Once, Charley had taken her to bed, just out of interest, boredom maybe, knowing that Tina would never dream of saying no. They had tried this strange, half-serious mix of sex and affection, all tentative fingers and gentle probing, no passion, no excitement, just touching, feeling, sensing. Afterward, when Charley questioned her about it, Tina said she was a virgin. These things hadn't happened in her life. There was always some work to be done. What social contact she got was through chat forums on the Net, not in the real places of the world that Charley, before she got sick, had frequented. There were so many like that in the Children, it only seemed fair to Charley that she should spread her own experience among them.
In time, she had thought, she would take Tina back to bed, pushing it all the way, as far as she wanted, seeing how long the fragile smile stayed on the plain face when the question of penetration, of real fucking, arose. Somehow it never happened. Over the past year, Charley had screwed almost every member of the Children. Most had enjoyed it too, though some were uncomfortable, merely submitted themselves. This was part of the sharing, part of establishing the relationship (of love, of control too). She was their mother figure, and their leader. She knew their bodies, the taut, anxious ones, the slack, frightened ones, she had tasted their sweat, their semen, their salt hair, consumed them with her love, her passion. But never Tina again. It made her wonder.
'You look so lovely,' Tina said, then touched her hair, sexlessly, reached for the mirror-backed brush, stroked gently, fine bristle moving through shining black. The bright reflections of the hot day skittered around the room as she moved. Charley closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation. This was the world slowing down, she thought. Every day is a winding road…
Joe Katayama walked through the door. She looked fondly at him. The rest of the family were still outside, crowding hopefully behind.
'They want to watch,' he said.
Quiet Joe. Loyal Joe.
'It's not possible. You know that. Too many risks. If someone were recognized…'
He nodded. 'Okay. I'll tell them.' Then he went out and closed the door behind him, returning shortly afterward. She didn't need to ask their reaction. People followed Joe, as they followed her, and, when she thought about it, this could annoy her. In their passivity, which was part of their innocence, lay some streak of laziness, something that might one day pass for a lack of resolution, cowardice even.
'Tina,' Charley said, stopping the brushing with her hand. 'Joe and I need a moment alone.'
'Sure.' She looked so happy. There was a radiance in them all, she thought, now that everything was going so well.
Joe watched her leave. 'How do you feel?'
She thought about it. 'Strange. A little elated. Some trepidation. But not frightened, no. I don't believe I could be frightened with you around.'
He just looked at her, said nothing.
'Joe?' It was hard to extend any depth to these conversations with him. Intimacy didn't frighten Joe, she thought, it was simply something that he didn't want to embrace.
'Yeah?'
'Do you remember a point where this all turned? Where you knew what was happening? And you couldn't go back?'
'No,' he said immediately.
'When I quit Sundog, left the job, moved in full-time with the family. That happened for me. There was a day when I woke up and felt this thing moving through me. We were talking loose stuff at the time. Thinking about little things, small acts that no one would ever have noticed. And I knew we could do more. That it was down to me, to lead us through it.'
Her head was fuzzy from the illness and the dope. 'You were there then?'
'Yeah,' he replied. 'I remember that time. We were waiting for something to draw all the threads together, Charley. You did that. Don't ask me how. I'm not that bright.'
She held out her arms, he bent down his head, let her embrace him. 'You're bright, Joe. Bright and loyal and true. The best lieutenant I could ever ask for. Even when it gets hard.'
He kissed her softly on the forehead, pulled back from her body. 'I can do it, Charley. I thought about these things a lot. And no, I'm not bright. But I know you got things worked out.'
'That's her strength, Joe. Gaia did that.'
'Right.'
'And you remember turning that corner?'
He thought about it. 'No. I remember feeling lost, wondering whether there was any purpose in anything. And then coming round to realizing you did see it, and it all made so much sense. You got the revelation, Charley. For the rest of us, it all came a little more slowly. We didn't have the gift.'
'No,' she said, and thought: Someone has to lead, always.
'You're sure about this?' she asked. 'We ought to be sure.'
He nodded. 'I'm sure.'
She stared at the closed door. 'I think I knew already. Intuitively. But there was something that prevented me seeing it. This is a human condition, Joe. One of our failings. The animals know better how to trust their instincts. Perhaps we can relearn these things when the world gets to start anew.'
'You're right,' he said, and she watched him thinking wordlessly, realized there was something of the animal, feline and strong, inside Joe Katayama all the time.
'Everything else is there?'
'Sure. The Web page just needs the movie in it and we'll upload it. We're planning to shift the address constantly. They'll see it, but they won't see us. No problem. We'll be like a TV station with a broadcast to the world, but no one will have a clue where we're coming from.'
'Good.' And this was the moment, she thought, much more than the time they pressed the button on Air Force One. This was when the awakening, the rebirth, began.
'Let's have this done,' she said.
Joe Katayama went out and came back after a minute with Tina Blackshire. The girl looked radiant. Her eyes shone, were a little misty. Beyond the door, before it shut, Charley could just make out a small crowd of figures, waiting.
'You'll let me watch?' Tina asked breathlessly.
'Yes.' Charley nodded. 'We need you, Tina. We all need you.'
The pale, vapid face looked puzzled, but flattered too. 'I never dreamed I would be part of this…' She came over, touched the white gown.
'You brushed my hair so beautifully, Tina.'
'It's like being there,' she said, her voice trembling into falsetto. 'Like watching the Sermon on the Mount, or seeing Buddha or something.'
'I'm not a god, Tina. None of us are gods.'
'No,' the girl said, kneeling at her feet. 'I know. You said. We're all part of the greater god. Gaia. And the spirit of the earth.'
'We come from the earth, we return to the earth. You know that, don't you?'
'Yes,' she said quietly.
Charley reached forward and touched her, felt her breast. The nipple was hard. Tina looked at her, wide-eyed, not knowing.
'It's the feminine within us that is the source, Tina. It's important to remember that. The masculine is important, but only as a facilitator. It's the feminine where the godhead lives, for all of us. We ignore that and we cease to be alive.'
'Yes.'
'The world springs from the female, which tames, humanizes the male. Creation is joy, the start of the cycle. You know about creation?'
'Sure.' Her eyes looked as if they might pop out of her head.
'And you know about our unmaking? How the cycle ends?'
'Yeah,' she replied softly. Then jumped. Joe Katayama had turned on the video camera, which was now attached to a tripod. It had burst into life with a loud mechanical crack.
'You know what you're going to say in the broadcast?' she asked, wanting to change the subject.
'I know.'
'You have no notes?'
'I don't need them.'
'Wow. You want me just to sit here? I'll be in the picture?'