Our room, that’s the only thing I heard. “You can’t just do this. I never even said I wanted any of this.”
“Vander? You don’t want Van?”
“Of course I do, but you don’t know that is even going to happen. I never even said I would sleep in the same bed with you. Paxton, no. You’re going too fast.”
“Too fast? I’m doing this for you, Gabriella. I’m trying like fuck to make things right with you.”
“Paxton, you haven’t even given me time to process the whole Lane thing. Would you have ever told me had I not found out?”
Paxton shook his head in disbelief. “Why do you have to ruin it, Gabriella?”
“Ruin it? Hmm, okay. I’m just going to go get coffee before this turns into something nasty. I’ve already got a bad taste in my mouth.”
“I don’t get it. Last night you were fine, sitting on my face and fucking my brains out. You didn’t seem to have a problem with that last night. What the fuck, Gabriella? What the fuck do you want me to do?”
“Watch your mouth for one thing,” I said with a glare, ducking around him in search of the girls. I looked up to him, placing my fists on my hips. “Look, I know this is an adjustment for you, too, but you gotta see things from my side. Jesus Paxton, you guys used me like some slut you picked up from a bar.”
“No, from a beach. I did think you were a slut. You never said no, Gabriella. Not once did you say no.”
“I was scared, Pax.”
“You say that like you remember it.”
“No, I say it like I feel it. You treated me like trash.”
Paxton moaned while the back of his head banged off the wall in frustration. Like he had anything to be frustrated about. I was the one he treated like a slut. “I treated you like that because you let me, because the fear in your eyes ignited every fire in me, and you asked for it.”
That pissed me off. “I asked for it. Oh, okay, well, since I asked for it.”
“Fuck this, Gabriella. I’m trying to show you how much you’re igniting the fire in me now. Can’t that be enough?”
My eyes narrowed on him while I contemplated his words. “You mean because you were getting bored with me before? What happens when you get bored the next time? Maybe I’ll get my memory back and that’ll keep you entertained for a little while?”
Paxton didn’t say another word. The veins in his neck didn’t pop out like they normally did, but I did see his fingers twitching. I wasn’t scared though. I’d felt them around my throat enough to know it was only a threat. He wouldn’t hurt me. He didn’t even speak. He grumbled some sort of incoherent language under his breath and walked away.
“Hey,” I called after him.
Paxton turned to me without a word. I think that was one of those times where the rule about not saying anything if you didn’t have anything nice to say was applied.
“I didn’t sit on your face last night.”
“You do listen,” he admitted, winked at me, and walked away.
I scratched my head, staring after him, and then groaned. My first stop had to be coffee. Just looking at the mess Paxton made gave me anxiety.
The first part of my morning was spent in Paxton’s room. Our room. I moved his things from both walk-ins to one. What else was I supposed to do? It wasn’t like any of it was mine if we quit anyway. Paxton wouldn’t give me a pair of shoes, let alone an entire wardrobe.
Sliding the last box from the shelf of my new closet, I dropped it when Paxton spoke.
“Wow, just move right on in,” he teased in playful voice, Rowan and Phi right behind him.
I started to scold him for scaring the hell out of me when I knelt to pick up the box, but stopped, frozen in my tracks. I shifted my gaze back to his somber face and to the girls. Both of them held onto the middle bar in the closet and did backflips.
“You went after it?” I questioned while sliding the golden envelope from the box. I knew it was the one from the cottage without a doubt.
“I didn’t open it yet,” he assured me.
“What is it?” Phi wanted to know.
I turned to them and frowned, pulling their dirty little hands from the empty bar. “What are you doing? Stop that. You’re filthy. Look at the handprints all over the wall. Go wash-up.”
“What is it though, Mom?” Phi questioned again.
I swatted her butt and told her it was adult stuff, and she walked away, following Rowan out with her dislike of adult stuff.
“When did you get this, Pax?”
“The same day you told me about it.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. I swear I didn’t look. I had all intentions of it, but I stopped myself. We’ll look together.”
“Now?”
“No, I have to get through this thing with Van first. You hid it there, not me.”
“What does that mean? You’re afraid if you look now, you’ll stop. You won’t want Vander?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“You’re afraid you won’t want me?”
“Gabriella, this is a lot of shit. You’re not the only victim here.”
“Now I’m a victim?” I questioned while calling him out on his own words. He’d just insisted that I stop playing the victim the night before.
“Give it to me. I’ll put it in the office until we’re ready for that.”
I stood with the copper colored envelope, crisp and new. Whatever it was, it hadn’t been there long. “I want to see what’s in it.”
Paxton crossed his arms and leaned into the doorjamb. “I’m not going to tell you no, if that’s what you’re waiting on, Gabriella.”
My eyes shifted from his back to the hidden secret as a soft sigh echoed throughout the empty closest. Our eyes locked when I stepped toward him and shoved it into his chest. “You have no idea how hard this is. I know all the things I am learning are the truth, but I can’t remember them. I hid that there. I know I did, but I have no clue what’s in it. With the way things are, it could be anything.”
Paxton held my hand over his chest and spoke in a calm collective tone. “That’s why we’re not going to open another can right now. We have enough open. Vander. That’s it today. Getting ready for him. That’s all we’re focusing on. Let’s take the girls out for pizza and tell them.”
“Tell them what?”
“About Van. Let’s tell them why Daddy demolished your room today.”
“No, let’s not. What if it doesn’t happen, Pax? What if you’re doing all of this for nothing? They don’t just hand kids over to people they don’t know. I’m sure it doesn’t work like that.”
“It’s going to happen, Gabriella. Stop looking for things to fight against. There is absolutely no reason why they wouldn’t take a little boy out of the system to be with his family. You’re looking for problems.”
“I’m afraid to believe that, Paxton.”
“Believe it, baby. He’s going to be living here sooner rather than later.”
“How soon?”
Paxton shrugged both his shoulders and kissed my nose. “We’ll find out Monday. Come on. I want your opinion on the window seat.”
“Since when do you want my opinion?”
“Since I’m trying to make you happy.”
I smiled a little on that note. It was kind of hard not to. He was sort of cute in an asshole kind of way. “You hear all that laughter and water going on in your bathroom? That’s your mess.”
“Okay, I’ll go grab my two little messes and you clean up their mess. Love that idea. Come see what I’ve done.”
I stood on the tips of my toes, bringing my lips closer to his. “You’re a sneaky bastard, you know that? Very manipulative.”
“My specialty,” Paxton admitted with a grin. His tongue traced my bottom lip and slipped inside, once again, causing that sparkly feeling, right in the middle of my chest.
I kissed him back, leaning into his chest, expecting his body to hold me. It did, and I was hooked—again. I bit into his poisonous bullshit, hook, line, and sinker.
Giggling little girls separated our lips, and I pulled away, keeping my lips on his. “Stupid little fish.”