“What? What do you have to say? That you just needed to get away for a bit and clear your fucking head and then I came along and you decided to just let me fuck you knowing that your boyfriend would never find out. Did you think you could just go back to living your happy fucking life with him? Is that it?”
I feel the anger building up inside as he looks at me accusingly. I didn’t want this. I didn’t ask for this. I will not be judged without him even having proper cause.
I push his chest to try to give us some distance, but he doesn’t move. “Fuck you, Slade. Fuck you!” I push him again, but decide to give up. He isn’t budging. “It was him that didn’t want me. You want to know why I’m here. I’ll tell you why. It’s because he decided he needed to fuck other women for a while. He needed a little space before he could give me his full attention. He expected me to be the good little girlfriend while he was back home fucking who knows what. I was supposed to be here just clearing my head and trying to deal with what I had to do to keep him mine. Then, you fucking came along and I caved into you. I broke my own rules for you. I said I wasn’t going to stoop to his level because I loved him too much, but you just had to come along and make me want you; Mr. Irresistible.”
I give him another shove and this time he lets me push him away enough for me to escape him. I can’t look him in the eye right now. I feel too low; the only thing that makes me this way. “We’ve been together for five years. I was afraid of losing him. I was prepared to do anything I could to prove to him that my love for him was strong enough to handle anything. It killed me to know that I wasn’t enough for him; that he needed other women to satisfy him.”
Clenching his jaw, he punches the truck and leans against it. “So you were just going to let him go around fucking everyone and then come back to you like nothing ever happened?”
“Yeah, well. If you must know, I knew how he was to begin with and I let myself fall for him anyways. He was the kind of guy always out to find the next best fuck; staying out late at night and not coming home sometimes. All the lies. The fucking lies.” I stop to wipe a tear off as it falls down my cheek.
I hate letting people see me breakdown. I hate showing what Jay does to me. “All I wanted was for a chance to make that change. I thought if I did this . . . that . . . that he would finally just be mine; that he would love me with everything in him just as I have loved him all along. I thought that I could be enough for once.”
It’s silent for a few seconds before once again, I am pushed up against his truck with his body blocking me in. He wraps his hands in the back of my hair and pulls my face close to his so our lips are almost touching. “If he doesn’t see that you’re enough, then he isn’t fucking worth it. He’s fucking blind. You deserve better.” He pauses and his eyes lock with mine. “Tell me you’re not going back with him.”
“Yes,” I whisper. “I have to.”
He presses his body against mine and his arms flex as his grip on my hair tightens. “No you don’t. Fuck him. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone better than him . . . better than the both of us, but I’m fucking stingy.”
He runs his hands through my hair and brushes his lips against mine. “Stay here, Aspen.” His breath softly caresses my lips as his breathing picks up. “Don’t leave with him. Let me give you a reason to stay.”
I sigh against his lips, fighting myself. “It’s not that easy. I can’t just throw five years away. We have a lot of history. We live together. He was my first. I can’t just walk away.”
“How do you feel about me,” he growls.
“It was fun, Slade,” I manage to whisper.
Pushing me harder against his truck, he leans into my ear. “That wasn’t the fucking question. Fuck!”
Feeling trapped, I slap him across the face. I don’t know why. I’m just so fucking scared to answer this question; scared of knowing the answer. He always finds a way to push me.
“You like that? Did it fucking feel good?” He presses his erection against me, causing me to moan against his lips. “Harder, dammit.”
Completely lost in the moment, I slap him as hard as I can across the face. It feels good to let my frustration out. Not to mention the fact that his dick flexes from my hit. This man turns me on like no other man can. I’m completely breathless; lost to him.
Without even giving me a second to register his reaction, he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist. “Here is your reason to stay.”
His hand works fast to pull out his erection before he slips my panties to the side and pushes himself deep inside me. He stops for a moment before rocking his hips back and forth and slamming his lips against mine. My legs tighten around him as my whole body shakes from the feel of him filling me; stretching me.
“Let me make you feel this way every day.” He pushes in deeper before slowly pulling it out and lifting my hands above my head. I’m so turned on right now that I could care less if someone catches us. “Does he makes you feel this way? Does he fuck you as good as I do?”
I shake my head, but don’t answer him. I can’t. I can’t speak.
“Say it. I want to hear you fucking say it.” He leans in against my mouth while rolling his hips in and out, giving me pleasure so intense I feel as if I can’t even breathe. I’m overwhelmed by this man; completely stunned. “Say it, babe.”
“No,” I moan out as he lifts me with his hips and starts moving a little faster. Our bodies are so close that there is no space between us. We’re both desperate for this moment; our last. “No one has.” I lean my head over his shoulder and dig my nails into his back as he works his hips on me.
“Then stay,” he whispers. “Give me a chance to change.”
I shake my head, but he presses his lips against mine, claiming my mouth with his. Once again, this man completely owns me. At this moment, I am almost willing to give him everything; not just my body, but my heart.
With one arm wrapped behind my head, he grips my hip with the other while fucking me hard; rolling his hips and slamming hard into me. He can’t handle taking it slow at the moment and to be honest, neither can I.
“Slade,” I moan out, as my body bounces with each thrust of his strong hips. “Fuck . . .” I grip his hair in my hands and scream out as I feel my orgasm building. The consistent thrusts of his hips and the way he pushes me against the truck with each deep shove, has me ready to explode. “I’m about to come . . . oh shit.” I feel myself clamp around his dick and this only causes his movement to pick up.
I can feel the truck start to move from behind me as he puts all of his anger and frustration into fucking me. His grip on my neck tightens before he moans out and I feel his dick throb as he releases himself inside me. Breathing heavily, we both relax into each other with our eyes locked. I can’t turn away from the beauty of this man in front of me; I don’t want to.