“Careless?” Max asked.
“You might say so. You see, I heard a rumor that hula-hoops were going to make a comeback. So, I chased around the country buying up all the Giant Ring Toss games I could find. For the hula-hoops, of course. I didn’t need the telephone poles.”
Max nodded, yawning.
“But, to make a long story short,” Hank said, “hula-hoops did not make a comeback. I’d spent a million dollars on hula-hoops, and it was all lost.”
“That’s the way the hoop twirls,” Max said.
“Which brings us up-to-date,” Hank said. “I’m broke. I spent my last cent for a ticket back to Paris.” He smiled. “But I’m not licked,” he said. He pointed to the suitcase. “My second fortune is right in there.”
Max perked up. “Actually, what you mean is, the means to acquire your second fortune is in there-right?”
“Right.” Hank beamed.
Max turned to 99. “Well, apparently our cool has paid off,” he said. “We have gained the diabolical Dr. X’s confidence and he has revealed himself to us.”
“It was a brilliant strategy, Max,” 99 gushed.
“Aren’t we still friends?” Hank said. “Somebody talk to me.”
“I’ll talk to you,” Max said. “Hand over that formula and those invisible guinea pigs.”
Hank looked at Fang. “What he say?”
“Rorff!”
Hank turned back to Max. “What he say?”
“He said ‘Rorff!’ Translated, that means that the jig is up. We know what you’re carrying in that suitcase. And we know how you intend to make your second fortune-by peddling those invisible guinea pigs to KAOS!” He pulled his gun and pointed it at Hank. “All right, open that suitcase!”
“You must be crazy!” Hank protested.
“Yes-crazy like a fox! Open that suitcase!”
Hank shrugged. He lifted the suitcase and put it on the table. Then, reluctantly, he opened it.
Max stared into the suitcase. “A candy bar?”
“Yes,” Hank said. “I have to start at the bottom again. I’m going back to get another Picasso.”
Max put his gun away. “Well, good-night,” he said, rising. “It was an interesting story.”
“I can also tell it with a French accent,” Hank said. “Would you like to hear it?”
“No, I think we’d better be toddling along. It’s getting late.”
99 and Fang also rose.
“Have some more cocoa and cookies, another peanut butter on rye,” Hank urged. “I’ll tell you about my childhood. I like to talk to you three-I have confidence in you.”
“Some other time,” Max said, backing away. “We have to turn in now. Busy day tomorrow.”
“I could talk to you while you sleep,” Hank said, getting up.
“Run for it!” Max yelled.
He and 99 and Fang dashed for the exit. They ran from the lounge, out onto the deck, then back inside, and down the stairway that led to C Deck. At Deck B-3 they paused.
“I think we’ve lost him,” Max said, panting.
“I think we overdid it, gaining his confidence, Max,” 99 said.
“Sometimes those things get out of control.”
“Max, speaking of Control-shouldn’t we check in with the Chief?”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Max said. He looked around. “There-there’s a closet. We can duck in there.”
They crowded into the closet and closed the door.
“Now, I’ll remove my shoe,” Max said, “and we’ll-”
“What’s the matter, Max?”
“It’s too tight a fit in here. I can’t reach my shoe.”
“We’ll wait, Max.”
Max opened the closet door, stepped out, removed his shoe, then stepped back in and closed the door.
Max: Chief, this is Agent 86 calling. Are you there?
Chief: Wuzza-bubba whosiz?
Max: I think we have a bad connection, Chief. You’re coming in fuzzy.
Operator: Don’t knock the connections. It’s him. He’s half asleep. What do you expect at three o’clock in the morning?
Max: Sorry, Operator. I didn’t mean to knock the connection.
Operator: Just watch it!
Max: Chief-are you awake now?
Chief: Max, you better have something important to report, calling me at this hour.
Max: I’m sorry, Chief. There’s a time difference, you know. It’s only two o’clock in the morning here.
Chief: Max, what is it!
Max: Just keeping you informed, Chief. After all, it was your idea. ‘Keep me informed, Max.’ That’s what you said.
Chief: All right, Max. Inform me.
Max: Well, actually, Chief, we don’t have a great deal to report. Although, we did run into a rather interesting character a few minutes ago. He’s taking a candy bar to Paris to trade for a Picasso.
Operator: You woke him up at three o’clock in the morning to tell him that!
Max: Operator… do you mind?
Operator: You’re keeping me awake, too, you know. Who do you think is handling this call? The Supervisor? Oh, no, not the Supervisor. You know what the Supervisor is doing right now? Sacked out in the ladies’ lounge, that’s where the Supervisor is right now.
Chief: Max, call me later, will you, please. There’s too much interference on this line.
Operator: Just how do you mean that!
Chief: Max… please… call me back later.
Max: Right, Chief.
Max opened the closet door, stepped out, and hung up his shoe.
99 yawned. “Finally, we can get some sleep,” she said.
“You go on ahead,” Max said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Aren’t you coming, Max?”
“I can’t. The Chief asked me to call him back.”
“But I don’t think he meant-”
“I’ll wait about five minutes,” Max said. “Then I’ll give him another ring.”
“But, Max-”
“I know, I know, it’s an inconvenience to me,” Max said. “But I can’t let the Chief down. I promised I’d call him back. Good-night, 99.”
“Good-night, Max.”
“Good-night, Fang.”
“Rorff!”
“Don’t worry, if we get the same operator, I’ll just hang up and call him back again in another five minutes.”
8
The trio slept late the next morning. It was nearly noon when they arrived in the dining room for breakfast. When they were seated, the waiter handed out menus.
“What’s this?” Max said, frowning at the menu. “Roast beef? Roast turkey? Roast lamb? This isn’t the sort of thing a man likes for breakfast.”
“Sorry, sir. Breakfast is over. It’s time for lunch.”
Max sighed. “All right. I’ll have the roast turkey-but scrambled. And with sausage, buttered toast and coffee.”
“I’ll have two four-minute lambs,” 99 said. “And bacon, buttered toast and coffee.”
“Rorff!”
“There’s one at every meal,” Max said disgustedly. He spoke to the waiter. “Fang will settle for buttered toast and coffee,” he said. “But he wants them curried.”
“Yes, sir.”
The waiter departed.
“Well now,” Max said, “let’s see what’s on the professional menu. We still have a mission to complete. And, so far, the diabolical Dr. X has eluded our rapidly closing pincers.”
“Pardon, Max?”
“He’s outsmarted us.”
“Oh… yes. Max,” 99 said, “I think we ought to concentrate on those scientists again. After all, we know that Dr. X is among the group.”
“You’re probably right, 99,” Max said. He took a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and began unfolding it. “I have the scientists’ schedule here,” he said. “It was given to me along with my membership in the tour. Let’s see what the scientists will be doing today.” He scanned the sheet closely. “At nine this morning,” he said, “they met in the ship’s auditorium to hear a lecture on ‘Molecules and Atoms-Do They or Don’t They (And Why Only Their Scientist Knows).’ Too bad we missed that.”
“What are the scientists doing now, Max?”
“Let’s see… well, right now, they’re on a coffee break. Then at noon-” He glanced at his watch. “-exactly four minutes from now-they gather again in the auditorium for a lecture on ‘Space-The Way-Out Element’. That lecture is to be given by Dr. Maxwell Smart.” He folded the sheet of paper. “That lecture might prove interesting,” he said. “Personally, I don’t know the first thing about space. I forgot to read that book the Chief gave me.”