The comment riled her, and she felt objections building in her mouth, clamouring to get out. Don’t go too far , she warned herself. If you manage to convince him to let you fight, it will be hard to take back. She swallowed her anger, and fell silent.
‘Jaya?’ he ventured.
She gave a big sigh, trying not to seem too affected. ‘Very well,’ she said. ‘If it is that important. Let it not be said that Jaya Kincare is the reason why the light failed.’
He held her tight then. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘Thank you, my good friend. I was afraid you would not see my point, but knowing that you’re safe, I’ll be able to enjoy myself properly.’
‘Enjoy?’ she said.
‘Just a turn of phrase,’ he said quickly. ‘Maybe not the right one. You know what I mean.’
‘Just so long as you remember that I’ll be fearful for your safety too. All this talk of the grander scheme, when really you’re looking forward to having some fun? You make it sound like you’ve just talked me out of attending a drinking session with your old barracks comrades.’
‘No, no! That’s not how I meant it.’
She decided to let him off lightly. ‘It’s all right, Bel. I know you like to swing your sword about. Maybe it’s right that you do. I just hope you aren’t trivialising the situation.’
‘Honestly, I am just relieved you won’t be at risk.’
Me too , she thought.
‘Very well, then,’ she said. ‘And now, just in case we both die tomorrow, how about …’ She took his hand where it lay on her stomach, and moved it upwards.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘it would be unfair to talk my lady out of all her wishes.’
‘How kind of you, sir,’ she said with a throaty chuckle.
•
Fahren sat in his tent, smoking and poring over a map of Fenvarrow. He wasn’t exactly sure why …maybe because, if they defeated the shadow army, there would still be a lot of enemy land left standing. Emptied and depleted, maybe, but standing.
A worry for another day.
He pushed the map away wearily, for it was suddenly the last thing he wanted to look at. He felt less sprightly these days, less like a young man in an old man’s body, and more just like an old man.
War will do that, I suppose.
‘Someone here to see you, my Throne,’ came the voice of a guard from outside the tent.
Fahren sighed. Always there would be someone to see him, forever and ever. ‘Who?’ he said.
‘My name is Querrus,’ came another voice. ‘I’m the mage who has been with Blade Bel these past –’
‘Enter,’ said Fahren.
Querrus, a bald, wiry fellow, pulled back the tent flap.
‘Have a seat,’ said Fahren, gesturing at his little table, a luxury afforded the Throne in a camp short on supplies.
‘Thank you, lord,’ said Querrus, sitting down.
‘And thank you,’ said Fahren, ‘for aiding Bel. I’m told you have a gift for speed.’
‘The horse helps,’ said Querrus, and Fahren smiled.
‘What did you wish to see me about?’
Querrus’s expression grew serious. ‘I felt I had to come,’ he said. ‘I do not want to betray a confidence, especially that of a friend, but …well, you are the Throne. And perhaps you already know what I’m here to report, but I still consider it my duty.’
‘Report, then.’
Querrus ran a hand over his scalp. ‘During my time with Bel, I learned something disturbing. It might not have been his first wish to tell me, but he needed to convince me to stand by him while the shadow rolled towards us.’
‘Go on,’ said Fahren, though a weight had begun to press on his stomach.
‘I will just come out and say it,’ sighed Querrus. ‘I have come to understand that if Bel dies, so will the Shadowdreamer, and vice versa – such is the nature of their connectedness.’
Casually Fahren reached for his tobacco pouch, his heart pounding. ‘I see. And have you told anyone else of this?’
‘No, my Throne, I thought only to come to you. You knew already?’
Fahren gave the slightest nod. Well did he know of what Querrus spoke, for it had kept him awake many a night. Kill Bel and the dreamer dies, the single worst danger to Kainordas eliminated. It was a terrible thought, the very last option if everything went bad, if it looked as though Losara would win. Yet it was Fahren’s choice alone to make, and he did not trust it to any other.
‘What do you suggest we do with this information?’ he asked.
‘I’m not sure. Perhaps – by Arkus I do not suggest this lightly – but it could be something worth knowing if things don’t go according to plan.’ The mage suddenly looked worried. ‘Honestly I do not wish Bel any harm. I only dream of suggesting it because there’s so much at stake. And it is not my decision – I merely thought to report what I had discovered to you, my Throne.’
‘No one wants to return to the old balance,’ said Fahren. ‘A world at war and no one ever winning.’
‘Of course,’ said Querrus, his head bobbing up and down.
‘A very last resort,’ said Fahren.
He sat back in his chair, imagining the two armies fighting. Querrus was standing with Bel while around them Kainordans fell in droves, the shadow clearly having gained the upper hand. A moment of doubt would be all it took, weakness when one thought one was doing the right thing – and yet battles could turn when all seemed lost. Fahren hated knowing what he did about Bel and Losara, wished he did not …and certainly could not trust it to anyone else at this critical stage, for now was when it could do the most harm.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
Querrus looked quizzical. ‘My Throne?’
Fahren flicked a finger at him, shooting out a sleep spell that clouded Querrus’s eyes. The mage slumped forward, began to fall from his seat. Fahren caught him and lowered him gently to the ground.
‘I cannot abide you knowing this,’ he whispered, ‘when I don’t even trust myself to.’
It had been a long time since he’d tinkered with anyone’s memory, for it was not something he chose to do frivolously. The last time had been when baby Bel was first retrieved from Whisperwood, and the mages who had found him foolishly announced it to the world. Seeking to protect Bel, Fahren had had them falsify his death and give out that he’d been a fake, then ordered them brought to him one by one to erase events from their minds. And now, years later, he would use the same method to protect Bel once again. Closing his eyes, he set a hand on Querrus’s brow and delved into his mind. It was no simple matter to find specific memories, for minds were large and tangled places. As he searched, he became privy to various random moments in Querrus’s life, which made him feel like an ugly invader. A recent one rose to the surface – Querrus clinging to Bel as they rode a horse towards the Shining Mines, the mage’s excitement mixed up with the draining of his strength. Commendable that he had put everything into speeding Bel so quickly …but at this point he did not yet possess the dangerous knowledge. Fahren followed the line of the memory – from where to pluck it loose? He did not want to remove all of Querrus’s recent doings from recollection – not only was that cruel, but the mage might still be useful. If he could just find the place where Querrus had learned Bel’s secret, perhaps he could remove it cleanly …but the line was short, disappearing into darkness. As a scout and a mage, Querrus was prepared for this type of violation, had realised the information was important enough to bury somewhere.