I joined her on the front steps. She was alone, noticeably twitchy. With a sheepish grimace, she handed me her Handspring Visor. Its small color screen was filled with text.
Hi Scott. I’m sorry to invade your life (again). I was wondering if my daughter stopped by here anytime in the last 24 hours.
I glanced back up at her. Without her kid around to sarcastically translate, was I supposed to talk or write back to her? I flipped a mental coin, which landed on “write.”
Wrong. She held my wrist, shook her head, then took back her handheld. She was a Jedi master with the stylus. I couldn’t believe how well she could use that thing. Anyone who’s ever tried a pen-based PDA knows how easy it is to GRTZXL up whatever it is you want to write. Not Jean. She wrote as quickly and accurately as I typed.
It’s ok. I can read lips. Just not on a dark street at 3AM.:)
Her real face didn’t quite match the smiley. She was at the end of her wits.
“I haven’t seen her,” I said, in a slow and loud drawl usually reserved for idiots. “I don’t…Why do you think she would come here?”
Jean let out a hesitant sigh before answering.
Not to embarrass you but I think my kid has a little bit of a crush on you. She thought you were really cool, especially when she found out you were a publicist. She’s into all that media stuff.
“No. Sorry. I don’t know how she would find me. I don’t even know how you found me. My address isn’t on my card.”
I must have looked away while saying it. She touched my cheek and pointed me back in her direction, shrugging. Repeat, please.
“How did you find me?”
Ah. Your business card.
“It doesn’t have my address on it.”
I plugged your phone # into a reverse directory. I learned that trick from Madison. That girl could use the Internet to find her socks.
“That is pretty clever.”
With a cute but uneven smile, she scribbled more onto her handheld.
She’s too clever for her own good. (BTW, you don’t have to talk extra loud or slow around me. As long as you look at me straight on, I can keep up.)
I was mortified. This seemed like such basic stuff. “Uh, has she been missing a long time, or…?”
Since last night. She does this a lot. Usually she runs off to the airport. Don’t ask. That’s where I picked her up from on Thursday, right before I [wince] ran into you.
Before I could answer, Jean cleared the screen and wrote some more.
Have you gotten an estimate yet?
“No. I haven’t had time.”
I’m so sorry. I swear I’ll pay for everything.
“I know. It’s all right.”
She ran her hand through her dark hair. Once again I noticed her beautifully simple wedding ring, which I’d originally thought was silver. In the light of day, it looked more like white gold.
Look, if you see Madison, can you please e-mail me as soon as possible? You still have my card?
“I’m pretty sure I do.”
With a shrug, she gave me another one. Original X Web Design. I’d almost forgotten this was Marvel Girl. She probably spent as much money on comic books as I did.
“Look, good luck with Madison. I hope it all works out.”
She gave me a spirited grin, but the facade quickly collapsed. In the middle of writing her response, her hand got shaky, and she was forced to stop. She bit her lower lip and turned away.
Before I could say anything, she held her other palm up to me. In layman’s sign language, it meant “talk to the hand,” but there was a soft grace to her movement that said so much more. No token gestures, Scott. I didn’t come here fishing for sympathy, and to be honest, it would only make me feel worse. Just bear with me.
Maybe I read too much into it. It was a simple motion. But I remembered being amazed by how much information she and Madison managed to trade with so few gestures. It was fascinating. I was such a nut for research that I wanted to go straight to the Web and give myself a crash course in sign language. Unfortunately I was under the gun with Hunta.
There were over three dozen fine-looking women at that party who would have fucked Jeremy for the price of a smile.
There it was again. My rogue idea, the one I’d been chasing all over the city. With a mere flip of her hand, Jean managed to stop it in its tracks. Don’t ask me how my mind works. I was just glad to see it working again. I’d finally caught up with my muse. And she had a hell of a song for me.
Jean took a deep breath, rolled her eyes at herself, then let out a tired sigh.
So! Got any kids of your own?
Absently, I shook my head.
Smart of you. The keyword is “karma.” All the crap we put our parents through as teenagers…it comes back. Trust me.
I smiled. I liked this woman. And I felt bad for her. But at the same time I desperately wanted to run inside and work out my new equations.
Perceptively, she wrapped it up.
Thanks for being so patient with me. You’re a good man, Scott.
“I…You’re welcome. Good luck finding her. If I see her, I’ll let you know.”
She squeezed my arm and bathed me in a moist look of gratitude usually reserved for living organ donors. It was inflated and mostly unjustified. But I certainly didn’t mind being mistaken as an angel for once. It made a nice counterweight to last night’s snit.
Jean went back to her SUV. As she drove off, she gave me a final wave and apology. In her mind, I probably rued the day we ever crossed paths. In reality, her unannounced visit was the best thing that could have happened for me, Hunta, and the entire music industry. It wasn’t hard to find the irony in that.
________________
At 5:45, I left for my second meeting at L’Ermitage. Maxina had instructed me to bring two ideas, or at least one really good one. I had a really good one.
But, “good” is a subjective term. The XFL, which was debuting right at that very moment, seemed like a good idea to many. After all, nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. At least until the XFL. Who knew? Spokespeople for the soon-to-be defunct football league would attribute the poor ratings to all the Melrose-fueled hypersensitivity. In other words, they’ll blame the blame.
Some ideas were just plain bad from the start. Earlier that day, in Lake Mary, Florida, a twelve-year-old named Thomas Hitz doused his hand in bug spray and lit it on fire. Seeing his error in judgment, he tried to put his hand out on his cotton T-shirt. Also a mistake. By the time he jumped into his swimming pool, his only smart move, he had second and third-degree burns on his hand and chest.
Thomas and his parents would go on to blame MTV’s Jackass for the incident. They weren’t the first. The week before, a Connecticut boy named Jason Lind poured gasoline on his legs and lit himself up, hoping to imitate the same televised stunt that had inspired Thomas. On behalf of the Linds, Senator Joe Lieberman was quick to further publicize Jackass by calling for its cancellation. In actuality, four times as many kids (eight) were injured by real-live jackasses each month, and much more directly. From strictly a numbers point of view, donkeys were the more prevalent threat to our nation’s youth. Either Senator Joe didn’t know, or he was afraid to go after his party’s totem animal. Politics.
Alas, it’s a strange world. A strange nation. In the end, though, everything balanced. For every overreaction, there was an equal and opposite action. Hunta was destined to bear the brunt of America’s latest outcry. There was no way to stop it or even slow it down. Same went for Lisa. I was so busy worrying about how to destroy her or discredit her when all I had to do was upstage her. If she wanted to cry rape, I’d simply have to find another woman to cry it louder. And sooner.