“He did,” she recalled. “He gave me the space I needed in order to realize my life sucked without him.”
I laughed at her words.
“At first, Tyler didn’t want to give up without a fight, but he decided to give you the space you needed in order for your heart to heal. He took a humanitarian assignment in Sudan that was only supposed to last a few weeks. As far as I know, he’s still there, helping refugees have a better life, trying to dampen the pain he’s caused you.” She grabbed my hands in hers as I fought to control my emotions. “I know Tyler. He’s a bit of a lost soul. When he hurts someone, he physically feels that pain. He wears it. He carries it as he would his own. He’s probably struggling with his guilt and is taking this time to learn to find meaning in it.”
“I still don’t understand why he hasn’t called or anything.”
“And what would you do if he did? Is this really something that could be settled with a simple phone call?”
I shook my head slightly.
“Mackenzie, darling, his absence from your life right now is giving you space to figure out what you do want. Even though he’s my son and I will always support him, I also know he hurt you. That’s not something which can be easily forgotten. He’s working on forgiving himself right now. When he’s ready, he’ll be back. Just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“When Tyler comes back, and he will come back for you, keep your heart open.” She raised herself from the couch and headed toward the front door.
“But how am I going to believe a word that comes out of his mouth after everything?” I asked, following her.
“Sometimes, Mackenzie,” she began, spinning around and grabbing my hands in hers, “the most meaningful thoughts can’t be communicated with words. Don’t listen to what comes out of his mouth. Listen to his heart. Then you’ll know.” She enveloped me in her arms once more and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. “Here’s my card, dear,” she said, pulling a business card out of her purse. “I expect regular updates on my grandbaby.” She winked. “Do you know the gender yet?”
“I find out Tuesday.”
“Perfect. I’ll await your phone call.”
She turned and opened the door.
“Colleen, you’re not going to tell…?”
“It’s not my place to say anything. This is your decision. However, remember how you felt when Tyler kept his secret from you.”
Mackenzie
“HEY, MACK,” JENNA SAID as I entered the kitchen of the restaurant later that morning. She was busy playing around with some new recipe. Her apron was covered in batter and frosting, and I could only assume the end result would taste amazing.
“Hey, Jenna. Do I even want to know what you’re up to over there?”
She scrunched her nose. “Probably not. But don’t worry. You’ll be the first to taste it when I’m done!”
Shaking my head and trying not to think about what Jenna’s experiments were costing, I made my way through the industrial kitchen, line cooks busy preparing orders for our customers.
The restaurant had been more successful than I could have imagined. Our business plan filled a gap in dining on the island. Instead of simply opening another seafood restaurant because of our proximity to the ocean and fresh fisheries, we strayed from the norm and certainly reaped the benefits. Although the restaurant was packed with a line out the door most nights, we were still in the red, trying to finally make back the substantial amount of money we had put into this place before it opened. After paying the loan, the lease, our staff’s salaries, and other overhead, there wasn’t much left. I desperately wanted to pay off that loan so Jenna and I could finally start making some money off our dream.
I climbed the stairs and unlocked my office, making my way through the somewhat cluttered space to my desk. It wasn’t untidy, but the small area was congested with my desk and loveseat.
I pulled my laptop out and began searching news reports for any more information on the murders of which Charlie was accused. I wanted to believe the story he told me last night, but a nagging voice was reminding me of Charlie’s background and the fact he was trained to get people to believe what he wanted them to. Was he just a pawn in a bigger scheme? Or was he simply saying that to get me to fall into his trap again? The more I learned about Charlie and his past, the more confused I was. I wondered whether I would have this problem had Charlie been honest with me from the beginning. His deceitfulness was always in the back of my mind, reminding me I couldn’t put all my faith in his words.
My thoughts wandered to Colleen’s visit earlier this morning, her words echoing in my mind, beseeching me to give Tyler another chance. How could I possibly forgive a man who had betrayed me? How could I ever trust him when I would always be wondering whether his words were true?
I slammed my laptop closed, groaning. For the past several months, I had been fighting to do everything to forget about Tyler. But a small part of me wanted him to come back, to be near me once more, to promise me everything would be okay…that we would be okay.
I buried my head on my desk, the cool metal of my laptop comforting against my forehead. I was frustrated, uncertain, and confused. I wished I could just write Tyler off. I considered whether I’d be able to do just that had I not gotten pregnant by him. Would I still think about him as much as I did? I knew I would. My pregnancy had nothing to do with it. My heart belonged to him and I needed to get it back. If I didn’t, I’d never truly be able to move on like I needed to.
“Mack? You okay?” Jenna’s soft voice cut through my thoughts and I raised my head to see her standing in the doorway.
“Just thinking.”
“About what?” she asked, walking into my office and sitting down on the loveseat, her face eager.
“Just stuff,” I said, trying to shrug her off. “It’s been a busy morning. And I didn’t really sleep well last night…”
“After seeing that newscast about Charlie?” She lowered her voice.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about any of that. How’s everything going with you?”
She bit her lip, almost considering whether to continue our conversation. Her normally jubilant and carefree attitude faded, replaced with an uneasy aura. I knew I needed to be the same kind of friend to her she had been to me for the past eight years. As much as I wanted to tell her about Colleen’s visit and ask her advice on whether I could ever forgive Tyler, I knew Jenna needed to get something off her chest.
“What is it, Jenna? You can tell me.” I got up from behind my desk and sat beside her on the loveseat.
She studied me for a brief moment before sighing, leaning back. “It’s probably nothing, but I can’t stop thinking that…” She trailed off, avoiding my eyes.
“Thinking what?”
Facing me once more, she appeared so small and insecure. “Do you think Richard’s cheating on me?”
“What?!” I asked in complete surprise. I didn’t know what I expected to be worrying her but it certainly wasn’t that. I had never seen another man look at a woman with the amount of devotion and yearning Richard looked at her. If they couldn’t make it, I would lose hope for any couple having a chance. “What makes you think that?”
“You’ll probably think it’s nothing, but all the small things over the past few months have been adding up, culminating this morning. He left early yesterday, claiming he had an emergency at one of his other hotels on the east coast. He assured me he’d be back late last night. When I got home from girls’ night, he wasn’t there. I was worried something happened to him so I called. It rang a few times and then was sent to voicemail, like he was purposely ignoring my call. I finally got a hold of him this morning and heard a woman’s voice in the background. He said he was in the middle of a meeting and things were worse than he was led to believe, but I don’t know. Why didn’t he just call and tell me?”