She crossed her arms and slowly climbed the four flights to her floor, glad her key card was still in her pants. The carpet of the hallway muffled her steps as she ducked her head and hoped no one she knew came out of their room. Not that she really knew anyone, but still with every step she took down the hall, she became more conscious of her disheveled appearance. She must look a sight with her face still puffy from crying and without makeup.
Opening the door to her room with a sigh of relief, she closed it behind her and just stood there for a moment. Her brain seemed to be having trouble thinking beyond the next few minutes, and a dull ache was beginning behind her eyes. She considered turning on the lights but instead made her way across the dark room, flopping onto the small sofa that faced the shadowy river.
Little lights moved slowly up and down the ribbon of dark water as she sat there and let the world drift by, much like those boats. She was tired, mentally and physically, but still too keyed up to sleep. The situation with Bryan spun around and around in her thoughts until she rubbed her eyes, willing her brain to give it a rest. But as soon as she stopped thinking about it, she became more aware of the hollow ache in her chest that seemed to radiate outward.
Despite the best efforts of her rational mind, her foolish heart had fallen for Bryan and gotten hurt. She rubbed her sternum and sat forward with her elbows on her knees, contemplating the distant blinking dots of planes flying away from the city. That’s where she wanted to be right now: flying away from all this mess as quickly as she could.
She was too old for this shit.
A part of her mind argued she was just running away from a situation that could possibly be resolved. What if she was giving up on something wonderful? What if her hatred of arguing and confrontation was dooming her to a life of being alone? After all, everyone fought in their relationships; it was just part of human nature.
Still, she wasn’t sure if they even had a relationship to be fighting over. She’d been so full of emotion during their argument that she honestly couldn’t be clear on everything Bryan had said. Now that she was cooling down a bit, she didn’t know if she’d imagined that he’d hinted he wanted something more or if it was just her wishful thinking.
Then again, that came right back around to her original problem with their geographical differences, in addition to the fact that she really didn’t know much about him at all. So they had fantastic sex and he made her feel like the most beautiful, cherished, and desired woman in the world. That didn’t mean she was going to introduce him to her sons.
She stood and searched for her purse, her eyes now adjusted enough to the darkness that she easily found it on top of the dresser. After a few moments of digging through the pockets, she found her cell phone. Holding the cool plastic in her hands, she stared at the screen with the images of flowers eternally blooming. She had the number to the airline programmed into the phone, and knew there were flights going to and from Wisconsin at all times of the day and night. It would be easy to just change her flight plans. Yeah, it might cost her a couple hundred dollars, but that money was well worth it if it meant she didn’t have to feel like this anymore.
As the blooming flowers morphed from roses to orchids on the small screen, she found that she couldn’t make herself press the button to connect her to the airline. Part of it was because she couldn’t help feeling like a coward for running away, but another part of it was the fact that she didn’t want to lose Bryan…if he was even hers to lose.
Taking a deep breath, she closed the phone and slid it into her pocket. She switched on the small lamp next to the bed and walked over to the dresser, avoiding looking into the mirror as she looked through one of the drawers. After turning her back on her reflection, she quickly changed out of Bryan’s shirt and into one of her own, folding his into a neat square.
Before she could chicken out, she left her room and shoved her cell phone into her pocket. Nervous energy filled her as she rode the elevator to Bryan’s floor. Maybe she should have called Bryan first to let him know she was coming to drop the shirt off. Then again she wasn’t very good at talking on the phone when she was upset; she tended to freeze up and stumble over her words. No, she needed to see him face-to-face. At least then she could talk to him and hopefully find out one way or another how he felt about her.
The bing of the elevator doors opening snapped her out of her musings, and as she stepped into the hallway, her heart dropped into her stomach. There at the end of the hall stood Bryan, exchanging a hug with a beautiful, young brunette with deeply tanned skin in jean shorts and a pale blue top. He smiled at her and led her into his room without seeing Tanwen gaping at him. As his door shut, Tanwen wanted to run down there and beat on it, demand he tell her who the hell that woman was and what the hell she was doing in his room.
The elevator doors closed behind her, and she stood there, stunned that he could be so callous. They’d just made love—no, they’d had sex—in that bed mere hours ago, and he was already looking for someone else to take her place. Someone young and pretty who wouldn’t push him for more than he wanted to give. She couldn’t bear to have him open the door and face the humiliation of seeing another woman in his bed, endure his words as he told her to go away.
With a numb finger, she pushed the button for the elevator and closed her eyes against the tears that threatened. She took a deep breath and bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough that the pain cleared her mind and chased back the sorrow a bit. By the time the elevator arrived, she had her phone out and was talking with the airline. Before the doors closed, she balled up Bryan’s T-shirt and threw it against the hallway wall, wishing she could do the same with her foolish broken heart.
Chapter Twelve
Two months later, Tanwen smiled up at the handsome radiologist as they walked out of the hospital elevator together. Their shift had just ended, and Vince was once again trying to convince her to grab dinner with him.
“Come on, Tanwen, just a bite to eat at the diner. Nothing fancy, just a couple of buddies from work hanging out together.”
Rolling her eyes, Tanwen plucked at her scrubs. “I’m hardly dressed for dining out.”
Vince shrugged and gave her a heated look. “You make those scrubs look good.”
She looked away, discomforted by his flirting rather than attracted. Every nurse on her floor drooled over Vince, so why didn’t her stomach fill with butterflies at the thought of having dinner with him? No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t find herself seeing him as anything other than a friend.
“Really, Vince, you should ask Beth if she wants to go.” They paused to let an elderly woman in a wheelchair pass. “I know she’s been dying for you to ask her out.”
He cocked his head and examined her closely. “I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with you, do I?”
A flush heated her cheeks, and she scrubbed at the floor with the tip of her shoe. “I-I’m… I think you’re a great guy, but I’m just not interested in you like that.”
She peeked up and caught the look of sadness in his expression, but he nodded. “I understand.” He took a deep breath and plastered a strained smile on his face. “So, Beth wants my hot body, huh?”
She grinned, thankful he hadn’t caused a scene. “You’ll need to ask her that.”
The nurse in question, a pretty blonde with generous hips and breasts, came out of one of the elevators behind them. Her blue eyes sparkled as she spied Vince. His voice turned thoughtful as he said, “Gotta run, Tanwen.”