He made sure to be away from home as much as possible, which was wise, because he once found a note from Tim taped to his window and a rose from Jace on his doorstep. Ben decided to go to Houston for the summer and figure out what to do with the rest of his life from there.
First he had to get through the graduation ceremony. Allison agreed to leave after both their names were called. Thankfully Wyman would be one of the last names called, so Tim couldn’t follow them out if he wanted to stay for his diploma. Tim’s calls were coming less frequently, so maybe he had taken the hint.
Ben’s dour mood faded during the ceremony. The stadium overflowed with the energy of new graduates who were both eager and reluctant to start new chapters of their lives. Ben was nervous when his name was called, proud when he took the diploma, and nostalgic on his way down the steps. He cheered when Allison’s name was called, and as soon as she received her diploma and left the stage, together they ran for the parking lot.
He saw Jace by the entrance, looking for him, but the exit was far enough away that they could escape without him noticing.
“Jace!” Allison shouted.
Ben stared in disbelief of her betrayal.
“It’s for your own good,” she said and smiled. “I’m going back to party.”
She left him there as Jace strutted over, looking sharp in his well-cut suit and holding a bouquet of roses. Ben wanted to say something meaningful, to apologize or simply say his name, but instead he started to cry.
Jace kissed him, and Ben kissed back, even though he knew he had no right. He blubbered embarrassingly until he finally managed to ask Jace to take him home.
“I thought I’d take you out to eat?” Jace suggested.
Ben shook his head as another wave of tears hit him. “I want to go home,” he said.
Jace made small talk in the car, and Ben did his best to respond, but it was hard. He wanted to be selfish and pretend that he hadn’t done what he had, but he couldn’t. Jace deserved to know the truth, even though it would mean the end of everything.
“I meant my home,” Ben said as they pulled in Jace’s apartment complex.
“I know what you meant,” Jace replied gently.
Ben felt as if he was saying good-bye to everything as he entered the apartment. He knew when he stroked Samson, it would be for the last time, and he couldn’t bear to think of all the other things he was about to lose. He had to tell Jace now while he still had the courage.
“I was with Tim. We slept together.”
Jace’s face was strained. “I figured. Got it all out of your system now?”
Ben nodded.
“Good.” Jace slipped out of his shoes and started working on his tie. Wasn’t he going to take Ben home? Or maybe he was expected to walk back.
“Don’t you want to get out of that doofy robe?” Jace asked.
“I don’t understand.”
Jace sighed. “My love for you doesn’t stop just because you make a stupid mistake. An extremely stupid mistake, I might add. I love you, and if you promise to trust my word in the future, then I’ll trust you again, too.”
The strange combination of laughter and tears and relief overtook Ben. Jace helped him out of his robe, took off his own jacket, and led him to the bedroom. Ben crawled into bed and Jace got in behind him, spooning himself against Ben’s back. They lay there for hours, taking turns holding each other while Samson purred contentedly at their feet.
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Part Three:
Austin, 2003
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Chapter 26
Falling in love is a subtle process, a connection sparked by attraction, tested by compatibility, and forged by memory. In this same manner, Austin had became a part of Ben and Jace’s life. They had dined in Austin’s restaurants, danced in its clubs, and lazed away more than one afternoon in its parks. Austin had everything they needed, and moving would mean leaving behind the backdrop to both good and bad times. Ben and Jace had fallen in love with Austin, and found, quite by surprise, that they were already home.
Allison was staying, too. She plunged into her career, not even taking a summer break. She got a job at a local shelter for teenage runaways, apprenticing at a mental health hospital in her spare time. There she met the man she would marry. Brian was a struggling alcoholic, and proving how strange love could be, Allison found everything she was looking for in him.
Ben didn’t have such instant success. He took most of the summer off, travelling occasionally with Jace and seeing brief glimpses of the country. He spent one month at his parents’ house, the first proper visit with his family since he left for college. When he returned to Austin, he worked as a temp for a year, still uncertain of what he wanted to do.
Allison suggested a position at the hospital where she now worked. A part-time job as a speech therapist had opened there. Allison had enough influence that he didn’t even need to interview. Ben took the position to get away from menial temp work, and almost instantly found the job rewarding.
His clients were varied, to say the least. Some were accident victims who had lost their ability to speak due to physical or mental traumas. Others were stroke survivors, and occasionally he worked with children born with speech impediments. Ben enjoyed breaking the words apart to reshape and customize for each individual to say. For the first time in his life, he felt like he was doing something worthwhile.
Never one to leave things half-done, Allison found him another job to occupy the rest of his time. Brian, who by now had been sober for almost two years, was also part-owner of a dinner theater. There, a play featuring a few musical numbers was scheduled. Unlike speech therapy, Ben did not easily warm to this idea. He had no dramatic training and little urge to perform for an audience he imagined as a sea of bald and blue-haired heads.
He was certain he would turn down the opportunity, but then Jace switched to the international routes he had always wanted. Ben was happy for him but knew this meant even more time spent apart. Deciding it would help keep him occupied, Ben accepted a small role at the dinner theater. His first part only had a few speaking lines and one song; he was playing a poor street urchin who loses his life to the cold, harsh winter.
Everything changed the first night he stepped out onto stage. The magic of theater turned him into that urchin, and he sang with his entire soul. He received a standing ovation, and continued to with every performance. He never would have thought it possible, but he had fallen in love with theater and eagerly took on larger roles.
In what would have been spring break if he was still in college, four years after they had met, Ben and Jace went to Paris. They both knew what this meant, and the air was thick with anticipation as they both waited for the proposal. The moment came when Jace proposed to Ben during a breakfast in bed. He had hidden the ring in a French croissant, which made Ben laugh so hard that he almost couldn’t say yes.