Jake and Nerdly, dressed in white tuxedoes, walked up the aisle and took their places before the podium, where Timmy Palakiko, the officiator of the wedding, stood in a pair of knee length shorts, a blue patterned Hawaiian shirt, and a pair of flip-flops. He had a flower lei around his neck and a pair of dark sunglasses covering his eyes. His black hair was shoulder length, but neatly combed. The strong smell of marijuana exuded from him and was carried over the audience by the wind. Despite all this (or perhaps because of it), he projected a regal presence. And the price was right too. He was not charging for his services at all as long as he got to partake in the reception food and drink and would be allowed to hang a few photos of him officiating at the celebrity wedding in his office and use those photos for advertising purposes.
The wedding photography team itself—there were six of them running around, dressed in jeans and casual shirts, snapping away with expensive-looking cameras—were also plying their trade without charge, although, in actuality, taking pictures of nuptials was not their normal business. They had been sent to the venue by People magazine, who had agreed to Jake’s terms for being given the rights to take and publish official wedding photos in their rag. The agreement was simple and did not involve the exchange of money at all—although Pauline had told Jake that he could have easily gotten them to pay twenty to thirty grand for the privilege. They would serve as the exclusive wedding photographers and give Jake and Laura copies of the negatives of all shots taken during the event. They, in turn, would have the right to publish any of their photos.
Once Jake and Nerdly were in place, they turned and looked back at the guests seated in the folding chairs. They were all dressed casually, most in shorts and Hawaiian style shirts, per instructions from Jake. The only exception was Greg Oldfellow, who would no more dress casually for a wedding ceremony than he would skydive naked. He was decked out in a custom-tailored three-piece suit, complete with jacket and polished handmade shoes. The photographers made a point to get multiple shots of the handsome actor in a variety of poses. His wife was not with him at the moment. She was with Laura, behind the door of the staging area in front of the beach, waiting her time to make her entrance.
Jake smiled as he saw his friends and family gathered in one place. His parents were seated next to Stan and Cindy, his mother and Cindy both with tissues at the ready. Pauline and Obie were just to the left of them, Paulie with little Tabby (dressed quite adorably in a Hawaiian patterned dress) sitting in her lap and sucking on a binky. Elsa sat just behind his mother, next to Charlie Meyer and a thirty-year-old woman named Sonya.
“Who is Sonya?” Jake had asked him shortly after being introduced to her earlier that day—right after the two of them had arrived at the resort from the airport.
“She’s the daughter of the guy who owns the cheese factory that supplies my restaurants,” he explained simply. “We’re going out now.”
“You’re ... going out?” Jake asked. “You mean ... like ... boyfriend/girlfriend kind of going out?”
“That’s right,” Charlie said. “She’s pretty hot, isn’t she?”
Jake nodded. Sonya was, in fact, quite attractive, an olive-skinned beauty with a nice trim body, dark, luxuriant hair, and a face that men dreamed of nutting on. “Yes ... but ... but what about Malcom?” Malcom Stone was the manager of the vegetarian restaurants Charlie owned, the business brains behind the success of the venture, and the man Charlie referred to as his ‘life partner’ on every possible occasion. They had been living together as man and husband ever since Charlie had come out as gay almost four years before.
“Oh ... Malcolm,” Charlie said with a shrug of dismissal. “We broke up. It was one of those irreconcilable differences.”
“That’s too bad,” Jake said, though he had never actually met Malcolm. “What happened?”
“Well,” Charlie explained casually, “it turns out that I’m not really gay.”
“You’re ... not really gay?” Jake asked slowly.
“That’s right. It’s kind of a relief to stop living the lie, truth be told.”
“Living the lie?” Jake asked, astonished.
“Yeah,” Charlie said, nodding seriously. “Pretending I like sucking dicks, or having Malcolm stick his cock up my ass. It was getting old.”
“Getting old,” Jake said. “So ... you’re saying you didn’t really like doing that all those years?”
“Not really,” Charlie said with another shrug. “I guess it was a phase I was going through. In any case, having sex with a woman is a lot more hygienic when you come right down to it. It’s also easier to get in and out when you’re wearing two condoms. You know how it is.”
“I don’t think I do,” Jake said. “You’re saying that just like that...” He snapped his fingers. “ ... you’re hetero again?”
“I never really wasn’t hetero,” Charlie explained. “It was just a phase I was going through.”
“A phase where you slept in a bed with another dude, sucked his dick, and let him put that dick up your ass ... all on a regular basis and for more than four years?”
“That’s right,” Charlie said. “Just one of those things.”
“I see,” Jake said, although he did not. He let it go though. This was probably the wisest course of action.
Seated on the other side of Charlie and Sonya were Gordon and Neesh, both dressed in matching shorts and Hawaiian shirts, G with his signature clenched fist medallion dangling around his neck and a four-carat diamond stud in his left ear. Neesh was wearing similar diamond earrings in both ears and had her hair down around her shoulders. The two of them held hands as they waited for the bride to make her appearance. Jake had been a little worried about whether or not G and Neesh were even going to make the trip. For some reason, Laura had been avoiding Neesh ever since that night the couple had come over for dinner. Neesh called her up every few days trying to arrange a girls-night with her, but Laura always found an excuse (most of them, Jake knew, patently untrue) not to go with her. Laura had also found excuses to not go on the two occasions that Jake had gone over to G’s house to work on their song.
“Is something up between you and Neesh?” he asked her on the second occasion, after she told him that she wasn’t feeling well and would skip the trip to G’s house that night.
“What do you mean by that?” she asked, her voice perhaps just a bit too casual.
“Well ... it seems like you keep trying to find a way to avoid being in her company,” he said. “She seems to like hanging out with you. Do you not like her?”
“She’s a wonderful person and one of my few friends,” Laura explained. “I’m not trying to avoid her, I’m just kind of stressed out ... the wedding and everything.”
“I see,” Jake said. “Well, we’ll miss you tonight.”
“It’s nothing personal,” Laura said. “Be sure Neesh knows that.”
But Jake wasn’t so sure. There had been a look in Laura’s eye when she’d said that—a look that had seemed to have a little bit of fear and ... and a little bit of something else he couldn’t quite identify.
Still, Neesh and G had been on the Gulfstream with them for the flight to Hawaii and the relationship between his soon-to-be wife and G’s fiancé had been as it always had. The girls had sat together with Celia for most of the trip, laughing and giggling and drinking glasses of wine. Maybe the wedding stress had been getting to him? Putting odd ideas in his head? It was possible.
Just behind G and Neesh, Coop sat next to Dexter Price and Bobby Z. None of the three had brought a date with them, and Jake had been a little worried about having Dex and Z in the same place together given their tumultuous past with each other, but they seemed to be getting along quite well with each other. Perhaps even romantically well? It was hard not to notice the looks and smiles the two jazz musicians were giving each other. Homer, Sally, Groove, and Squiggle—Laura’s bandmates on the Bobby Z tour—had all been invited, but all had politely declined. Jake was actually sort of glad about this. Laura had told him about her feelings for Squiggle out on the road, and the fact that Squiggle would have acted on them had the offer been made. This was drama he just did not want to deal with at his wedding and he was glad that he wouldn’t have to.