Though her tone and voice were more affable than the other two women's, Mrs. Tsugane's next remarks brought Ogi up short.
"I understand that this Patron, as you call him, is getting back into re- ligious activities," she said, "but if your visit here to the Moosbrugger Com- mittee is for the purpose of recruiting converts, we can't allow the committee to use any of the conference rooms at the center. Outside of the meeting, of course, anyone is free to become a member."
It finally struck Ogi, whose innocence was in keeping with the nick- name his colleagues had given him, what his role had become-a religious canvasser.
"Just as when I wrote that letter," Ms. Tachibana said, "that isn't the reason why I want him to visit us. And I don't think that's where the inter- ests of the other members lie, either." In the overly hot central heating, strands of loose hair were plastered to her sweaty, pale forehead.
Ms. Asuka nodded in silent agreement.
"It's just that if we're going to have a relationship from now on," said Mrs. Tsugane, "I need you to understand that the Culture and Sports Center is a public facility."
Mrs. Tsugane said something next that, in one stroke, clarified the vaguely familiar feeling Ogi'd had ever since he met her; her face, too, was filled with a bright, wistful smile.
"When you were still a fresh-faced boy, Mr. Ogi, I sometimes saw you at your family's summer cottage in the Nasu Plateau. I tried to be friendly toward you, and according to your sister-in-law you liked me, too… and now look at you-grown into a wonderful young man."
After Ogi arrived back at his apartment, one station beyond the office at Seijo on the Odakyu Line, and began preparing dinner, the vivid memories Mrs.
Tsugane's remarks revived in him suddenly hit home. In the summer after his first year of high school, at their summer cottage in the Nasu Plateau, Ogi's whole family, from his father-head of the medical department at a public university-on down, were friends with a designer of hospital furniture who often came to stay with them. This year the man brought along his young wife Mrs. Tsugane. Her family had a summer home in the same area, and she and her husband were friends of Ogi's brother and sister-in-law. Ogi wasn't part of the two young couples' activities, since he was younger.
One day, when the young couples had changed into swimsuits at the house and gone to a nearby heated pool, Ogi went into the rest room connected to the bath and discovered the designer's wife's discarded white tank top, soft denim skirt, and a pair of panties with a flowery watercolor design in a laundry ham- per. Seized by a sudden impulse, Ogi stuffed the skimpy pair of panties in his pocket. That night he easily slipped the panties-two pieces of cloth connected by bits of elastic-onto his skinny body, and slept with them on, enveloped in a warm comfortable feeling, as if once more he were a happy baby. The next day, though, feelings of remorse clutched at him, and knowing that this panty thievery would not go unnoticed, he returned alone to Tokyo.
Every summer after that, Ogi begged off going to the summer cottage, saying he was busy with extracurricular activities.
2
When Ogi told her about the Moosbrugger Committee's proposal, Dancer said that while it might be possible for Patron to visit the committee, she wanted to wait before she broached the topic. For the time being, Patron had to concentrate on his discussions concerning their new plans with Guide, who had quickly recovered and had been released from the hospi- tal. Ogi, always meticulous when it came to their office work, wanted to get in touch with the Culture and Sports Center to let them know not to expect a quick reply. But he had another, more emotional, motive for call- ing: Mrs. Tsugane's voice on the phone, he had to admit, gave him a tingly feeling all over.
"I think you should get in touch with Ms. Tachibana directly," Mrs.
Tsugane told him, and gave him the telephone number; Ms. Tachibana worked in the library of a Jesuit university in Yotsuya.
"She's a very capable woman," Mrs. Tsugane went on, "and has been living for a long time with her handicapped younger brother. She isn't doing this as an act of self-sacrifice but because she feels it's the best way she and her brother can become more independent. Ms. Asuka is also a free spirit, with her own special way of putting that freedom into practice. As Ms. Tachibana implied, Ms. Asuka is involved in adult entertainment, saving up the funds she needs to make her own films… They're such opposites it makes me wonder how they've come to rely on each other so much as members of the committee… "Well, now that you know all this background, I'm sure you'll find plenty to talk about. After you do I'd like you to come see me. You do owe me something, right? Ha!"
Ogi got in touch that day with Ms. Tachibana's office, and they met the fol- lowing day, after she finished work, outside the side gate to the university.
They sat down for a talk on a bank that overlooked a moat, amid a line of cherry trees whose leaves had turned.
Ms. Tachibana had on a white and navy blue suit too subdued for her age, and, in contrast to her introspective demeanor, she strode toward him with firm, determined steps.
Ogi began by explaining to her about the young woman they all called Dancer, how she took care of Patron's daily needs and was responsible for many of the activities they had planned for the future, and then he gave her the message Dancer had asked him to relay. He apologized for his ambiva- lent reply the other day. Ms. Tachibana wasn't interested in talking about the Moosbrugger Committee, but wanted to explain why it was important for her, as an individual, to meet with Patron. Ogi readily agreed. Despite his youth, he was an excellent listener.
"I was once a student at this university," Ms. Tachibana began, "and a little more than ten years ago, just before the Somersault, when my brother and I were still living with our parents, an acquaintance invited me to a small gathering where Patron spoke.
"I wasn't a believer at the time, and though his sermon really moved me, it didn't convert me. At any rate, I'd become friends with the mother of a mentally challenged child who worked at the same welfare office where I took my brother, and she was the one who took me to the gathering. This mother wasn't a believer either.
"Life wasn't easy for me then, because of my brother. He could only use a few words, and has the cognitive ability of a four- or five-year-old, his motor skills about the same. But he has perfect pitch and composes music. He'd al- ready begun composing at the time. Once there was a concert at the Welfare Center and the volunteer pianist advised me to send copies of my brother's compositions to a famous composer, which I did right away. The composer wrote back, saying the melodies were exquisite, and also sent me a copy of a book he wrote. I brought the book with me. Here's what it says."
Ms. Tachibana took out a small hardcover book from her oversized handbag. Ogi motioned her over to some concrete seats shaped like tree stumps.
When one thinks, it's impossible to escape the agency of language. Even when one thinks in the medium of sound, there's an inevitable connec- tion with language. In my case, in order to form a framework in which my thoughts can be clearly expressed in the overall structure of my music and also in the details, I find it necessary to verify things in lan- guage. And I leave it up to a decision of the senses. I discover the themes of my music, too, through this sort of process. It has nothing to do with a poetic mood or anything like it.
"This made me think my brother's music has limitations. It's like there's a bar set up very low, and the music can't get over that hurdle. Perhaps the composer didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me that directly, and that's why he sent me his book.
"My brother lies on the floor of our apartment, in our public housing apartment, and writes his compositions on music sheets. When he makes a mistake he erases it and then writes down the right notes. It's as if he al- ready has the music in his head and just needs to get the notes down on paper.