“The age-old question, and I wish I knew,” I said, and then got serious. “We were best friends from first grade through most of middle school. I messed up. I did some things I’m not proud of. I ended up having to go to my uncle’s farm for the summer.
“When I came back, we tried to rebuild our friendship. Our relationship imploded last summer for the same reason most end up failing: we had different expectations of each other. When it became obvious we couldn’t work it out, Tami went to the UK to spend the school year there.
“We have a lot of history. I think everyone thought we would someday marry and live happily ever after. I thought we would. Tami always told me ‘someday,’ but someday never came. Will someday ever come? Boy, I just don’t know.
“For now, we’re friends. I still love her. I just don’t know if it’s that kind of love.”
“Have you ever been in that kind of love?”
“I thought I was. At one point I was all-in with Tracy,” I said, and then turned the focus of the conversation on her. “Why the twenty questions?”
“I guess I’m seeing what my competition is,” she replied.
“I don’t know what you think you’re competing for.”
“I’ve been wondering if I made a mistake when we talked on the way back from the lake last week,” Pam admitted.
“I’m nowhere near ready for a serious relationship. If you’re looking for a commitment, I’m sorry, I’m not your guy,” I said, and could tell this upset her. “Before you walk out on me, let me lay my cards on the table. I like you, Pam. I like you a lot. I would hate for us not to be friends. If you aren’t comfortable with what we’ve been doing, I’d give it up in a heartbeat to keep you in my life.
“I’ve just gone through too much to make a commitment right now. I have some serious trust issues. I think if you’re patient with me for, say, four to six years, it might be worth it.”
“Can I ask you one more question? Do you plan on having sex with Tami?”
“As of this moment, the answer would be no. Tami and I need to become friends again before anything physical will happen. Will we get to the point where sex is possible? Maybe.”
She grabbed my face so we were looking into each other’s eyes.
“Since you now like me, there are a couple of things that have to change. The first is you have to take me out on a real date. You also have to kiss me often.”
I took a deep breath.
“I can do that,” I said as a smile crept onto my face.
Pam sealed our deal with a kiss. A much better way than a handshake!
WHEN THE GIRLS SAW Pam didn’t end up in the pool, they ventured out. We spent the afternoon catching up. I was a little disappointed to hear Cindy had found a boyfriend at college. I guess I shouldn’t have been disappointed, but that feeling she was mine was hard to get over. He was a freshman on the Ohio State football team and played defensive end. In high school, he had led his team to back-to-back state championships. He almost played lacrosse but accepted a scholarship in football instead. They were serious, from the sound of it.
Suzanne couldn’t find the right guy. She had been on several dates, but none were keepers. She was doing very well at Northwestern. She was a straight-‘A’ student. She loved her business classes.
Beth surprised me when she told us she was dating a guy. It wasn’t anything serious, and they were free to date other people, but I could tell she felt more strongly than he did. I found it funny she was always the one who fell for the guy who didn’t seem to know what he had.
If I’d been looking for a girlfriend who might turn into more, Beth would be at the top of my list. She was cute, smart, had a sense of humor, and would love you to death. If she ever decided you were her guy, that would be it. Beth would make someone a good partner. She was also adventurous in bed. I’d be surprised if sex would ever get boring with her creative mind.
Pam went next by telling the older girls about her boyfriend in California. She explained how he broke her heart when he started dating her best friend only a week after she moved here. She had them laughing when she told them how she’d jumped me. Of course, this turned into a long discussion about me.
They made me tell them about Peggy and our dating arrangement. I shared my experiment with Nancy and why I’d invited her to go on vacation with me. I told them of my disappointment at our discovery that we were better friends than lovers. I then told them about Peggy when she had dumped me for Mitch. I didn’t share that Mitch had gotten her pregnant. They wanted to know about my movie and wanted the scoop on me and Halle. I then told them about the short fling Harper and I’d had. I just said we’d broken up and were still friends.
Then it was Tami’s turn. I excused myself with the lame reason of needing to use the bathroom. I think everyone except Pam saw through my excuse. I didn’t want to hear about Tami’s sex life while she was in the UK. I might want her to be happy, but I didn’t need her relationships rubbed in my face.
Tuesday May 26
I PICKED UP JEFF, TAMI and Tim, and we went to the high school to work out. We worked out five days a week. Today we would swim instead of run. Duke had been banned on swimming days. He wouldn’t keep out of the pool. Dad clued me in when he showed me his webbed feet. I’d forgotten Labrador retrievers were considered water dogs.
We were on a set schedule. The training staff had assigned us time slots to work out since there were over a hundred guys going out for football. The linemen and defense worked out in the afternoon; offense and skill players were assigned to the morning. Jeff and the other receivers were spending serious time with the JUGS Machines catching the ball. The machines could also be set up for both kickoff and punt returns. I could tell the difference when we went to live practice. The guys were noticeably more sure-handed after using the equipment for only a couple of weeks.
After we lifted and swam, we went out on the practice field to learn the new offense. Alan acted as our coach. He brought his laptop and would show us the play and then we would run it. Alan’s naturally bossy nature actually helped us because he wasn’t afraid to tell us when we were doing it wrong. I did have to warn Wolf not to stuff him in a garbage can one day, but Alan would have deserved it.
I was surprised when Tami became his assistant. To her credit, she didn’t say much, as she was learning the offense too.
At noon, Cassidy put us through sixty minutes of hell. Afterwards, I took Tim, Cassidy, Tami and Jeff home for lunch. Alan would also join us.
After lunch, it was time for the dojo. Cassidy and I joined a class taught by Shiggy. Jeff and Tami were enrolled in a beginner’s class. Tim and Alan went back to the high school to work with the defense. Moose had told me my days on defense were over. We would have enough freshmen and sophomores moving up to varsity to fill my spot.
After the dojo, we went to the pool. When it came to swimming, we had an embarrassment of riches. We would rotate between going to Tracy, Cindy, Beth, or Pam’s houses or the lake to go swim. We would have as few as four or five or as many as forty show up. It seemed everyone would hang out with us at least once a week.
This became my daily routine for the rest of the summer.
Friday May 29
I KNOCKED AT PAM’S door. Today was our first official date. Tami had teased me that I had to take her, too, at least according to the agreement I made concerning her birthday present. I ignored her and hoped she wasn’t serious.
Cal answered the door.
“Come on back to the kitchen. She’s not ready, and I think Cora and Lacy want to see you.”
Cora gave me a smirk and I could see she was going to give me a hard time.
“I’ve been thinking.”