“Okay,” he said, kissing the top of my head before turning off the stove and dishing out scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast onto two plates. I followed him back to the island and returned to my seat, my stomach rumbling. Triple B was a bit of a parasite. I could eat a feast, only to be starving again ten minutes later. Thankfully Tyler was more than aware of my increased appetite and always cooked extra eggs for me…and the baby.
“So what’s on your plate for today?” he asked as I chewed on a piece of bacon.
“I’m going into the restaurant for a bit, then Jenna’s dragging me into Brownsville.”
“For what?”
“She’s insisting I finally go buy some furniture for the nursery. She’s worried I’m not taking this seriously and the kid will be forced to sleep in one of my dresser drawers when he’s born.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” He glanced at me.
“No, that’s okay. We kind of decided to make a girls’ day out of it. Brayden works in town so we’re supposed to be at his office around noon to grab lunch, then go shopping. I have a feeling he’s more excited about this than I am. You’re still coming to the baby shower tomorrow, right?” I placed my hand on his leg. “It really means a lot that you’ll be there with me.”
“Of course.” He gave me a small smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
He broke his gaze from me and turned his attention back to his food. I glanced at him, hoping he wasn’t upset that I wanted to have a day with my friends. He didn’t seem like he was, but the way he was pushing his eggs all over his plate, barely touching them, made me grow concerned something else was bothering him.
Taking a deep breath, he looked at me. “Have you thought about which room you want to make into the nursery?”
I took a sip of my coffee and considered his question. The truth was, I had been avoiding making a decision. I lived in a three-bedroom condo, but there wasn’t much space. The master bedroom was adequate, the two guest bedrooms being nothing more than a room in which you could fit a bed and not much else. I kept walking by each of them, hoping inspiration would strike, but it never did. I simply couldn’t imagine raising a child here. His clothes alone would take up the entire room.
“A bit, but I haven’t decided yet. There’s not much space.”
“I think I might have a solution to the space problem,” he offered.
“Oh, yeah? What is it?”
He took a deep breath, and I couldn’t help but think that whatever the solution was, I may not like it.
“I want you to move in with me…”
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I had known this day would come, especially now that the baby was almost here, but I guess I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I liked having my space. I liked knowing if things went to shit with Tyler, I still had my home. It gave me control.
Before I could open my mouth to respond, he added, “At my house in Boston.”
“Boston?!” I exclaimed, unsure whether I had heard him correctly.
“Of course, we’ll wait until after the baby is born and you’re both able to travel. You can keep the condo and use it as a vacation rental, but I’d really like for you to think about this, Mackenzie. I want you to be a part of my life and family, and I’d like that with you back in Boston.”
He reached for my hand, but I ripped it from him, storming away from the island. My hands shaking, I scraped all the eggs off my plate and into the trash, my ravenous appetite gone. I tried to ignore the warmth approaching behind me, but I was unable to. I could feel Tyler from miles away.
“Mackenzie,” he said, running his hand up and down my arm in an attempt to placate me. “Don’t get upset about this. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I knew you’d react this way so I kept putting it off. I just want you to consider this as an option.”
“But what about my friends?” I asked, spinning around to face him. “My family? This place has been my home for the past five years! I’ve built a life here! A business! You’re asking me to just walk away from all of that and move somewhere completely new and foreign to me. I don’t know if I can do that!” I threw the dish in the sink and grabbed my purse.
“Mackenzie, just–”
“No!” I whirled around as I approached the front door. Tyler reeled back, his eyes studying me as if my reaction was completely unexpected. “The truth is,” I continued in a low voice, “I’ve seen this coming, but maybe I’m just not ready to do this…” I gestured between our bodies. “Not like I thought I was.”
Not wanting him to see my tears, I stormed out of the condo and jumped into the elevator. I knew my reaction wasn’t entirely reasonable, but the idea of moving to Boston confirmed an aspect of our relationship I had been content to ignore the past several months. Now, it had brought itself to the forefront of my mind.
The elevator doors opened and I dashed through the lobby, ignoring Paul, and toward my SUV.
“Mackenzie, please!” Tyler bellowed as I was about to hop in. “I understand. I get it.” He grabbed my hand, spinning me around to face him. “I know it’s going to sound cheesy, but when I bought my house in Beacon Hill, I always imagined eventually raising a family there. For years, it’s been so empty, so cold. There was no life to those four walls…until you walked inside. Even back then, I imagined how life would be if you lived there with me.” I listened to his plea, trying to put myself in his shoes.
He reached out and brushed a tendril of hair behind my ear, his expression softening. “We can wake up each morning and have coffee together, like we do now. In the summers, we can watch the sunrise from the rooftop deck. We can watch the leaves on the trees change colors in the fall and take in the beautiful scenery. During those snowy nights, we can snuggle in front of the fireplace and watch the city get covered in a coat of white. In the spring, we can soak in the blooming flowers as they bring new life to the city around us.”
“I…”
I stared into his eyes that were begging me to at least consider it. South Padre wasn’t an ideal location to be raising a child, not with all the alcohol and partying that happened here almost year round. Most of the condos in this building were used as vacation rentals. I wanted to live where my son could play with friends when he was a little older, and he certainly couldn’t do that here. But Boston? Away from Jenna and Brayden? Away from my father? I didn’t know if I was ready to take such a big risk.
Worse, it made me come to terms with the fact that Tyler and I came from two separate worlds, despite what I had told myself time and time again. His world was up in Boston, while mine was down here. I didn’t know if we’d ever truly be able to coexist, not when we wanted two different things.
“I can’t do this right now,” I quivered, pulling my hand from his and jumping into my car. He stepped back, allowing me to leave, much to my surprise. I expected him to stop me, to want to push the conversation, but he didn’t. He simply let me leave him standing there, a hurt expression on his face. I didn’t know if I’d ever forgive myself for causing that look, but that still didn’t mean I could give up my life so he could live his.
Tyler
I PULLED MY BRONCO into the driveway of my house, wishing I had pushed Mackenzie to tell me what was really holding her back from agreeing to move to Boston with me. I knew asking her was risky, which was why I had been putting it off for the past month, but I didn’t want to go any longer with our current living arrangement. I wanted to come home to her every night to a house we shared. I wanted to be there to rock our son to sleep. I wanted to read him bedtime stories. I wanted him to be surrounded by a family who loved him.