Laurel wondered what Rhoslyn would have to say about the many frivolous reasons humans found for having babies, but she remained silent.
“Sprouts are nurtured in a special garden at the Academy,” Rhoslyn continued, “like all the other important plants and flowers. Spring and Summer seedlings learn to work by watching others, often their own parents, so Tamani spent a lot of time at the Academy with me.”
“And I was there?”
“Of course. From the time your sprout opened, just like all the other Fall faeries.”
Laurel looked up at Tamani and he nodded. “From the very first day. Like I said. They don’t know you.”
Laurel nodded forlornly.
“Laurel’s having a little difficulty with her lack of fae parents,” Tamani explained quietly.
“Oh, don’t fret,” Rhoslyn chided. “The separation is an important part of your upbringing. Parents would just get in the way.”
“What? How?” Laurel asked, a little disturbed by the casual tone that Rhoslyn — a mother herself — was using to dismiss Laurel’s unknown parents.
“Chances are good your parents were Spring faeries; they would have had no idea how to teach a young Fall seedling. A Fall must be free from these kinds of random attachments with lower faeries,” she said calmly, as if she were not speaking of herself. “They must learn to cultivate their minds to do the work they’re expected to perform. Fall faeries are very important to our society. After even this short time at the Academy, surely you must see that.”
Laurel’s mind latched on to the phrase random attachments. Parents were far more than that. Or at least they should be.
Despite the coziness of Tamani’s home, Laurel found herself wanting to flee the conversation. “Tamani,” she said abruptly, “we’ve walked so far; I’m worried that we’ll be late getting back to the Academy.”
“Oh, don’t concern yourself,” Tamani said. “We’ve been walking along a big circle, just catching the edges of the settled districts. We’re not far from the Queen’s woods now, and that borders the grounds of the Academy. Still,” he continued, addressing his mother now, “we should be going. I promised the Academy staff this would be a short visit.” Tamani looked at Laurel with concern in his eyes, but she looked away.
“Of course,” Rhoslyn said warmly, completely unaware of the tension she had created. “Come back anytime, Laurel. It was lovely to see you again.”
Laurel smiled numbly. She felt Tamani’s fingers twine through hers, tugging her toward the door.
“Will you be back, Tam?” Rhoslyn asked just before they crossed the threshold.
“Yes. I have to return to the gate at sunrise, but I’ll stay tonight.”
“Good. Rowen should be gone by the time you come back. I’ll make sure your bed is ready.”
“Thank you.”
Laurel said good-bye and turned, leading the way back to the main road they had walked down only a short hour before. When Tamani released Laurel’s hand and resumed his place a few steps behind her, she grumbled incoherently and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Please don’t be this way,” Tamani said quietly.
“I can’t help it,” Laurel said. “The way she talked, she—”
“I know it’s not what you’re used to, Laurel, but that’s how it is here. I’m sure none of your classmates give it a second thought.”
“They don’t know any better. You do.”
“Why? Because I know how humans do it? You’re assuming that your way is better.”
“It is better!” Laurel said, whirling around to face him.
“Maybe for humans,” Tamani countered in a strong, quiet voice. “But humans are not faeries. Faeries have different needs.”
“So you are saying you like this? Taking faeries away from their parents?”
“I’m not saying either is better. I haven’t lived around humans nearly enough to judge. But consider this,” he said, placing one hand on her shoulder, his touch softening the edge of his words. “What if we lived here in Avalon like you do in the human world? Every time some Springs get a Fall seedling, it gets to live with them. They get to raise her. Except that she leaves them to go and study at the Academy for twelve hours a day. They never see her. They don’t understand anything she’s doing. On top of that, they don’t have a garden at their house — a garden she needs to do her classwork — so now she’s gone for fourteen, sixteen hours a day. They miss her; she misses them. They never see one another. Eventually they are like strangers, except that, unlike now, the parents know what they are missing out on. And it hurts, Laurel. It hurts them, and it hurts her. Tell me how that’s better.”
Laurel stood in shock as the logic sank in. Could he be right? She hated even considering it. And yet, it had a certain brutal efficiency she couldn’t deny.
“I’m not saying it’s better,” Tamani said, his voice gentle. “I’m not even saying you have to understand, but don’t think us devoid of emotion because we separate uppers from lowers. We have our reasons.”
Laurel nodded slowly. “What about fathers?” she asked, her tone quiet now, the anger gone. “Do you have a father?”
Tamani fixed his gaze firmly on the ground. “I did,” he said, his voice low and slightly choked.
Guilt rushed over her. “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to…I’m sorry.” She touched his shoulder, wishing there was something more she could do.
Tamani’s jaw was clenched, but he forced a smile anyway. “It’s all right. I just miss him. It’s only been about a month.”
A month. Right when he would have been expecting her to come visit him at the land. But I didn’t come. Her chest felt empty. “I…I didn’t know.” She paused.
He smiled. “It’s fine, really. We all knew it was coming.”
“Really? What did he die of?”
“He didn’t die, really. It’s kind of the opposite of dying.”
“What does that mean?”
Tamani took a deep breath and let it out slowly. When he looked up at Laurel again, he was his old self — his mourning hidden away. “I’ll show you sometime. It’s something you have to see to understand.”
“But can’t we—?”
“We don’t have time today,” Tamani said, cutting her off with a tone that had just a hint of tightness beneath it. “Come on. I’d better get you back so they’ll let me take you again next time.”
“Next week?” Laurel said hopefully.
Tamani shook his head. “Even if I had that much Avalon leave, they won’t let you away from your studies. In a few weeks.”
Laurel found the concept of “Avalon leave” strangely disconcerting — but not as disconcerting as being cooped up in the Academy indefinitely. A few weeks? He may as well have said forever. She could only hope that her next phase of education would pass the time more quickly than sitting in her room with a stack of textbooks.
LAUREL STUDIED HER APPEARANCE IN THE MIRROR the next morning, wondering just what, exactly, an acolyte-level student was supposed to look like. After the fiasco of her first dinner in Avalon, she had taken pains to dress appropriately, but asking anyone what to wear never got her more than a smiling encouragement to wear “whatever you find most comfortable.” She considered her hair — pulled up in a ponytail — then untied the ribbon, letting it fall back down around her shoulders. As she was sweeping it up again, a knock sounded at her door. She opened it and peered out at Katya’s smiling face.