She knew the answer as she asked the question. Josif had been making love to Mikal's Songbird. Even the emperor had not made love to Mikal's Songbird. Josif had had what the emperor had not even asked for. But had he wanted it? Was that the reason for his anger and delay?
He is innocent, Ansset said slowly, but danger crept into his voice. I want to see him.
Is this Josif all you can think of? asked Riktors. There was a time when you would have sung for me first. When you would have come to me full of songs.
Ansset said nothing.
Two years! cried Riktors, the emotion taking control of his voice, hi two years, you haven't visited, you haven't tried to visit!
I didn't think you'd want me.
Want you, said Riktors, getting some of his dignity back. Ever since I came here, this place was full of your music. And then gone. For two years, silence. And the babble of fools. Sing for me, Ansset,
And Ansset was silent,
Riktors watched him, and Kyaren realized this was the price that Riktors expected to be paid. A song in exchange for Josif's freedom. A cheap price, if only Ansset still had any songs in him. And Riktors didn't know. How could he not have known?
Sing for me, Ansset! Riktors cried.
He can't, Kyaren answered. She glanced at Ansset, but he was standing quietly, regarding Riktors impassively. Control. Just another thing that she had been unable to master in the Songhouse.
What do you mean, he can't? asked Riktors.
I mean that he's lost his songs. He hasn't sung anything, not since he left you. Not since you--
Not since I what? He dared her to go on, dared her to condemn him.
Not since you locked him in Mikal's rooms for a month. She dared.
He can't lose his songs, Riktors said. He was trained since he was three.
He can and he did. Don't you realize? He doesn't learn songs. He learns how to discover them. Inside himself, and bring them out to the surface. Do you think he memorized them all, and chose the right one for the proper occasion? They came from his soul, and you broke him, and now he can't find them anymore. Her anger surprised her. She had listened sympathetically to Ansset. It had never occurred to her how much she had come to hate Riktors for Ansset's sake. Which was odd, for Ansset had never even hinted at hatred for Riktors. Only hurt.
Riktors seemed not to notice the impertinence of her tone. He only looked wonderingly at Ansset. Is it true?
Ansset nodded.
Riktors dropped his head into his hands, which rested on the arms of the throne. What have I done, he said. His hands twisted in his hair.
He really grieves for Ansset's loss, Kyaren thought, and realized that despite all he had done to hurt Ansset, he still loved him. And so, fumblingly, she offered some words to assuage the blow that had just struck him. It wasn't just you, she said. It was the Songhouse, really. What the Songhouse did. Cutting him off here. You don't know what the Songhouse means to-to people like him. She had almost said us. I knew they were bastards there, who didn't care for any of us, but they get chains on you and never let go.
Beside her, Ansset was shaking his head.
It's true, Ansset. It was bad enough for them to strand you here without warning, but when they didn't even prepare you for-what happened, what the drugs would do to you-- She didn't finish. She merely turned to Riktors, who did not seem to be listening, and said, It's the Songhouse that hurt him most.
He did hear. He sat up, and looked much relieved, though there was still tension in him, even for Kyaren to see, who did not know him.
Yes, he said. It's the Songhouse that hurt him most."
Suddenly Ansset stepped forward, toward the throne. He was angry. Kyaren was surprised-she had been the one speaking, and yet he seemed angry at Riktors.
That was a lie, Ansset said.
Riktors only looked at him, startled.
I know your voice, Riktors, know it as well as I know my own, and that was a lie, and not just a small one, Riktors, that was a lie that matters to you right to the core and I want to know why it's a lie!
Riktors did not answer. But after a few moments he looked away from Ansset, glanced toward Ferret, who immediately came forward.
Stay where you are! Ansset commanded, and Ferret, surprised by the ferocity of his voice, obeyed. Ansset spoke again to Riktors. It was not the Songhouse that hurt me most, then?
Riktors shook his head.
Where is the lie, Riktors? I was cut off from the Songhouse, and that has cost me more than any other loss I have ever sustained, even the loss of Mikal, even the loss of your friendship. And you say that it was not the Song-house that hurt me most? Who was it, then? Who was it who cut me off from them?
Again Riktors appealed to Ferret. He's dangerous, Ferret.
Ferret shook his head. When he plans to attack you, I'll know it.
It was obvious to Kyaren that Riktors did not share his confidence. But any pity or understanding she had had for the man was gone now; yet she found it hard to believe that anyone could have been so cruel as Riktors was. It was all a lie, then, she said into the silence. The Songhouse didn't refuse him. The Songhouse wanted him back.
Riktors said nothing.
You were clever, Ansset said to him. In all our conversation, that last day, you never once told me a lie. Not once. And I thought all your tension was because you were sad to see me go.
Riktors spoke at last, his voice husky. I was sad to see you go.
Anywhere. To anyone. I was yours, is that it? I had to love you most, is that it? If I thought of the Songhouse as home, you couldn't bear that, could you? If I loved the Songhouse more than I loved this palace, then you'd take the Songhouse away from me, wouldn't you? Only you had to twist it, so I'd hate them in the process, and not you at all. You couldn't have me hate you.
The words seemed to slam visibly into Riktors, and he gasped at the end of Ansset's speech. Ansset may have no songs, but his voice was still a potent tool, and be was using it to savage Riktors.
I wanted your songs, Riktors said.
You wanted my songs, Ansset answered, bitterly, more than you wanted my happiness. So you took my happiness, and stole my songs.
And then Kyaren made a connection in her mind, and realized that Riktors was not holding Josif ransom against a song.
Ansset, Kyaren said. Josif.
Ansset remembered, and the mask of Control appeared again on his face. Time enough for hatred when Josif was free.
I want Josif. Now, Ansset said.
No, Riktors said.
Aren't you through? Ansset asked. Do you think you can still save something? Or are you determined that if you can't have my love-and you can't, Riktors, you can't-then no one can. If you ever loved me, Riktors, you will let me have Josif. Now.
You can't, Riktors, you can't.
If you ever loved me, Riktors.
The words struck Riktors hard; his face worked, though whether with anger or grief Kyaren couldn't tell.
Call a guard, Riktors said.
No, Ferret said.
Riktors arose from his throne. Call a guard! he roared, and the ferret left, returning a moment later with two guards.
Take them to the prisoner. To Josif.
The guards looked at each other, then at Ferret, who nodded and whispered something. The guards looked doubtful, but they led the way. Ansset and Kyaren followed.
He won't do anything to us, will he? Kyaren whispered.
Ansset shook his head. Riktors will never hurt me directly, or you, as long as you're with me. And as long as you're with me, no one can take you away. She looked at his face. Control was lagging. She saw the killer there, and was afraid. This should never have happened to Ansset, none of this.