“Your love, Mackenzie. I no longer felt it and I hated myself for squandering the most precious gift anyone could give another person… Their love. I didn’t deserve your love then, and I’m not sure I deserve it now, but I promise you…” He grabbed my hand in his, his tone sincere, his eyes fierce. “I will do everything in my power to make you believe in me, in my love for you. This is so real for me, and I will spend every day from now until I’m old and gray proving it to you.”
“Tyler…,” I quivered, struggling to fight back my tears from his impassioned plea. “You broke my heart.”
“I know and–”
“But,” I interrupted, holding my hand up, “over the past few days, you’ve slowly put all the pieces back together. Even after all the heartache and tears, I will still choose you each and every time. It’s not even a choice for me. Our course was charted, even though the path was one of deception and lies. But through those lies, I found my truth. You’re my truth. That’s all I need.” It made no sense that I should be sitting here with him after everything he put me through, especially so soon, but what we had was so much bigger, so much stronger. I felt it from the very beginning. And I still felt it now.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said, breaking the tension between us. “Eli was getting tired of having to spoon with me.”
I laughed just as a server approached our table with two plates, placing them down in front of us. There were three small portions of some sort of meat topped with a gourmet vegetable salsa, a hint of dark gravy drawn in a whimsical pattern on the outskirts of the plate. I had no idea what it was, but it looked delicious. “Roasted duck with leek and fennel salsa, sir.” She retreated, leaving us to enjoy our appetizer.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had duck before,” I commented, picking up my fork and cutting into it.
“Well, I know you like seafood, but I did my research and found out you’re limited to how much and what kind of fish you can have when you’re pregnant.”
I glanced at him, surprised. “You did research?”
“Of course. I have to admit, I have no idea how you appear so calm about this. If I were a few months away from squeezing a bowling ball through a tiny straw, I’d be shitting bricks.”
“That’s not even the worst part.”
“Then, by all means, tell me what could possibly be worse than that!”
“Are you sure you want to know?” I raised my eyebrows.
“Of course. I’m in this with you, Mackenzie. I want to know everything. I missed the first four months and I plan on making up for that, even if it means running to the store in the middle of the night to get you watermelon and pickles.”
“Watermelon and pickles?”
“Don’t you have weird cravings?”
“Sometimes,” I admitted, taking another bite of the duck. It was absolutely decadent, the texture almost melting in my mouth.
“Like what?”
“Hmmm…” I placed my fork on the table, trying to recall some of my weird cravings over the past few weeks. “Okay, here’s one I hate to admit.” He stared at me. “Spray cheese.”
“Really?” He chuckled.
“Yeah. I always thought the stuff was absolutely revolting, but I was going through Brayden’s cabinets one day and found some. I have no idea why he even had any, considering I’m pretty sure possessing that violates some gay code of ethics. But, dammit, that stuff was heaven in an aerosol can.”
“And here I am trying to impress you with duck.”
“Yeah,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m a cheap date.”
“Mackenzie, mi cariño, there is absolutely nothing cheap about you. And that’s why I love being around you, even if you eat spray cheese.”
We shared a look, the longing in his eyes causing my stomach to do somersaults. No man had ever gazed at me with the admiration and yearning Tyler did, and I doubted whether any other man ever would.
“So,” he began, breaking his eyes from me and finishing off his appetizer. “Tell me what the worst part of being pregnant really is, like you were about to before we started talking about watermelon, pickles, and spray cheese.”
“Six weeks,” I said, observing his response.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, after I push this kid out of me, no sex for six weeks at all…like, nothing going on down there.”
His jaw dropped and he was speechless for a moment before he recovered and swallowed hard. “I have a feeling that may just be the longest six weeks of my life.”
“Mine, too.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“DID YOU ENJOY YOUR dinner?” Tyler asked as I devoured the final spoonful of the strawberry cheesecake he had arranged for dessert.
I nodded, rubbing my stomach. “Yup. Baby boy is happy in there.”
“How about Mama? Is she happy?”
“I am. Of all the first dates I’ve been on…”
Tyler scowled playfully in response.
“This is certainly one of the best.”
“One of?”
“Well, I don’t want to say it’s the best just yet. It’s still not over, is it?”
“It certainly isn’t, mi cariño. This is just the beginning.” As if on cue, the band faded out of the song they were playing and, after a brief pause, launched into a tune that would always make me think of my mystery man.
Raising himself from his chair, Tyler held his hand out to me. “Do me the honor of dancing with me?”
“Of course,” I murmured, allowing him to lead me away from our table.
He placed his hand on my lower back, keeping his other one wrapped around mine. His warmth and comfort surrounded me as we sauntered to the melody of “Every Time We Say Goodbye”.
“New memories?” I whispered.
“Better memories.”
“Definitely better.”
I stared into his eyes as he led me across the wooden deck. Just a week ago, this song made me want to scream with rage. Now it sparked a renewed sense of devotion, which was what I saw when I looked into Tyler’s eyes. Reverence. Passion. Love. It was all there, just as it had been all those months ago. Despite the initial reason for him approaching me, it changed for him. At some point, he fell in love. He muttered those three words to me not to get me to share my deepest and darkest secrets with him, but because he couldn’t go another second without sharing his feelings with me. I saw it all there in those brilliant green eyes. I sensed it in the way he held me in his arms as if he would never let go. Most importantly, I felt it in my heart.
The song came to an end, silence engulfing us, but that didn’t matter. We continued to sway to the music in our heads, just as we did that night all those months ago. Our bodies were perfectly in tune to each other, as if our souls were singing a song only we could hear.
“Mackenzie,” Tyler said as the band began to play a classic Frank Sinatra tune.
“Yes?” I pulled away from him and noticed an uneasy expression on his face.
“You said you wanted me to be completely open and honest with you, right?”
I nodded, swallowing hard, nervous.
“I wanted to wait to talk to you about all this, but it’s important that you know. I need to ask a favor of you. I just need you to know that, regardless, nothing will change between us.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked, my voice cautious.
“Yes, I suppose.” He looked out to the darkened ocean illuminated by the moon.
“Then tell me. As long as you’re honest with me, I promise I won’t get upset. That’s all I need from you.”
He returned his eyes to me, smiling a small smile. “Do you think you’re up for a walk on the beach?”
“With you?” I scowled playfully. “Always.”
I slid my shoes off and took Tyler’s hand, allowing him to lead me down the wooden steps of the back deck and onto the white sand of the beach. Apart from a few other couples going for a moonlight stroll, the shoreline was nearly empty.