Peggy was almost in tears. I think even I knew dating Lisa was wrong. I’d heard all the rumors. I didn’t believe them all, but where there was smoke there was usually fire. Was it a cop-out?
Peggy knew if I went quiet I needed to think it through. She respected me and let me decide. I think my knee-jerk reaction was I wanted to date Lisa. I knew I could stand up to everyone and get away with it. The question was, just because I could, should I?
Part of being a leader was to act like one. Lisa Felton had an animal magnetism that drew me to her. Would I honestly take the relationship past just sex? That was the real question. Don’t for one minute think I wouldn’t do something just for sex—I was a teenage boy, after all, with hormones coursing through my body. Hell, I got a hard-on several times a day. Lisa Felton was one of the causes of the swelling.
What I needed to think about was if I dated Lisa Felton, would it in some way hurt the people around me? According to Peggy, it would. Last year Cindy, Beth, Suzanne and Eve all agreed it would. Even Tami had made not-so-veiled threats to me if I dated her. If all the women I cared about felt so strongly about me not dating her, shouldn’t I listen?
Then again there was the whole teenage-boy-wanting-hot-monkey-sex thing.
I think Peggy could read my mind. It could have also been the bulge in my pants that would grow and then go down.
“David, if this was just about sex, I would say you should go for it, but I just think you’re better than this. I know you work very hard not to tarnish your public image. I think you also care what your friends think. I’d hate for either to be hurt because you needed to get laid. I’d also be shocked if you couldn’t arrange to get laid by a number of friends with just a phone call.”
I picked up my phone and dialed a number. Peggy heard her phone ring and looked at it. I grinned at her and she got a serious look on her face.
“Do you really want to sleep with me?” she asked.
I couldn’t read her expression. Did I want to sleep with her? The honest answer was no, not if she was going to save her virtue until she was married. If she wanted to just have no-strings-attached sex, then yes.
“That depends on you,” I said.
I started to feel guilty because I knew Peggy had just started a relationship with Mitch. Even though I thought Mitch was a jerk, I thought enough of Peggy to not put her into that position.
“I’m sorry. I should have never asked. I hope this hasn’t hurt our friendship,” I said.
“And there you go making me love you even more. I’m not stupid. I was surprised you never pushed me to go beyond where I put our boundaries. I also know you wanted more, but you put my feelings before yours. I’m sure if you’d wanted to, you could have convinced me. That’s something I’ll always appreciate about you. Just so you know, you asking made me very happy.”
“Okay, I’ll call Lisa and tell her we aren’t going out,” I said.
Even though I had gone along with what Peggy wanted, I didn’t feel like I’d caved. I’d thought it through and agreed with her. Something else I’d been holding off on was Pam. I thought the two of us could date until the end of the year and be happy. When Tami came home, I would play it by ear. If the spark was still there, then it was an easy decision. Tami had always been the one.
PEGGY STAYED FOR DINNER. Kendal saw the way I looked at her and suddenly had to be somewhere else. After dinner, I went up to my apartment with Duke to study. I wasn’t able to concentrate because I had to have a talk with Lisa. I finally gave up and called her.
“This is a surprise. Can’t wait until Friday to talk to me?” Lisa answered.
Obviously, she’d looked at her phone.
“Yeah, about that ...” I started.
“Seriously?! What do I have to do to get you to take me out?” Lisa ranted. “Don’t tell me, your friends think it’s a bad idea.”
“Did you know we’re related?” I asked.
“Technically, yes, but what does that have to do with it?”
“I just thought I’d throw it out there.”
“David, just man up. Tell me we’re never getting together and I don’t need to chase after you ever again. Don’t keep making me hope. Please, just tell me,” Lisa said as she started to cry.
I felt like the biggest dick. I really did like Lisa as a person and this just wasn’t fair to her. She’d never done anything to me to deserve this.
“Lisa, you’re right. I haven’t been fair to you, and for that I’m deeply sorry. I’ll understand if you never want to talk to me again, I really will. Just know I consider you a friend. If you ever need anything, I mean it, anything, call me. You’re right, though. We’ll never get together, or be more than just friends,” I confessed.
She hung up on me. I guess I deserved that.
Chapter 7 – Confession is Good for the Soul
Friday February 13
Ever do something you knew was wrong, but you couldn’t stop yourself? I knew it wasn’t right. I knew there was a special place in Hell for me, but I didn’t care. I knew when I was doing it I would regret it in the morning. Everyone told me not to. I’m so weak. What did I do?
They say confession is good for the soul. Let me tell you what happened.
FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH. My Grandpa Dawson died on Friday the thirteenth. My mom wasn’t normally a superstitious woman, but she always warned me to be extra careful whenever that day came up. For me, it was a doubly weird day. I was without a date on a Friday night. Better yet, tomorrow was Valentine’s Day and I was visiting a sick friend.
Who would have guessed it? Not me. I had a date planned for Friday night, but I’d broken it off. Lisa Felton had skipped school the last two days. I felt awful for how I’d made her feel. It wasn’t like me to hurt someone. I talked to Tami, and she told me it would have been worse if I’d gone out with Lisa only to dump her. The unsaid part of it was Lisa and I would have slept together. I’ve always said sex changed things. By her reaction when I broke our date it was clear she had deeper feelings for me than she wanted to admit.
So here I sat on a Friday night with my trusted puppy to keep my company. He thought it was great I would sit home and watch a DVD while I rubbed his ears. I’d gotten last year’s Transformers movie from a Red Box. It was one of the worst movies I’d ever seen. Mark Wahlberg’s character was a joke. Normally I like him in movies, but they had him say crap I couldn’t believe he let them film. They’d turned him into a cartoon character.
I’d gotten to the part of the movie where they suddenly had dinosaur transformers. Oh my, that was when I realized I was about ten years too old to watch this. It had to be written for six-year-olds. I was relieved when I heard someone knock at my door. It couldn’t be any of my friends. They all somehow knew the code to get in.
I ran downstairs and found Lisa Felton, who looked pissed. Suddenly the movie looked a little better. My buddy Duke decided he needed to go out.
“Come on in. I need to round up my pup. There are sodas in the fridge,” I told her as she pushed past me.
I admit I let Duke explore the county before I went back up. He ran up ahead of me and I came upstairs to find a happy boy in Lisa’s lap, kissing her. Puppy kisses will put anyone into a good mood. Lisa smiled and rubbed his tummy. I think Duke had another fan.
I picked up Duke and put him in his crate and then turned to face the music.
“I’ve been thinking about us for the last two days. I can see now we’re never getting together. My problem is I can’t get you out of my head. I need closure,” Lisa told me.
“Whatever you need, I’ll help,” I said.
I understand why girls think guys are stupid. Well, not stupid, just clueless. As soon as I said it, I knew I couldn’t unsay it. ‘Whatever you need’ caused Lisa to get a smile on her face. She stood up and dropped her coat from her shoulders. I just looked at her from my recliner and tried to figure out what she was up to.