Her tears tapered off into hitching breaths, and she stripped out of her clothes, climbing naked between the clean sheets, and looked out the window across the room while hugging a pillow to her chest. Her soul felt wrung out, exhausted from both her experience with Bryan and the unexpected memories of her divorce.
She hated it, hated how she’d think she was over the worst part and something would sneak up and bite her in the ass. It was happening a lot less
She hated it, hated how she’d think she was over the worst part and something would sneak up and bite her in the ass. It was happening a lot less than it used to, but every once in a while, she couldn’t help but wish everything had miraculously worked out with her and her ex-husband. She wiped her cheeks and sighed softly. It really would have taken an act of God for their marriage to last any longer than it had.
Right now her body should be in pain, but thanks to the miracle of VR, nothing physically hurt. Too bad she couldn’t leave her wounded spirit there as well. More than anything, she wanted Bryan behind her right now, to be held in his arms and feel him surrounding her, keeping her safe. That mental image made her heart ache. She didn’t need a man to make her feel good. She could feel good all on her own.
Besides, Bryan had acted like it was no big deal. To him it probably wasn’t. Heck, he probably shared his women all the time, not that she was his woman. Nope, she was simply his vacation fling, just like he was her vacation fling. She couldn’t let the fact that she wanted more keep her from enjoying the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that she had to be with a man who gave her utterly fantastic orgasms.
The sunlight glinted off the windows of the buildings across the Detroit River in Windsor. A low hum filled the room as the air conditioner kicked in, and exhaustion pulled at her eyelids until she just gave up and closed them altogether. She didn’t like feeling like this at all. Jeez, she was acting worse than a teenager, crying in her room over a guy. What was she, sixteen? Did she need to write Bryan a note and have a friend pass it to him in class?
That thought made her giggle, and she snuggled deeper into her pillows. She’d talk to Bryan before dinner, stake out the elevators or something until he arrived. Then they’d have an adult conversation, and she’d find some way to explain why she’d bolted that didn’t make her sound crazy. He’d given her exactly what she told him she wanted—a chance to explore all her fantasies—and she’d freaked out. She would calmly thank him for the experience. If he wanted her to join him for dinner, she would accept and prove to him that she wasn’t a coward and that she could handle whatever he wanted to do with her.
If he didn’t want to have dinner with her, she’d find a table to sit at and force herself to talk to the people there. Maybe she could find Julia or Annie and sit with them. Yeah, she’d sit with them and stare across the room at Bryan and whatever lucky sub ended up the center of his attention. Then she would calmly get up and walk across the room to haul the hussy off his lap by her hair.
With a groan, she pulled the pillow over her face and screamed into it. As illogical, stupid, and utterly self-destructive as it was, she had to admit to herself that she saw Bryan as so much more than a fling. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone and find someone else, or just do the VR fantasies with the computer. But she didn’t want that; she wanted Bryan. A man who could reduce her to a puddle of bubbling hormones with a glance.
She ran her fingers over her back, tracing the phoenix tattoo inked into her skin. When she’d first had the idea for the tattoo, she’d been terrified of the pain and afraid of all the negative things people would think of her for having a tattoo. But she’d gotten it anyways and hadn’t once regretted the decision. The pain she’d endured while getting the tattoo had helped cleanse her somehow, and she’d left the shop feeling proud of herself for facing her fears. Now she had to do the same thing with this situation, be brave enough to face her fear and rise above it.
Okay, so she would stalk Bryan at the elevators and throw herself at his feet, begging for mercy. She should probably wear pants so that she didn’t get burns on her knees. While begging at his feet, she would calmly thank him for the amazing time in VR today and let him know she wanted to do more of the same with him. Hopefully she wouldn’t sound too desperate as she soaked the hem of his pants with tears while she kissed his boots. Though if he was wearing sandals, she didn’t know if she could kiss his feet unless he took good care of them.
If he had weird, hairy hobbit-type feet, he’d just have to settle for her kissing his ankles.
Bryan rolled his neck as he stepped out of the packed elevator into the main lobby of the resort. He had to give a presentation tonight, and his usual jitters about speaking before a large crowd combined with his apprehension over what had happened with Tanwen. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that the knot in his stomach had nothing to do with a fear of public speaking and everything to do with the way she had lost it with him today. That horrible keening noise she had made still gave him the shivers, and he wanted nothing more in the world than to make sure she never made that sound again.
He thought about her “Phoenix List” that he had found and turned back to the front desk. So far, he’d done his best to grant the first two wishes on her list—relearning the pleasure of kissing and finding out if different types of orgasms existed—but he wanted to be the one to fulfill all her desires. Part of him wished he’d gone against his blasted sense of honor and read more, found out all the things she wanted. Instead he had to figure out the jumbled and fascinating puzzle of the female mind without a cheat sheet.
