Joe was wrong.
Beth was not still awake.
But she was not curled up on the couch. She was sitting in front of the computer, her head cradled on her arm on the desk. Eve moved quietly across the room and looked at the computer screen.
A newspaper photo of a skull and Eve herself in her old blue work shirt, her hands caked with clay as she worked on a reconstruction. The skull had been that of little Marty Brodwin, Eve remembered. She didn’t like to give interviews, but the reporter had promised that if Eve cooperated, she’d see that photos of the completed reconstruction would be circulated throughout Ohio, where his body had been found in a shallow grave. It had been worth having her privacy invaded. Marty had been identified within a month after Eve had completed the reconstruction, and his murderer arrested six months later.
She looked down at the pad beside the computer. Web sites. Four of them crossed off, ones that Beth must have accessed before she dropped off to sleep.
But she’d be stiff as a board if she remained huddled in that office chair for much longer.
She reached out and touched Beth’s hair. She received a tiny shock as she felt the soft texture of Beth’s riot of curls against her palm. She remembered that last night before Bonnie had been taken from her, when her daughter had curled up in her lap while they sang together. The softness of Bonnie’s hair against Eve’s cheek had felt the same as Beth’s curls did now beneath Eve’s hand.
“Hey,” she said softly as she gently stroked Beth’s hair. “You can’t sleep here. Go lie down.”
“Eve?” Beth stirred drowsily, then went rigid. She sat bolt upright in her chair and hurriedly pushed her hair back from her face. “I thought I was dreaming.” She grimaced as she glanced at the monitor. “Dreams? What you do is the stuff of nightmares.” She added quickly, “I don’t mean to offend you, I’m sure that it’s all very worthwhile. But I’d never be able to do it.”
“It’s all in the mind-set and getting used to it. My job isn’t as morbid as you might think, and you’ll be surprised at what you’ll find you can do.” She smiled. “My nightmare would be going through what you’ve suffered all these years.” She gestured to the couch. “Now go curl up and get some sleep.” She turned off the computer. “Joe said you’d been up all night with him.”
“I wanted to help.” Beth got to her feet and moved toward the couch. “He told you all about Drogan?”
“Of course.” She waited until Beth lay down before tucking her under the throw. “That’s why I came down.”
“Are you mad because I was looking you up on the Net? Joe thought it would be all right.”
“Why should I be angry? Everything on the Net is out there for all to see.”
“But it’s a violation of your privacy.”
“Beth, I don’t give a damn about my so-called privacy. I’d fight to the death if someone tried to invade my personal space, but if you’re not ashamed of your past, there’s no reason to try to hide it.”
“That’s good. I was afraid you’d resent my being curious.”
Her lips quirked. “But you did it anyway.”
“I decided I didn’t have time to worry about whether you resented it or not.” She yawned. “There’s just no time, Eve…”
Because Beth had lost so much time already. “There’s time for you to sleep.” Eve turned off the desk lamp, and the room was suddenly plunged into darkness. “It’s after five, but you have a few hours before you need to worry about anything else.” She turned to leave. “I’ll wake you by ten.”
“Eve?”
“Yes?”
“Why did you come down to the library? You said Joe told you about Drogan, and that was why you came down to see me.”
“It can wait.”
“No, tell me now. I won’t sleep if you don’t.”
“We’ve decided we have to go after Hans Gelber. I wondered if you’d want to go with us.”
Beth didn’t speak for a moment. “I’m a little afraid.”
“Why? If Pierce is the only one involved, we still have to know what happened. If someone else was behind it, we have find out the details. You won’t be safe until we do.”
“It was Pierce. I know it was Pierce.”
“Then why are you afraid?”
“What if Gelber was brought in because I really did have a trauma? What if I was being treated for some authentic mental disease? What if I still have it? Sometimes, I think I must be crazy.” Her voice was shaking. “I get so scared, then I’m angry. I want to strike out and hurt someone. Maybe I belong in that room on the third floor.”
“Bullshit,” Eve said flatly. “Wanting to knock someone down and trample on them is the most normal response you could have after what you’ve been through. But I don’t like that talk from you. I told Joe that I was going to give you a choice, but I’m not going to do it. You’re going with us to see Gelber, and he’s going tell us everything he knows. I’m going to let you see the weasel try to wriggle out of telling the truth; and then you’ll know it’s one big lie.”
“You truly believe that?”
“Yes, and so would you if you were thinking straight. All this uncertainty is crap. Newell wouldn’t have helped you if he hadn’t been sure that you were a victim. Joe and I wouldn’t waste our time. So it’s up to you to straighten up, stop hiding, and start going after the bad guys. This is your life, and you have a right to live it.”
Beth was silent, then suddenly chuckled. “I’m really not thinking straight, am I? You’re damn right, I’m going to live my life. You want me to go with you to see Gelber? No problem. And if I think he’s lying, I’ll slap him around.”
“Let’s not get carried away.” Eve headed for the door. “You may not need violence. Joe can usually accomplish the same effect just by being Joe.”
“Yes, I’ve never known anyone like him. He’s … larger-than-life.”
“He just twists it to suit himself.” She headed for the door. “I’ll see you at ten.”
“Eve, what’s my…” She stopped. “What’s my mother like?”
She turned to look back at Beth, but she was only a shadow in the darkness. Perhaps that was why she had waited until Eve had turned out the light. “I thought you weren’t interested.”
“I’ve changed my mind. I want to know. Is she like you?”
“No, Sandra is small and pretty and likes everything pretty around her.”
“You call her Sandra?”
“From the time I was a child. She prefers it. It makes her feel younger.”
“And that’s important to her?”
“It’s important, it’s part of how she sees herself. She’s really hard to describe. You should wait and judge yourself when you meet her.”
“You don’t want to talk about her. Don’t you like her?”
“I love her.”
“But do you like her?”
“She’s … difficult for me. We’re at different ends of the spectrum. She’s never been able to understand the way I think. There have been times when we got along very well. She loved my daughter, Bonnie.”
“But you still came out here to find me when she asked you.”
“She loves you. I don’t care what the Averys told you about her. She does love you, Beth. She loved my Bonnie, and she loves you. I couldn’t say no to her.”
“How can you say that she loved me? She gave me up.”
“You can believe me or not. That’s your choice. But if she could have, I think she would have kept you. She was a kid herself, and life was against her.”
“Did she love me as much as she loved you?”
Eve was silent. “Some people don’t have the capacity to … Love is rare for them. Maybe only a few people in a lifetime.”
“You’re saying she didn’t love you.”
“I think she tried. But she didn’t have to try with you, Beth.”
Beth was silent, then burst out, “She should have loved you. Look who you are. You deserve to—”
“Are you defending me, Beth?”
“Yes, why not? You came here to defend me. I don’t want to talk about our mother any longer.”
“Then we won’t, but don’t blame Sandra for something she couldn’t help. Just accept her affection as a gift. When this is all over, I know she’d like to meet you.”