Ben glanced over at him. “And that’s how you found me?”
“Well, that and some Google-powered stalking.”
Tim still lived in the same architectural mess as before, but the driveway was overflowing with cars. None of then were sporty enough to belong to Tim. Heavy bass pounded from the house, accompanied by a babble of voices. A forlorn howl occasionally cried out above the din.
“I told him not to leave her out back,” Tim complained as they got out of the car. “She hates being alone at night.”
“Chinchilla?”
“Yeah.” Tim smiled. “Come on. She’ll be glad to see you.”
Ben didn’t expect Chinchilla to remember him, but her whole butt wagged at turbo speed when she saw him. The puppy Ben had once known was gone, replaced by a stout dog who was all smiles as Tim kissed and pet her. Her leash was tangled around a tree, Tim casting angry glances toward the house as he unclipped the line from her collar.
“This happens almost nightly,” he muttered.
“I don’t mean to state the obvious,” Ben said, “but why don’t you just break up with him? I know, I know, you said the sex is really great, but things are only going to get worse.”
“You’re right, but I don’t know how. You heard him last night. He always threatens to kill himself. The night he overdosed was because I suggested taking a break.”
Ben thought about this while squatting next to Chinchilla and rubbing her belly. “Here’s what we’ll do. You send Ryan on a trip, a long one, somewhere in Europe. Tell him it’s your way of apologizing. While he’s gone you sell the house and move somewhere new. When he comes back you never contact him and he won’t be able to find you.”
“Think so?”
“Yeah. You guys will get some distance between you and things will cool off. Not only that, but wherever you send him, make sure it’s a gay resort.” Ben chuckled. “Or hire an escort to pick him up from the airport. He’s young and hot. I’m sure someone will snatch him up soon. Then he’ll be somebody else’s problem instead of yours.”
Tim laughed. “You know, that’s just crazy enough that it might work.”
Ben laughed too, but he knew that this wasn’t the solution. Tim had put up with Ryan for so long because of more than just his suicidal threats. There was emotion there, no matter how unhealthy it was.
Glass shattered inside the house. Judging from the way the music grew louder, most likely a window had been broken. There was a brief chorus of laughter before the party continued raging.
“All right,” Ben sighed as he stood. “Time for me to make everything better. Come on.”
If Ben had felt old when meeting Ryan, he felt positively ancient as he navigated a sea of intoxicated teenagers. With Tim in tow, he felt like they were a pair of angry parents who had come home early from their vacation. A few recognized Tim, but their expressions were amused rather than ashamed, even those who were still laughing over the broken window and the potted plant that had been thrown through it. They had no respect for Tim, and that made Ben all the more incensed.
Once he had battled his way to the living room, stepping over a pile of puke on the way, Ben ripped the heart of the party out by unplugging the stereo. A number of loud complaints followed, but one was louder than the others.
“What the hell is he doing here?”
The crowd parted for Ryan, whose skin was pale and sweaty. From the way his pupils were dilated, it was safe to assume he was on something.
“I’m here with my boyfriend,” Ben said, reaching over to take Tim’s hand.
Ryan barred his teeth like an animal. Ben had never seen anyone actually do that, but Ryan’s fury was so intense he was shaking. He shouted something unintelligible that might have been “I’ll kill you!” before charging toward them. Tim tensed up, ready to defend Ben, which would only escalate into violence. Ben didn’t want that, so he placed a hand on Tim’s face and turned it toward him.
And then Ben kissed him.
His newly discovered acting skills weren’t needed for this. As it had always been, the emotions he felt for Tim weren’t far below the surface. From the way Tim reacted, he felt the same way. The room went silent as every person there witnessed a kiss worthy of the big screen. The silence was broken when Ryan began sobbing.
Ben pulled away from Tim and saw the pain on Ryan’s face. The kiss had convinced Ryan that Ben and Tim were in love, and the kid was too young and stupid to realize that Tim also loved him, that emotions like these never went away completely. Ben felt sorry for him, but he didn’t dare show that now.
“I’m moving in,” Ben said. “Tim asked me to. You are leaving and never coming back. All of you,” he said loud enough to be heard.
Nobody moved.
“I called the cops.”
People began to stir.
“And they are bringing drug dogs.”
That did it. The party goers fled, and within minutes, everyone was gone except Ryan, who was beginning to tremble with anger again.
“I’ll kill myself,” he said. “I swear to God I will.”
Ben opened his mouth to retort, but it was Tim who spoke.
“No, you won’t, Ryan. I know you won’t, because you’re too much of a coward. You’ve been running away since the day I met you, away from your family’s disapproval, away from the one person who loves you, but most of all you’ve been trying to escape from yourself. I was once that cowardly, and you still are.”
“I overdosed!” Ryan reminded him.
“And I was there holding your hand in the hospital as they pumped your stomach. When I told you that you almost died, you cried. I thought there was still hope for you then, but I’ve seen you almost overdose every night since. I don’t know how to fix you, Ryan, I wish I did, but it’s not going to be my money that helps destroy you. Not anymore.”
Ryan tried to argue further, but Tim wouldn’t have it. Ben stepped back and let him deal with everything as Ryan unwillingly packed his bags. Tim called a taxi to take him home, and Ryan began to beg, but Tim stood strong. Only after the taxi turned down the street did Tim’s shoulders slump.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” Tim answered, throwing his full weight into a hug that almost knocked Ben off his feet. “You always know how to make things right,” he murmured into Ben’s neck. “I’m a mess without you.”
“I’m awesome, I know,” Ben said, detangling himself. “I’m also in trouble. Jace is going to give me hell when he finds out I kissed you, no matter what the reason. You are going to make all my suffering worth it by never seeing Ryan again, aren’t you?”
Tim nodded. “Since you’re going to be in trouble anyway--”
He stepped close, but Ben pushed him away and they both began laughing. Face lit up with a smile, Tim looked more like his old self again.
* * * * *
What should have followed, Ben felt, was a long-lasting relationship that finally allowed them to be friends. This utopia did exist for a brief moment. They saw each other regularly, Jace often joining them, and things were simple. But then the feelings between them began to stir. They both felt it. Sometimes their gazes locked for too long; other times they found excuses to be closer to each other than necessary. Hugs became too intimate, Ben breathing in his scent or Tim rubbing his nose lovingly against his neck.
The decision was hard to make, but it had to be done. Ben showed up at his door in the middle of the night. Tim was sitting on the front steps, as if he had been expecting him.
“You’re either here to do something that you really shouldn’t,” Tim said, “or you came to say good-bye.”