The cloth-like shield glowed all around me. Not at all as vibrant as when Robert helped me, but it was there. I smiled. I was really doing this. This was real. I looked at Robert, my smile still in place as the shimmering light faded around me.
I tried twice more to produce the shield but both times nothing happened. Feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me, I sat down next to Robert on the couch.
“Why can’t I do it anymore?” I asked, near panting as I caught my breath.
“It takes a lot of energy to use your Magic. It’ll get easier with time. You’ll build up your strength but for now you did amazing,” Robert said, beaming.
Robert’s eyes held mine and I let myself fall into their warm, russet depths. He had accomplished the impossible; he had helped me believe in the Magical world and he couldn’t be happier. I let the moment linger on a little longer and then tore myself away from his warmth and happiness.
Despite being absolutely spent, I sighed with wonderful relief. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me, the anxiety and torment that had been living inside me was gone. I wondered if that was what my aunt meant when she said it went against our nature to abstain from Magic. Had the unused Magic inside me caused my anxiety? I let my head fall back and gave myself over to my senses. The raw, ancient hunger that had been gnawing at me flickered with satisfaction deep at my core.
“Huh,” I said.
“What are you thinking?” Robert asked.
I sat up and pulled a pillow into my lap. “Have you ever gone a long period of time without using Magic?”
“No, why?”
“It’s just something my aunt said.”
“Care to enlighten me?”
“She said that it goes against our nature not to use Magic.”
“That’s true. Using Magic is like breathing for us. It just happens naturally, sometimes without thinking.”
“Well I was wondering, if our souls became a part of each other the night you saved me, then I’ve gone quite a long time without using Magic.”
“And what exactly were you wondering?” he asked.
“I was wondering…” I rolled my head his direction. “If that’s why I've been so anxious lately, because the Magic was building up inside me.”
“It’s possible, but you’ve been having visions since that night, right?”
“Yes,” I said, furrowing my brow, unsure where this train of thought would take him.
“When you had the visions, were you emotional in any way?” he asked, picking up on my mood.
I thought back over all the times I’d had visions, of the future, the past. I guessed my emotions were heightened somewhat in those moments. Whenever I thought about the night I was attacked I seemed to get sucked back into that moment. And then there were the couple times Robert’s touch had sent my heart into overdrive, which resulted in my seeing that kiss I so desperately wanted.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” I finally replied.
“Well, that’s probably why you had the visions. Your Magic had been building up inside you and when you were in an emotional state the Magic bubbled over and resulted in your visions,” Robert explained.
“Hmm, I guess this isn’t an exact science is it?” I laughed.
“No, it’s not.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“And what might you be thanking me for?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Everything. You’ve been so patient and understanding.”
“You’re worth it.” Robert winked and nudged me with his elbow.
I smiled and didn’t try to hide the blush rushing to my cheeks. “We should probably head over to Becky’s soon.”
“You don’t mind me tagging along?”
“No. Besides, who’s going to save me from Becky’s twenty questions if you’re not there,” I said with a laugh.
Robert gave me a hesitant look. “I don’t want to impose.”
“It’ll be good for both of us to do something fun and easy,” I said and stood from the couch.
“Alright, I’m in.”
I did a quick freshening up and we were off. Dusk had finally arrived and a damp chill clung to the air as the marine layer moved in. I placed an order with this little hole-in-the-wall Chinese place Becky and I both loved and swung by the store to pick up a few bottles of wine. Robert and I discussed the link between my emotions and my visions more as we drove to Becky’s but we didn’t come up with anything more enlightening.
We pulled up to Becky’s house about an hour after leaving my place and headed inside. Becky wasn’t home yet but Aaron let us in. We popped open a bottle of wine as soon as the introductions were through and sat in the living room to wait for Becky. Robert had a way with people, and he and Aaron chatted like they’d known each other their whole lives. I’d normally have been much more a part of the conversation but I was exhausted and they started talking about the stock market, which was something I knew nothing about.
I got up to pour myself another glass when Becky came through the front door.
“Hey,” I said, heading to the kitchen.
“Hey, hope I didn’t keep you guys waiting too long.” She plopped her stuff down on the floor and followed me into the kitchen.
“Not at all.”
“I see you brought Robert with you,” Becky said, giving me a meaningful eyebrow raise.
“I believe it was you who invited him,” I noted as I filled my glass.
Becky smiled and pulled a glass from the cabinet for herself. “It was the polite thing to do.” She went about making herself a cocktail, pouring vodka and a whole collection of colorful bottles together to make something she claimed tasted just like a cherry Jolly Rancher.
“Uh huh,” I said, appraising her bartending abilities.
“Hey, you could have gotten out of it if you wanted.”
“True,” I said into my wine glass.
“You look tired, how are you?” Becky finished pouring her cocktail and clinked her glass against mine.
“I’m okay, it’s just been a long week.”
“Any more news about your parents?” She threw the take-out containers in the microwave.
“No, nothing new.”
“I still can’t believe it. All these years you thought it was a car accident.”
“I know, but my aunt did what they thought was right. They were gone no matter what. It was better for me to grow up thinking it was an accident.”
“You really think so?” Becky asked, frowning as she sipped her drink.
I knew so. The image of my parents flashed through my head. I had been furious at my aunt for altering my memories, but the more time I spent with the truth the more I realized it was the right thing to do.
“Yeah,” I concluded. “I don’t think I’d have been able to handle this as a kid.”
The guys laughed in the other room and drew our attention.
“They seem to be getting along,” Becky announced. She was always the best at changing the subject.
“They haven’t come up for air once,” I joked and took a healthy sip of wine.
I pulled some plates down for dinner and Becky took the food out of the microwave, setting it on the counter.
“Hey, chatty Kathies, let’s eat!” Becky yelled to the guys.
Both men stood up without acknowledging Becky and came into the kitchen to help with dinner.
Robert and Aaron poured themselves another glass of wine and Aaron grabbed a few of the cartons off the counter. I started grabbing the stack of plates when Robert stopped me.
“Allow me,” he said with a small smile.
“Thanks,” I replied as I grabbed the remaining containers.