“Why?”
“Because it was his way of punishing me. He knew how much it meant to her, and to me to see her so happy.”
“Did you leave?”
“Sort of. I walked away, but I hid around some lady with a big hat, and watched Rowan finally make it to her turn. Paxton took her picture with Mrs. Kerr, and her treasures.”
“You’re an adult, Gabby. You shouldn’t be punished, especially with your kids,” Lane said with a determined voice.
“It’s fine. I’m okay.”
“It’s not fine, Gabby. Never mind, let’s keep going. What happened next?”
“I went home, nothing really. I mean he spanked me, but he does that even if he doesn’t have a reason.”
“No, not that. Let’s move on to Tatiana. You said you were listening outside.”
“Oh, yeah. They were fighting. Tatiana accused him of being selfish, because he wanted her to move there, and Paxton retaliated.
“His voice raised and then he told her that the house was gutted because he wanted her to have a nice home. He told her he didn’t want her running all over the country with his daughter anymore. Then he got mad when she told him she had left her with a friend the last time. Four days. Paxton was pissed, but Tatiana gave it right back to him.
“Her sun-colored hair flipped to her back, and her red painted lips pursed. She yelled louder, telling him she never wanted any of that, and that was his dream, not hers. She told him she never wanted to move to Florida, and complained about all her friends being in Texas.
“Paxton calmed down and begged her to come there, calling it home. He even mentioned your name, reminding her that she liked Candace, and Tricia. It didn’t matter though, Tatiana already had other plans.
“It took her a few minutes to reply, but she did. She finally told him the truth.”
“What was the truth, Gabby?”
“She made it. She was a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader, and she wasn’t about to move there and give it all up. She once again told him that the house and Florida was his dream, not hers. She wasn’t ready for that role yet.
“Paxton tried to tell her that was all going to go away, that she had a couple years if she was lucky, and it would be too late. When that didn’t sway her, he used Rowan, telling her she would never see her again if she left. She struck back by telling him he wanted that, too. Like she didn’t even care about the poor little baby.
“Paxton and Tatiana talked for over two hours and I sat on the cold concrete and listened to every word. By the time they were done, Tatiana confessed to being in love with someone else, and she never had any intentions of coming there with him. They fought some more, Paxton raised his voice, called her names, and begged her not to tear their family apart. Tatiana reminded him again of her dream. Paxton wasn’t part of that dream, and neither was their baby. She just left her. Just like that, until the one time she showed up. That was it.”
The audio stopped just like that, and the black screen disappeared, leaving a photo of Rowan and Phi with Mickey Mouse ears in its place. I hadn’t even realized Paxton had moved to my side until that moment. We were face to face propped on elbows, and my hand rested in his.
“You watched me have sex with Tatiana?”
I narrowed my eyes and pulled my hand from his, dropping the stupid stone I hadn’t even realized I was holding, to the bed. “All that and that’s what you got out of it, huh?”
“Is that sarcasm? What? I don’t get it. What did you want me to get out of it?”
“I don’t know, Paxton. Maybe the part where you let me wait in line with my daughter for three hours, and then took it away from me. Maybe the part where I confessed what a stupid girl I was, drooling over your stupid ass while you were married,” I said, voice elevating as I went.
“What do you want me to say? I would never do that now. I love that you know these things about our girls, and I had no idea you felt that way. You never told me.”
“You never fucking asked, Paxton.”
“Whoa, Gabriella. If this is what’s going to happen every time we do this, then let’s quit. I’m trying my best to keep you from getting upset. I’m trying to be here for you. I can’t change what I did before. I’m okay with doing this with you, for your memory, but not if it means this. I’d rather you not know than see you upset. I can’t change it, baby.”
I took a deep breath and calmed down. He was right. Paxton may not have been the man I knew he could be, but he was definitely a work in progress. At least he was working. I guess that meant something.
“What happened after that, Paxton? How the hell did I end up being your wife? I don’t get it.”
Paxton moved his laptop and pulled me to him, forcing me to lay on the bed with him. I kept my hands behind my head, my eyes on the ceiling, and a pout on my lips. He may have been able to make me listen, but he couldn’t make me like it.
“I was angry at Tatiana, not you.”
“I was just the one you took it out on, right? The poor little fucked up girl living in your house. In the wrong place at the right time. You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you, Paxton?”
My body squirmed when he placed his hand up my shirt and on my stomach. I didn’t want him touching me. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. “I’m not going to lie to you, Gabriella. I had a well thought out plan, and you made it easy when you came to me carrying my baby. I knew I had you, hook, line and sinker. You did everything I told you to do, and you were more than willing to marry me. I never twisted your arm.”
“But you already told me that you didn’t give me a choice, that you didn’t ask me to marry you. You told me I had to.”
“Oh, fuck that shit, Gabriella. You could have stopped it and you know it.”
“How? We already know I didn’t stand up to you.”
“But you could have. You do now. You fucking punched me in the eye. You could have threatened to call nine-one-one, like you did after you got out of jail. I don’t want that shit. I don’t want cops coming to my house around my kids for domestic violence. I had no idea what you’d tell them. You could have fought back, Gabriella. You didn’t.”
“And you could have loved me like you loved her, Paxton, but you didn’t. I don’t know if you’re the stupid fish or if I am.”
“What does that even mean, Gabriella?”
“You know. Did I bite, hook, line, and sinker, or did you?”
“Maybe we both did, Gabriella. Maybe we’re both stupid fish, fighting for the same hook. Maybe it’s just as much your fault as it is mine.”
I pulled my hair between my fingers and groaned. As dumb as it sounded coming from his mouth, it sort of made sense to me. What did that make me? Stupid, stupid, fish.
Fifteen
The next couple of days were as normal as our dysfunctional family could make them. Paxton worked, the girls and I went about our everyday routine, and we signed papers for Rowan to advance to the second grade. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about her teacher though. I was expecting a Miss, not a Mr. He was nice enough, but I wasn’t convinced he was smarter than my daughter. That was yet to be determined. Rowan liked him, so I guess that was all that mattered.
I worried myself sick waiting for news from The State of Michigan, and Paxton and I watched another video, but it was more of the same, the night Tatiana showed up at our house. She was shocked that I had Phi, and Rowan wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. The whole thing was peculiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on why, or what. We didn’t learn anything that we argued about, that was the main thing.