I MET KENDAL AND ADRIENNE at the Chicago Yacht Club. We were doing a print ad for a new men’s cologne called ‘Sea Mist.’ The photographer wanted to get shots of the Chicago skyline from the deck of a sailboat. I was excited about going sailing until they had me stand on the bow and we slammed down, causing a spray of Lake Michigan water to soak me—it was really cold. Our photographer thought I looked great as we headed directly into the waves so we could maximize the amount of water the boat would send flying as it cut through the chop.
When my lips turned blue, they finally let me go below decks to warm up. What a mistake that was. I was fine until I couldn’t see the horizon anymore. The boat was rocking, and I closed my eyes only for a moment. I had never experienced seasickness before. I thought it was just something made up. How could you get sick from the motion of a boat? It felt like my inner ear was completely off, causing me to be dizzy. I felt my stomach warble a little song of distress, which had me concerned. I decided I might want to get myself to the head before I had an accident.
I think the bathroom was smaller than one you find on an airplane because my shoulders actually touched the walls on each side. The boat swayed in unpredictable directions and I started to feel claustrophobic in my confined space. I felt bile creep up my throat and my mouth suddenly filled with saliva. Neither was a good sign. I began to giggle at the absurdity of it all. Adrienne had talked me into doing higher-paying gigs. If I had stuck with working with Mr. Hill, I would be in a nice warm studio right now. Instead, I was trying to keep from gagging as I went into shock from hypothermia.
I’ll remember the next few moments for the rest of my life. I heard our Captain call out, “Coming about!” and the boat suddenly tilted to the side and we slammed into a wave at the same time. I felt like I was on the set of Star Academy as our spaceship was rocked. I stumbled as my stomach had finally had enough. I threw up so hard I shot spaghetti out of my nose! That might have been fine, but I was spewing vomit like a bad Monte Python skit. I was hearing the famous phrase the waiter uttered before the customer had exploded.
Somehow, my stomach managed to turn itself inside out and shoot its contents all over the coffin of a bathroom I was trapped in. When I finally stopped long enough to inspect the damage, I started to gag again when I saw a long string of wet mess dangling down from the ceiling. It hung for what seemed like an eternity then snapped free and landed on my cheek.
I staggered out of the small bathroom and the makeup/wardrobe guy started gagging. The captain came down to see what the problem was. I think the smell must have hit him first because his face wrinkled up and he took a step back.
“What the hell!” he exclaimed.
I was pissed when they made me go on deck to literally hose me off. I was sent back down to change and get my makeup fixed. The makeup guy was such a wuss. Every time I belched, he took cover for fear I would hurl on him.
I noticed my two managers were nowhere to be found on this boat ride from hell. I contemplated how they would both die as I shivered in my chair. I had time to come up with some creative ways of ending their miserable lives for getting me into this mess.
The Captain finally convinced me to come back on deck. He explained if I focused on the city’s skyline, I would feel better. I almost believed him when they trotted me back out onto the bow and I did my whole Titanic routine. The photographer assured me he had some great shots between my bouts of feeding the fish. After seeing the damage to the head, I was surprised I had anything left.
The crew thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen! I’d be okay for a while, and then I would start to dry-heave. “Thar she blows!” they would call as I would find more yellow bile somewhere in my depths. I finally had to beg them to take me back in.
When we got back to the dock, I took two steps and fell down. My former managers came running up.
“David, what’s wrong?” Kendal asked as she and Adrienne looked at me with worry.
I lifted my arm and crooked my finger to point at them.
“You! You must die!” I croaked out.
The Captain hopped off the boat and shook his head at me.
“He got a little seasick,” he offered.
The photographer joined us. He had an evil grin.
“I have some great shots,” he said.
I was surprised when everyone wanted to go see the pictures and left me lying on the dock to die.
“YOU WANT TO GET AN order of oysters?” Adrienne asked me.
This had been going on for the past several minutes. Harper and Sarah had joined us for dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. All of them had their shoulders shaking as they tried not to laugh aloud. Harper squeezed my hand under that table.
“I always thought it was like sucking down a phlegm ball,” Kendal said and shuddered in disgust.
I took a deep breath and must have gone green because even Harper let go of my hand and scooted back.
“I think that one got to him,” Sarah said with a touch of worry in her voice.
I actually felt better, but I wouldn’t let them know that. I felt Kendal and Adrienne had acted very unprofessionally when they had the photographer send them pictures of me being seasick. They then sent them to Lily who posted them on my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter accounts. Seeing me hanging over the rail of a sailboat with drool hanging from my chin got a lot of likes. My phone sounded like a slot machine as I got all the notifications.
The comment which hurt the most was from Hannah Minacci: ‘And you wanted me to go to Prom with you?!?!?’
Harper wasn’t happy when Hannah’s comments triggered several women to offer to nurse me back to health and go to Prom with me. I was secretly happy to see Bree, Suzanne and Halle all volunteered. I was surprised when Lisa Felton said she would take one for the team and be my escort.
I showed Hannah Minacci’s comment to Adrienne.
“Don’t pout. She’s now following you on Facebook. I’d say it’s a step in the right direction.”
“Good point,” I cooed.
Harper took my phone away from me so we could order dinner. I got their Cowboy Ribeye and made sure we had sides of mushrooms and creamed spinach. I’m not normally a big spinach guy, but Uncle John told me to order it if I ever went to Ruth’s Chris. He was right in his assessment.
The girls watched in wonder as I made short work of the bone-in ribeye. I had to admit, it was huge, but it was cooked to perfection and was one of the best steaks I’d ever had. I reminded them my stomach was more than a little empty. We passed on dessert because I’d ordered a cheesecake and we planned to pick it up on the way home. We were meeting Bev and Jack back at the house for dessert and coffee.
When we arrived at Harper’s home, Adrienne took me aside and told me I did a good job today. She said if it had been her, she would never have gone back on deck after getting sick. The company was happy with the photos. It looked like they might use one of the later ones in their ad campaign. Luckily, it wasn’t one of the ones with me hanging over the rail.
Chapter 16 – Spring Fashion Show
Wednesday April 22
STIC was the first stop on my itinerary again today. In the morning, I received another fascial stretch therapy session. After just three sessions, I could feel a difference in my mobility and flexibility. I worked with Connor and their speed and flexibility trainer. I had been running 30 to 35 miles a week. They wanted me to cut back on my distance running and focus more on sprints. A plan was set up where I would only run 15 to 20 miles a week by running five miles a day, three to four times a week. The other days I would do speed work.
They did most of the same things my speed coach had taught me last summer. They all agreed I needed to focus on improving my speed. I’d gotten lazy because in high school you really didn’t face many really fast guys. They proved their point to me by having one of their clients, a defensive end for the Buffalo Bills, chase me around. Watching this 280-pound gazelle explode off the ball shook me up. If I ever hoped to get to the NFL, I needed to be better in every phase of my game. Speed, strength and mental toughness were just three areas that came to mind.