“After he put the wheel on, he attached a basket to the handlebars,” Max said. “Bicycles were used as beasts of burden in those days.”
“I think we better mingle some more, Max,” 99 said.
“Yes…”
3
As they moved away from the two scientists, 99 suddenly clutched Max’s arm. “Max! Look! Over there! Across the room! A clean-shaven scientist!”
But Max refused to look. “I’ve been rebuffed enough for one day,” he pouted. “No more scientists.”
“But, Max! Clean-shaven!”
Max ventured a peek. “Hmmmmm. You’re right, 99. And, he looks like a good-natured sort, too. Well, all right, we’ll approach him. But he better be in better humor than the other scientists we’ve tackled today. One more icy stare, and I’m going to my stateroom and hide my head and not come out until I get a written apology-in triplicate!”
“Max, don’t be so sensitive.”
“A secret agent has feelings, too, you know.”
“But you’re supposed to hide them, Max.”
“That’s what I intended to do-under a pillow, and not come out until I got a written apology-in triplicate.”
“Look, Max! The clean-shaven scientist! He’s laughing! You’ll like him!”
Max stared at her icily. “99, a secret agent can’t pick and choose. A secret agent has to go anywhere, and meet anybody, and like it. A secret agent can’t afford to have feelings.”
“All right, Max.”
Slowly, inconspicuously, Max, 99 and Fang made their way toward the clean-shaven scientist, who was in conversation with another of the bearded scientists.
When they neared them, the clean-shaven scientist extended a hand to Max, smiling jovially. “Hello there,” he said. “I saw you slowly making your way in this direction. I’m Herbert Wai-pronounced ‘Y’.”
“Mr. ‘Y’?” Max said, taken aback for a moment.
“Yes, ‘Y’-as in ‘Yellow young yoga in Yankeeland’.”
Max’s eyes narrowed. “Or as in ‘X’?”
“I don’t follow you,” Mr. Wai replied.
“No, but ‘Y’ does follow ‘X’-which strikes me as being somewhat suspicious.”
“On the other hand,” Mr. Wai smiled, “ ‘X’ is also followed by ‘Z’.”
Max’s jaw fell. “Yes, I guess that clears you, all right,” he said. “Apparently, it’s all in the way you look at it. I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
“It could happen to anybody,” Mr. Wai assured Max. The smile spread out over his face again. “I don’t believe I caught your name,” he said.
Max introduced himself and 99 and Fang. “Are you a scientist, too?” he asked.
“Oh, no,” Mr. Wai replied. “Didn’t you notice-I’m clean-shaven. Scientists have beards. No, I’m the tour director. I’m escorting all you scientists to Europe to see the laboratories.” He suddenly frowned. “If you’re one of our scientists,” he said, “how is it that you’re clean-shaven, too?”
“Oh… yes. Well, there’s an explanation for that,” Max replied. “You see, I’m… ah… ah…”
“Rorff!”
“Yes, that’s it!” Max brightened. “I’m traveling incognito.”
Mr. Wai peered at him puzzledly. “You’re traveling as a mushroom?”
“Fang!” Max snapped at K-13.
“Rorff!”
“Oh, that’s what it means!” Max said, relieved. He turned back to Mr. Wai. “No, you see, incognito means that I’m concealing my true identity.”
“Well, maybe so,” Mr. Wai said doubtfully. “But I don’t think it’s working. I’d never take you for a mushroom.”
“Would you take me for a space scientist?” Max suggested.
“Yes.”
“Then let’s settle for that,” Max said.
“Fine, fine,” Mr. Wai nodded. “And, how are you enjoying the tour-so far?”
“Well, frankly, I’ve had better times at automobile accidents,” Max said. “I find that my colleagues are severely lacking in an appreciation of the finer degrees of humor.”
“I agree,” Mr. Wai said. “A bunch of point-killers if I ever saw a bunch of point-killers.” He suddenly grinned. “But, say, I did hear a good one today. As a space scientist, you might enjoy it. It seems that a bunch of these space scientists were sitting around the launching pad, discussing what animal they ought to send to the moon, and one of these space scientists said-”
“Cheese and quackers,” Max broke in.
“Oh. You’ve heard it.”
“Yes, I’ve heard it,” Max said. “But, have you heard the one about Orville and Wilbur Wright?”
“Hand me that socket wrench?” Mr. Wai replied.
“That’s it,” Max nodded.
Mr. Wai extended a hand again. “Well, I have to mingle with the other scientists,” he said. “But it’s been fun.”
“Yes, we’ll have to get together and trade punchlines again,” Max said.
Mr. Wai ambled off.
“Max,” 99 said, “I’m not so sure about him.”
“Innocent as a new-born-babe,” Max said.
“I don’t know-his name, Mr. ‘Y’. That’s awfully close to Dr. X.”
“Mr. Wai couldn’t possibly be a scientist,” Max said. “With a highly developed sense of humor like that? Impossible.”
“All right, Max. If you say so. Shall we mingle some more?”
Max shook his head. “No. We’re getting nowhere here. We’ve checked out the only clean-shaven man at the party, and found that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he isn’t Dr. X. So, the only conclusion I can reach is that Dr. X is not present. I think it’s time to change tactics again, 99.”
“What now, Max?”
“Let’s step outside where we can have some privacy,” Max said. “We don’t want to be overheard.”
“Max, no one is paying any attention to us.”
“That’s another reason for getting out of here,” Max said, leading the way toward the exit.
Max, 99 and Fang went out on deck and stood by the rail.
“I think we’re safe here,” Max said. A sea gull swooped by. “Unless that sea gull is bugged,” he added. “But we’ll just have to take that chance.”
“What do you have in mind, Max?” 99 said.
“In a nutshell, this,” Max said. “Now, we know that the diabolical Dr. X is traveling with a suitcase of six invisible guinea pigs-right? Right. And, it stands to reason that the suitcase is in Dr. X’s stateroom-right? Right. So, the next logical step, it seems to me, would be to search the staterooms of each and every one of the scientists on board until we find the suitcase full of invisible guinea pigs.”
“Max-that’s brilliant!”
“Simple logic,” Max said modestly.
“That means that we’ll need a list of the staterooms that have been assigned to scientists,” 99 said.
“Right. Now, armed with this list-”
“Where will we get the list, Max?”
“From the officer in charge of lists, of course. Where else?”
“I’d like to see that. Max.”
“You will, 99. Because that is your assignment.”
“Why me, Max?”
“Because, in this instance, I think your femininity will be more effective than my intellectuality. You know how sailors are. There’s something about being at sea that makes them especially susceptible to the lures of romance. Though, for the life of me, I can’t fathom what it could be.”
“Salt air, maybe,” 99 suggested.
“Rorff!” Fang barked.
Max glared at him. “It couldn’t be that,” he said. “And I think it’s ungentlemanly of you even to suggest it.”
“All right, Max,” 99 said, “what do I do after I get the list?”
“Try to shake the sailor,” Max said. “Then come to my stateroom. Fang and I will be there. I want to inspect that attache case of gadgets that the Chief gave us. There might be a gadget in there that we can use to help us search the scientists’ staterooms.”
99 saluted. “See you later, Max.”
“Don’t make it too much later,” Max said. “Fang may be right about what makes sailors that way.”
When 99 had gone, Max turned to Fang. “Time to hit that long, long trail-back to C Deck, boy,” he said. “Are you up to it?”
“Rorff!”
“Yes, I guess ‘down to it’ is closer to the mark.”
“Rorff!”
“No, Fang, I will not go down and get the attache case and bring it up here.”