Except that it wasn't. Now Alec would pull him close, kiss him. Sometimes in the morning, a whispering of his mouth against the curve of David's lips before he left, and always at night, a strange little surprised smile on his face when he returned from the mines. Sometimes they'd end up leaving dinner to grow cold. Sometimes they didn't eat dinner at all.
And now when David wanted to touch Alec he could and did. He'd never been able to do anything like that, had never been able to reach out and run his fingers along someone's skin, never had anyone turn to him when he did and smile. All his life he'd been careful when he touched.
David had never been so happy and looking at Alec's face when he came back at night, the way his eyes lit up when David said his name, he thought that maybe Alec felt the same way, too.
One night Alec came in carrying a small box. "Here," he said gruffly, and handed it to him.
Inside was something round and gleaming creamy white, covered with a sprinkle of tiny sugared berries.
"What is it?" David said.
Alec looked at him strangely. "A cake." He took the box out of David's hand and put it on the table.
"It's pretty. Do you want something to eat?"
"You've never had cake?"
David shook his head. Alec leaned over and cupped his jaw with one hand, staring at him with gentle eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something but in the end he didn't, just pulled away and got a knife, cut a small piece and passed it to him, a smile on his face.
After his first bite, David kissed him.
"I'll bring home cookies tomorrow," Alec said.
A few days later Alec came home very early from the mines, returning when the sun had just taken over the sky. David was still in bed.
"So now I know what you really do all day," he heard and rolled over to see Alec smiling at him.
"I must be dreaming," he said and touched Alec's face.
Alec snorted and said, "Some dream," but kissed the inside of his palm before gently tugging him up.
"Get dressed," he said. "We're going to a fair."
"A fair?"
"It's‑‑never mind. There'll be cake there."
David grabbed his pants.
Everyone they passed on the streets was smiling, happy. "Holiday," Alec told him as they walked. "King's celebrating something."
"What?"
Alec shrugged and didn't look at him when he said, "A peace signing."
"With who?" David said, and then Alec looked at him, dark eyes solemn.
"Prince and Princess of a land you know," he said and paused for a moment before adding,
"They rule it now."
"Oh," David said and a breeze swirled around them. "Then my‑‑my father is…he's…" He'd never known him, could barely picture him, but still. He was gone. The people walking in front of them shivered, said they wished for warmer coats.
"Hey," Alec said, and took his hand. David waited for him to let go but he didn't. After forty steps David linked his fingers tightly through Alec's, so he would know he was still holding him.
Alec didn't let go.
The fair was enormous. David had seen lots of people before‑‑the castle had been full of them‑‑
but never like this, shifting crowds moving this way and that, not vying for any one person to look at them but rather being cajoled by calls from everywhere, promises of entertainment and food and drink. It was as if everything in the world was there waiting just for them. He saw jugglers and acrobats and fire‑eaters and players acting out stories of every kind. There were even singers too, and both he and Alec stopped to listen to them. Alec's face, as he watched them, was wistful, and David saw him glance down at his hands, start to shove them into his coat pockets.
"You sing better than they do," David whispered to him, and caught one of his hands with his own.
"You too," Alec said, grinning at him, and the next verse they both picked up the words, sang them quietly to each other, their voices blending together into one.
Later Alec bought him a cup of something with a name that was all vowels and l's. "From the far hills," Alec said, a wicked grin on his face. It was clear like water but tasted like a flash of light, a bright shocking blur. David blinked, looked at Alec. He could feel the drink rushing warm inside him. Everything looked brighter and Alec was right there, right next to him, his grin grown even wider.
"I like this," David said after his third sip. He leaned in to whisper it in Alec's ear, nuzzled his neck.
"I can tell," Alec said and motioned for another.
Halfway through a play about sheep and miracles David leaned over and rested his head on Alec's shoulder. The world was swimming around him, a dizzy blur. Alec felt so good, so solid.
And he smelled nice and warm and like...like he always did. Like himself, his own special Alec smell. It was wonderful. "I wish we were home," he said, and bit Alec's earlobe gently, licked his neck.
"Hey," Alec said quietly and when Alec turned toward him David kissed him, open‑mouthed and eager.
"Mining trash," someone hissed behind them and David reached back with one hand, let his fingers brush against the knee of the man who'd spoken. He heard a crack and then a gasp, a whimper. Then Alec was tugging him up, hurrying them through the crowd.
"What were you thinking?" he said when they were on the street, turning back to look behind them.
"I was thinking about you," David said, and put a hand on Alec's shoulders. They were framed under his hands. Alec looked at him and the worried look on his face faded, his eyes flaring hot.
"You and me." He slid his hands down Alec's chest, leaned in and kissed him. Then he moved his hands lower.
"We're in the middle of the street," Alec said and then gasped, pulled him closer.
"I don't care," David said. "I want you."
Later and forever what he would remember about that afternoon was the way the sun and the sky had swirled together overhead, a color he could remember but would never see again, the cool stone of the arch he and Alec were pressed against, the dark brown of Alec's eyes staring into his when David pushed into him. The sound of Alec saying his name over and over, voice wild and pleading.
Alec was quiet that night and again the next. He didn't touch him at all, kissed him in the evenings quickly and then slept carefully curled away from him.
The third night David got up when Alec fell asleep. He climbed out of bed and sat on the floor, stared out the window looking up at the stars. He heard Alec wake up and roll over when the street lamps outside were starting to flicker, burning low. There was a sharp intake of breath and then Alec's voice saying "David?" softly, almost hopefully.
"Down here," David said and wondered if the sigh Alec made at the sound of his voice was happy or sad. He didn't know what had changed, what Alec was thinking. He wanted to. "Come sit with me."
"I‑‑all right," Alec said. In the moonlight he was all shadows and he sat down near him but not next to him. David moved closer, reached out and put a hand on Alec's leg when he started to move back.
"You have to sit here if you want to see the stars."
"David‑‑"
"I like it when you say my name."
Alec was silent for a moment. Then he reached out and put his hand over David's and pushed it away, as if he couldn't bear his touch. "Except it's not your name."
"It‑‑"
"It isn't. You‑‑people like you have other names. Titles. And we both know I'm not ever someone you were supposed to meet, much less‑‑"
"But I did meet you."
"Always with the obvious," Alec said, and smiled at him then, a strained smile.