I went through the usual routine of getting weighed, giving them a urine sample, and having an ultrasound. Every time I looked at that machine, I didn’t see my baby. I saw overdue bills. I saw sleepless nights. I saw my world falling apart around me. I knew it was only a matter of time until the bottom dropped.
“Do you want to know the gender?” the ultrasound technician asked enthusiastically, cutting through my growing unease. I snapped my head to her and looked into her vibrant brown eyes. “You’re eighteen weeks along, so I can tell you the gender with certainty.”
Tearing my eyes from her warm face to the screen, the sound of the little heartbeat echoing in the room, I nodded. “Yes.”
She smiled at me. “Congratulations, Mama. It’s a boy.”
I sighed, letting out a breath. “Brayden will be happy. He’s been convinced it’s a boy.”
“Is that your husband?” she asked, pressing a few buttons on the machine and producing yet another printout to add to my collection.
Shaking my head, I swallowed hard. “No. He’s just a friend.”
After being assured my baby was developing well and my health was on track, despite their concerns that I hadn’t gained as much weight as they would have liked to see, I grabbed my things and proceeded to the desk.
“How can I help you?” the girl asked when she saw me approach.
“I was wondering if you offer any sort of payment plan for my bills. I know I’m overdue on a bunch of them and I wanted to see if there was a way to pay over time. My name’s Mackenzie Delano.”
Nodding, she turned to her computer, typing feverishly. She stared at the screen and scrunched her eyebrows. My heart sank in my chest, worried the amount was so much, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway.
“You did say Mackenzie Delano, correct?” she asked, turning to me.
“Yes…,” I answered cautiously.
“I’m sorry. I don’t understand. What exactly do you need to work out?”
“My bill. I have an unpaid balance from my last several appointments. It’s at least a few thousand dollars from all the ultrasounds and the testing. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but I can’t pay it all at once. I–”
“You’re not showing any unpaid balance, dear,” the woman said, interrupting me. “It’s showing your bill was just paid on Saturday. There’s a note to send a copy of all future bills to a Colleen Burnham in Massachusetts. She has asked to be listed as the guarantor of any and all medical bills.”
Confused, moved, and relieved, my mouth fell open. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t just a dream. Covering my mouth, I let out a small sob, elated.
“Is that your mother?” the woman asked, a genuine smile on her face.
“No. My baby’s grandmother,” I replied, placing my hand on my stomach.
“Well, your baby is very lucky.” She returned her eyes back to the computer screen. “We have you scheduled to come in for your twenty-two week appointment in the middle of August, so we’ll see you then,” she said, handing me an appointment card.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I nearly had to restrain myself from leaping over the counter and hugging her. I was overjoyed and wanted to share my good fortune with someone else.
“See you next month.”
A grin on my face and a spring in my step, I hopped into my car and made the short drive back home, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Pulling into the parking lot, I was about to swing my car into my assigned spot, only to see it was occupied by an Audi SUV. I cursed under my breath and proceeded toward the back of the lot.
“There she is!” Paul exclaimed as I entered the lobby, irritated.
“Paul, someone else is parked in my spot,” I said, my tone annoyed at the inconvenience. “Can you look into it for me, please?”
A mischievous grin crossed his face, his reaction confusing me. “Someone else isn’t parked there, Mackenzie.”
“Yes, there is. I just tried to park my car and I couldn’t.”
His smile grew wider. “You’re not listening.” He opened the desk drawer and handed me an envelope with my name scrawled on it in elegant handwriting. “That’s not someone else’s car. It’s your car.” He dangled a key fob in front of me.
“Who would give me a car?” The minute the words were out of my mouth, I knew exactly who was responsible. My heart thumping in my chest, I tore open the envelope and pulled out the note.
Mackenzie,
I know you must be so confused about everything right now. Trust me. I know. I’ve been where you are. You feel as if you, alone, got yourself into your position and you can get through it on your own. You think asking for help is a sign of weakness, but it’s not.
My oldest daughter, Carol, was a mistake. She was never supposed to happen, but I am so glad she did. I was young and thought I was invincible. Hell, I was only eighteen. I thought I had my entire life before me. I was the girlfriend of a handsome navy pilot who was about to travel overseas and serve his country in Vietnam. Then I found out I was pregnant and my life changed. We were married almost immediately. Both our parents were rather conservative and didn’t want to listen to any backlash about my ‘condition’, as it was referred to back then.
Thomas was in flight school during this time and missed everything. He never got to come with me to a doctor’s appointment. He never got to hear the heartbeat. He never got to feel our baby kick in my stomach. He didn’t get to hold my hand when I gave birth.
I felt alone the entire time. I watched as all of my friends went away to college and I remained behind, my stomach growing bigger with every passing day. Some days, I woke up wondering if I would ever see Thomas again. I kept convincing myself he wasn’t going to come home to me, that he would disappear into the night and find a new girl, one without a baby. I was so stubborn and desperate to prove to myself and everyone else that I could do this alone, that I didn’t need my parents’ or anyone else’s help.
But the truth is, I did.
I needed them to sit with me at the doctor’s office and tell me everything was going to be okay. I needed them to squeal with joy when they placed their hand on my stomach and felt her kick. And, above anything else, I needed them to stay with me while I pushed all seven pounds, six ounces of human out of me. If I didn’t admit I couldn’t do it alone, I don’t think Carol would have had the wonderful childhood she did.
Don’t look at any of this as you accepting a handout. That’s not what it is. This is simply an old woman with too many zeros in her bank account providing for her family. Regardless of what happens in the future, your baby has my DNA running through him or her, and I will always make sure he or she has every opportunity available. I will do everything to ensure you have everything you need, whether it be a car suitable for a child, the best medical treatment available, or no longer having to stress about repaying your mortgage or the loan on your restaurant. Those are also taken care of, by the way.
Please accept what I can give you and don’t think twice about it. Pay it forward if and when you can.
Most importantly, take care of yourself and that beautiful baby.
With all my love,