"So, have you managed to settle things with your little girlfriend?" she sez, shooting a glance over at Spyder's back, as that individual has chosen to walk away as Pookie approached.
Now havin' just played this scene with Spyder, I am in no mood to treat such banter lightly.
"Pookie," I sez, "meanin' no disrespect to your age, the exact numbers of which you have not chosen to share, I must ask if you can still recall bein' young?"
This earns me a sideways glance and a pause before she responds.
"It's a stretch," she sez, "but I think I have some dim recollection of those days."
"In that case," I sez, "you might recall how it was when you was first getting started in the rough-and-tumble business. However cocky you might have been at the time, there was always a strong undercurrent of insecurity. The funny thing was, even more than wonderin' how you would match up against the opposition when the crunch went down, you was worried about fittin' in with those who were on your own side. To my estimation, that is what is goin' on with our young colleague over there."
"Hmrn. Interesting point," Pookie sez, nodding slowly. "You know, Guido, you're a lot more sensitive and perceptive than you let on."
"To answer your question, however," I sez, ignorin' the compliment as I have never been good at acceptin' them, "Spyder did ask me about your role in our expedition. What I told her was that rather than viewin' you as a rival, that she would be better off puttin' her jealousies and insecurities aside and learnin' from you, as you are obviously a professional who would never let such things affect your actions or judgments."
"Ouch," Pookie sez with a grimace. "Okay, Guido. You've made your point. I'll pull in my claws and take the little darling under my wing ... to mix a metaphor."
"Good," I sez. "That will probably make this caper much easier on all of us."
"Speaking of that," Pookie sez, "can you give me a bit more input as to exactly what it is we're doing? I've been in a lot of different kinds of action, but a tax investigator or a royal envoy is a new one to me."
"Actually," I sez, "this is not a bad time for us to go over that together. Hey, Spyder!"
When she looks over, I beckon for her to join us.
"We were just talkin' about how this might be a good time to go over how we are goin' to approach this caper," I explain.
"Now, as I see it, we are supposed to be checkin' out what, if any, plots are bein' hatched against the Boss and either neutralize them or report back to the team to plan some counter-measures."
"That's the plan as I understand it," Spyder sez with a shrug. "Since most of the rumors we've gotten have come from the Army types who have been reassigned as tax collectors, we're going to try to intercept them at one of their rendezvous points and interview them to find out exactly what's going on. Depending on what we hear, we'll make our plans from there."
"Right," I sez. "The rendezvous point we are headin' for right now is the one for the tax teams workin' the population centers closest to the palace. The theory there bein' that those areas pose the most immediate-type threat to the Boss."
"Okay. I understand all that," Pookie sez. "I guess my question is, how do we play it? Are we the velvet glove or the iron fist?"
"That is indeed going to be the tricky part," I sez. "On the one hand we want to put a stop to any foolishness which might be in the makin', but on the other hand we have got to be careful that we do not inadvertently stir up more trouble than we are quellin'. Again, we will just have to wait and see who and what it is we are up against."
"Well, we aren't going to find out sitting around here," Spyder sez. "I guess it's time for us to get moving again. Ummm ... Pookie? Can I talk with you for a bit? I've got some questions about your disguise spell."
"Sure, kid," Pookie sez. "Whatever you want to know."
I wait for a while, curious about what it is they are goin' to say, but then I realize they are both starin' at me. Takin' the hint, I get up and start along the trail again. They give me a bit of a lead, then follow along, just out of earshot.
As much as I had encouraged them both to talk to each other, I find this arrangement to be a bit annoyin', as it leaves me with no one to talk to except myself. Then, as the sound of both of them laughin' reaches me, I begin to contemplate which is worse: Travelin' with two women who do not get along, or travelin' with two women who do.
FIVE
I am forced to admit that the balance of our journey to the rendezvous point was one of the more interestin' trips I have ever partaken of.
Most of this arose from Spyder's interest in Pookie's disguise spellin' abilities. This interest took the form not only of questions as to the extent and limitations of said spell, but numerous requests for demonstrations of the same.
From what I managed to overhear, it seems that much of Spyder's personality evolved as a direct result of her appearance. That is to say, she was always a skinny tomboy type that no one took seriously as a girl. Bein' faced with such overwhelmin' evidence that she had no chance to compete in the feminine games, she naturally took up the tough-babe mannerisms as it was the only outlet for her previously mentioned competitive streak. Now, already well into her formative years, all that had changed with her discovery of disguise spells.
As we made our way along, Pookie showed off her magical prowess by providin' Spyder with a seeming endless array of different body types and outfits ... "new looks," as she referred to them. What is more, each new look included a certain amount of coachin' as to how to move and act to make said look believable. This provided them both with hours of amusement as they huddled and giggled together, happy as a pair of defendants in front of a bought jury. Spyder was havin' the time of her life playin' at bein' various types of broads, and Pookie was takin' advantage of a rare opportunity to play dress-up with a real live doll.
I myself did not take part in these festivities. In fact, any effort on my part to offer input or opinions was firmly discouraged, rejected by a series of glares and eye-rollin's along with various snorts and murmured comments in which "men" seemed to be the main derogatory word employed.
Even though, as everyone knows, I am a sensitive soul who enjoys social-type interaction, this exclusion does not bother me over much. In fact after a while, it becomes rather enjoyable watchin' the two of them at play.
For one thing, as I have noted before, neither one of them is particularly hard on the eyes, especially not in some of the outfits that Pookie is tryin' on Spyder, most of which display considerably more of her anatomy than has previously been my privilege to view.
Then, too, I have other things with which to occupy my mind. You see, with all this contemplative time at my disposal, I have been able to consider from many angles the situational into which we are walkin'. While, despite my considerable experience on the subject, I do not pretend to know women as well as women do, on the other hand, I do know men.
What we are effectively going to do when we reach the rendezvous is to walk in on a pack of workin' men and assert ourselves as authority types, requirin' that they explain themselves and their actions to us for our analysis and approval. This in itself is not a situation designed to endear ourselves to the individuals under examination, as they tend to automatically resent any outsider tryin' to tell them how to do their jobs. On top of this, the main authority type, our Royal Investigator, is a female type who is currently workin' overtime learnin' how to be cute and cuddly.
Now, I am not one who refuses or resents havin' to accept female types in authority roles, and I do not defend those backward thinkin' members of my gender who do. The actualities of the world, however, require the acknowledgement that those types do exist, and, from my observations during my limited time in the ranks, seem to make up a majority of the Army types like those we are on our way to question.