Even if our church grows bigger, won't it just become like all the others? If that's the case, my present happiness rests on dubious ground! What I'd like to hear from you are the concrete goals you have in mind for this church you lead.'
"I think what Guide said in response to this was important.
'"It would be even more fitting,' Guide said, 'if you included the large traditional Buddhist sects, as well as Catholics and Protestant denominations, though we're not planning to imitate any of them. If there's anyone here opti- mistic enough to think that you'll just spend your days leisurely doing re- search, you're very much mistaken.
'"The Savior has communicated many visions that he's had. The majority of you here have heard his sermons and, as they make clear, the Sav- ior has a comprehensive understanding of the end of the world.
'"The Savior's connection with God is personal, as will be ours as we repent. As our church grows more active, though, and as we call for true re- pentance and raise society's consciousness of the end of the world, we'll tran- scend that personal relationship with God. That's the basis of the Savior's teaching. And as for myself, as Prophet, I founded this research center because I wanted to improve the minds of those who were repentant.
'"As the question you've raised indicates, this center has become a solid research facility. It's obvious to me that each researcher here, as a firm believer, has his eyes set on the realistic goals set forth by the Savior. The urgent ques- tion you've raised springs directly from that. I'm happy my efforts haven't been in vain. However, don't close your eyes to the problems inherent in your question, problems that characterize the intellectuals in our church. How should we advance toward our goals? Isn't this a question each person must try to answer individually? In this community you're in now, where you can concentrate on both research and prayer, won't all your individual goals even- tually meld into one? That's my response as Prophet.'
"After this it was my turn, as Savior, to respond, which I did to some incidental questions; the responses I gave are all on these cards Dancer's put- ting together, which summarize the opinions I gave through the course of the discussion.
'"On a very basic level, I'm not the kind of person who can deal with society by myself,' I told them. 'When the visions I have in my trances are translated, though, I am driven by their power to speak out to you all. Those of you gathered here are all quite young, most of you having joined the church after it was already established; the first person who spoke today, I believe, is the son of one of my followers from the earliest days. I preached that one should cut one's worldly ties in order to repent, but when I see a case like this in which the bonds of family lead one to join the church, I stand in awe.
'"I used to live a hermit's life, like someone living in a cave-my own private life, with my own private trances, and private prayers-until the Prophet forced me to face my followers, whose number had swelled to form a real church, and to confront the outside world. However, as the Prophet has often said, my faith rests solely on the foundation of my trances. I have no set notions of the future, or any concrete plan as to how to proceed. That is the truth.
" 'When I am in one of my trances, I'm on the other side. When I'm there I don't have a consciousness of standing in front of it-this only comes after I've awoken and mulled over the experience-but what I come face-to-face with is everything in miniature: past, present, and future, every person, thing, and event. It all forms a glowing structure that I'm standing in front of. I'm led to read and understand this structure by a will moving horizontally and vertically at the speed of light. If you wish to use the word God, then that will is God, that structure itself is God, an understanding I come to only after I've returned.
'"To use a simpler metaphor, it's a book unlike any other, a book within a book, which includes the entire world, the entire universe. I'm on the other side, reading it. This means being conscious of things that transcend the real world, that tie together past and future. Reading this book also means I'm alive in this world, and by living I'm writing new sections of it. If I distance myself even a little, I realize that the words already written in the book, and the new words written in it, are not merely about my own individual inner life. They're not just about my own individual actions, and the limited range of influence these might have in the real world. What I read in that book is the entire past and future of the world-indeed, of the universe-but what happens is that even my own insignificant individual actions, my own pass- ing thoughts, very subtly rewrite the whole. And in this I find evidence that my trifling individual self is one of the saviors of humanity.
'"I think the problem can be summarized this way. All the followers in this church want to take some decisive practical action, with the Prophet and myself leading them. These actions are already written in the book I read in my trances and can be written anew. But I cannot, ahead of time, tell you what they are. When it becomes absolutely necessary for me to speak, when something that transcends us pushes me forward in order to speak, be assured that my vision will take the form of words at the most opportune moment and you'll be the first to know. That time hasn't arrived yet, but it isn't far off.'
"After I finished saying this, the Prophet-for the first time since I met him-swept away the distance he'd always maintained between us. He faced me, gave a slight yet truly heartful bow, and then turned toward the assembled group of hand-picked young people who filled the conference room.
'"Everyone, let us pray! Let us pray! Hallelujah! Let us have faith that even the prayers of the weak and helpless such as ourselves may write one new line in that massive book. And let us all have hope in the Savior's trying task of seeing that in his vision! Let us pray that we may discover what sort of actions are possible for us. Let us await, as we pray, ideas that come to us of our own accord yet are also written in that book. Let us pray for understand- ing. The end of the world is fast approaching. As we repent, what can we do?
What must we do? Let us also pray that through the mediation of the Savior, this massive book on the other side will reveal the actions we must take. In his presence, and relying on him alone, let us pray. Hallelujah!'"
Kizu had never before heard Patron so excited, or speak about Guide being so worked up. As a person getting on in years, Kizu knew that if this excitement infected him as well, later on, retrospectively, it would leave be- hind a quite ambiguous emotion. So he adopted an artist's strategy, taking a step back from his subject and reexamining it.
"Did Guide talk to you before all this about why he put forth such a theory? I'm sure the two of you must have discussed it thoroughly beforehand."
A childish, prankish expression crossed Patron's face. "I think Guide must have been worried that I was going to sidestep those zealous young people. I think he was afraid that at my advanced age I wouldn't have any- thing to say to them and might end up with a few curt words of greeting and call it a day. Looking back on it now, I think the temptation for a Somersault grazed by me at that moment, and Guide must have sensed it."
"I've only spent a short time with him," Kizu said, "but I got the im- pression that he's not the type who opens up to others. On the other hand, when Ikuo expressed an interest in questioning you directly, Guide was kind enough to make the arrangements. Were Guide's sermons always this emotional?"
"I never saw Guide so excited in front of the followers again, though he could be pretty emotional when we talked privately.
"Another issue was raised that day at the research center. One researcher stood up, a naive-looking man but actually one tough customer. 'You keep saying the end of the world is near,' he said, 'and I agree. As the earth's popu- lation increases, human dignity will go down the drain. But how will the world end? As one who quietly awaits this with a repentant heart, I'd be happy if you'd say a few words about how it will end.'