“Don’t you see,” Kari asked. “You’ve already started on your way. You feel
guilt. That’s the first step toward redemption.”
“Why did your father send me here?”
Eyeing Gabriel, Kari thought he was definitely a person she never wanted to have angry with her. He reminded her of her father, physically weaker than she, but infinitely stronger, and much more intimidating. Her own insecurities began to seep into her as she looked into his eyes. She still didn’t know who she was. She’d yet to find a purpose.
“My father does everything for a reason, and he has rules that he must follow. He can only give you a task that he knows you are capable of completing. He sent you here because he believes in you, Gabriel. If you weren’t capable of putting things right here, he’d have sent someone else. You have what it takes to do whatever you’re supposed to.”
“He was wrong. I don’t. My father was right all along. I never had what it takes.
I could never stand up to him, and I can’t do this.”
“You have an idea, don’t you,” Kari asked, studying him. “You know how to fix the dying sun. I can tell.”
“It just sort of popped into my head, but it’ll never work. It’s too crazy.”
“Sometimes the best plans are the most insane,” Kari laughed. “Why don’t you
believe in yourself, Gabriel? Why are you so afraid that your idea won’t work? At least tell us all, so we can discuss it and decide whether or not it will work.”
“You know, it’s funny. I spent all my life wishing I could leave Earth behind, now that I have, all I want to do is go back. I had a childhood hero called the Doctor, and I used to pray that he would come and take me away. I’d wish on every shooting star, hold my breath over bridges, and every other stupid superstition. It never happened, and I was stuck in my horrible childhood to the end. I don’t even know the words to say how much my father, the bullies at school, and everything else messed me up. It hurts so much, and no matter how I try, I can’t forget. You want to know why my idea won’t work. It’s because nothing I ever do is good enough. Do you even understand how much it hurts?”
“I’m sorry, Gabriel,” Kari said.
“I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” Gabriel said. “I just met you an hour ago.”
“I know something about pain. I never thought love at first sight could really happen, until it happened to me. I thought it was something out of fairytales. How could someone fall in love in the blink of an eye? But I did, the second I saw him.”
“What happened?”
“He doesn’t even know I’m alive,” Kari sighed. “And he loves someone else. I never had a chance. Knowing that hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt before.”
“Ouch,” Gabriel said. “What a bastard.”
Eyeing him, Kari wondered if he even suspected that he was said bastard.
“The point is, that we can’t always have what we want. Sometimes we just have to take the pain and move on. It makes us stronger and better able to cope with the things ahead of us. Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. You do have what it takes, Gabriel. My father saw it in you. You only need to believe in yourself. Sometimes that’s the hardest thing of all to do. But it’s easier if others believe in you too. I believe that deep down, you want to do the right thing, and that you will, given the chance. You are the hero you always wanted to be. You have what it takes.
“There’s something my mother always says when everything seems to be going
wrong. Tomorrow will be a better day. And this is a bit of my own wisdom. You can’t make a journey without taking the first step. Sometimes we’re afraid of where that step will take us, or of the thousand different troubles we could step into, but without that first step, you’re never going anywhere. No step is harder than the first, but once you get going, you’ll find that there never was anything to fear in the first place.”
“What if I’m wrong,” Gabriel asked. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“What if you’re wrong,” Kari countered. “This world is dying in less than fifty years as it is. How much worse could you make things if you mess up? When you don’t have anything to lose, you’ve got everything to gain. What if you are a hero, and you just didn’t realize it. Most don’t, you know. Sometimes you just have to trust in yourself and put one foot in front of the other.”
With that Kari stood again, looking out at the sandy flatlands. There was a cloud of dust a touch to the north, though she couldn’t make out what was causing it across the distance. It was probably the Apostle. Time was short. The siege would soon begin.
“I’m sure you’ll make the right decision,” Kari said.
With that she walked back inside to find Sam waiting for her with her arms folded beneath her breasts, pushing her cleavage up to an almost obscene degree. Good thing the twins weren’t there to see.
“Don’t want him, do you,” she snapped.
“I was delivering a message from my father,” Kari said. “Nothing more. I can tell when I don’t have a chance. He’s all yours.”
*****
Gabriel watched Kari leave then looked up into the sky. Only a sliver of the sun could be seen to the side of Altima.
“What if I am a hero,” he asked aloud.
Beginning to feel somewhat better, Gabriel felt almost as though Kari had lifted a weight from his heart with her words. He’d really needed to hear what she’d said to him.
It wasn’t the answer to his pleas that he’d been expecting, but it would do. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps he really only needed to put his fears and insecurities aside, and take that first step. Maybe all he needed was to believe in himself. If she could believe in him after only just meeting him, why was it so hard for him to believe in himself?
“You have what it takes,” he said aloud, and liked the sound of it.
He was no action movie hero, but who else would have come up with his idea?
Not even the most sophisticated supercomputer ever built had. He could save this world.
He knew that he could. Kari was right.
“I want my redemption,” Gabriel said firmly, “and I’m going to get it! I have what it takes! You hear that father! I have what it takes!”
The door opened to reveal Sam, looking both worried and a little forlorn. Gabriel scooted aside a bit, away from the remnants of the railing post and gestured for her to join him. She came hesitantly and plopped down beside him. Pointedly, she did not look down, her pale skin going even paler.
“You’re gonna choose her, aren’t you,” Sam asked dejectedly. “I don’t blame
you. She’s way prettier than me, and acts a lot more like a girl than I ever will. Men with DNA as pure as yours can have any woman they want.”
“You’re an idiot,” Gabriel said.
Sam stiffened a bit at the insult.
“Why would I want her? Especially after I fought my way into the Haven for
you? She is pretty, but what are looks? She’s not you, Sam. I love you, and that’s never going to change. So please stop acting like a cat stuffed in a bag with another cat. I’m not going to leave you, remember my promise? You are the one I want to be with, and no one else.”
“You said love,” Sam whispered. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”
“And I mean it too,” Gabriel put his arm around Sam’s shoulders, knocking a very surprised Mister Mittens to the ground, and pulled her close to him. “Scram cat.”