A throng of people milled around the elevators, some standing in groups and talking while others tried to move through and out into other parts of the resort. This part of the lobby boasted magnificent brass fountains surrounded by different kinds of plants. As he passed a large potted palm tree surrounded by birds of paradise flowers, someone grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket. Before he even finished turning all the way around, the load on his heart lightened as he saw Tanwen.
She wore a pair of cream pants that hugged her full hips and an emerald green silk halter top that brought out her eyes. As she met his gaze, she flushed and dropped the sleeve of his jacket like it was on fire. Silk straps tied around her throat held the top in place, leaving her arms bare, and he had a glimpse of the phoenix tattoo on her back. She glanced up at him and cleared her throat, then clasped her hands together and stared at her fingers. A light pink gloss frosted her lips, and he wondered if they would taste like cotton candy. He wanted to take her into his arms, to apologize if he’d taken things too far with her earlier, but he needed to wait her out, hear what she had to say first.
Finally she lifted her gaze to his chin before saying in a husky whisper, “Hi.”
“Hello, Tanwen.” He crossed his arms over his chest in an effort to keep from gathering her up and kissing her until that sad look left her eyes. Instead he said what had been bothering him all afternoon. “Tell me something. Did I do anything you didn’t like this morning? Did I hurt you in a way you didn’t want?”
“No, you didn’t hurt me. I mean, you did, but I really liked it.” The blush filled her face and climbed all the way to her forehead. He worried for a moment that she would pass out before she squared her shoulders. “I’m sorry about that, I really am. It was rude of me to leave. I just felt very…overwhelmed. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
He gave in to temptation and pulled her close, breathing deep her light floral perfume as she instantly cuddled into him. “Little flame, feeling overwhelmed is a perfectly normal thing for a sub after such an intense scene. I’m pretty sure that was your first for, well, a lot of things. When you left, I didn’t get a chance to hold you, to let you know you were safe and lov—cared for.” She tensed against him, and he remembered how adamant she had been about this being a vacation fling. He quickly tried to put her at ease, even if his words were total bullshit. There was no way he was going to let this end after just a few days, but right now, he had to reassure her he wasn’t after anything more. “I know you’re my sub only for this vacation, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do everything I can to make sure you’re happy. That’s what doms do. We strive to make our subs happy.”
Her slim shoulders rose and fell beneath his hands as she took a deep breath, then looked up at him. “I really do appreciate all the wonderful things you’ve done and shown me. I’ve learned more about myself and what arouses me in two days with you than I did in my entire marriage.”
The sincerity of her words touched him almost as much as the vulnerability in her gaze. He really, really didn’t want to let her go. Thankfully he didn’t have to—yet. “Would you still like to play with me?”
To his astonishment, she slid down his body to her knees. Her golden hair fell forward as she bowed her head and kissed his shoe. “Sir, I would love to play with you.”
The rest of the world faded to a hum as he drank in the site of her submissive pose, the way her rounded butt pressed against her pants and the outline of her thong as she leaned forward. She remained there, her lips pressed to his foot until he swore he could feel the heat of her kiss through the leather of his shoe. “You please me very much, little flame.”
A shudder rippled through her body, and she leaned up, tossing her hair over her shoulder in a perfectly feminine gesture that he adored. “Thank you, Sir.”
He held out a hand to help her to her feet, noting how her nipples stuck through the thin silk of her shirt like pencil erasers. Her mouth softened, making it impossible to resist capturing her lips in a devastatingly gentle kiss that left her panting and his cock straining against the confinement of his pants. She traced the lapel of his suit and straightened his tie with a bemused smile. “Not that I’m complaining, but it’s different seeing you in a suit. I almost didn’t recognize you at first. Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Anderson Cooper?”
He rolled his eyes and indulged himself in kissing his way along the soft skin of her jaw to her ear. “I’m giving a presentation after dinner tonight.” He nuzzled her ear, giving the tender flesh of her lobe a sharp bite that had her pressing her hips into his. “I know our arrangement is only for VR, but I want you to come back to my room with me when I’m done.”
Her fingers stilled, and he could see the pulse in her throat pound. “Just the two of us, Sir?”
Jealousy reared its ugly head, and he had to fight to keep his tone even. “Is that a problem?”
She empathetically shook her head but kept her eyes on his chest. “No, not at all, Sir.”
The lobby around them was rapidly emptying as the crowd made its way toward the dining room. He couldn’t tell if her tension came from being alone with him, not having a third party there, or any of a number of things. “Would it make you feel safer to have someone else there?”
Again she shook her head. “No, I trust you.” Now she did look up at him, and he found himself falling into those big eyes as they sparkled with mischief. “Besides, I know the Vulcan nerve pinch.”
He laughed and slid his hand into hers, marveling at how well they fit together as they strolled to dinner. “I’ll have to make sure your hands are occupied with something more fun than knocking me out.”