Nadezhda, a party member beginning in 1918, was a model Bolshevik wife. She worked in Lenin’s secretariat (Lenin knew the Alliluevs and even lived in their apartment in 1917). In 1921 the Stalins had their first child, Vasily. Nadezhda had a hard time keeping up with childrearing, work, and party activism and apparently neglected the last. In late 1921 she was expelled from the party as “ballast with no interest in the life of the party whatsoever.” Only through the intercession of top party officials, including Lenin, was her membership restored, although she had to spend a year earning her way back in as a candidate member. Such were the times. Nadezhda herself probably believed in the ideals of equality and party democracy and was not offended by her treatment. In her request to be readmitted she promised to “prepare herself for party work.”9
In addition to the birth of Vasily, Nadezhda’s life was complicated by the introduction of Stalin’s first son, Yakov, into the family. Letters to her mother-in-law, Ekaterine Jughashvili, in 1922 and 1923 included cautious complaints: “Yasha is going to school, fooling around, and smoking, and does not listen to me”; “Yasha is also healthy, but he’s not putting much effort into his schoolwork.”10 Yakov, fifteen in 1922, was just six years younger than his stepmother. A few years later, in 1926, Nadezhda wrote of Yakov to a female friend: “I have already lost all hope that he will ever come to his senses. He has absolutely no interests and no goal.”11 The boy was also not getting along with his father. Conflict over his intention to marry ended tragically: when he failed to get his father’s consent, he tried to commit suicide. On 9 April 1928 Stalin wrote to Nadezhda: “Tell Yasha from me that he has behaved like a hooligan and a blackmailer with whom I have nothing in common and with whom I can have nothing further to do. Let him live wherever he wants and with whomever he wants.”12 For a while Stalin’s relationship with his eldest son was in a state of suspension, but on the eve of the war, when Yakov was studying at the Artillery Academy, Stalin was apparently pleased with him. On 5 May 1941, Yakov was present at a large Kremlin reception in honor of military academy graduates. In his remarks to the gathering, Stalin joked that “I have an acquaintance who studied at the Artillery Academy. I looked over his notes and found that a great deal of time is being spent studying cannons that were decommissioned in 1916.”13 This was an obvious reference to Yakov’s notes, a sign that the two were spending time together.
In early 1926 Nadezhda gave birth to a daughter, Svetlana. In sharing the good news with Ordzhonikidze’s wife, Zinaida, who was vacationing in the south, Nadezhda wrote, “In short, we now have a complete family.”14 But with Stalin immersed in his official duties and embroiled in a battle for power, this was no usual family. No doubt he loved his wife and children, but for the most part he loved them from a distance. They spent brief stretches of time together at the dacha outside Moscow and while on vacation in the south. Nadezhda, as if emulating her husband, was always busy with work, party activism, and her studies. In a letter to a friend a month before Svetlana’s birth, she wrote, “I very much regret that I’ve again fettered myself with new family responsibilities,” obviously referring to the impending arrival of her second child. “In our time it’s not very easy since there are such an awful lot of new prejudices, and if you’re not working, then of course you’re a ‘baba’ [peasant woman, used derogatively for women in general].… You just have to have an area of expertise that enables you to escape being someone’s errand girl, as usually happens in ‘secretarial’ work, and do everything that has to do with your area of expertise.”15 Young and energetic, Nadezhda sincerely and energetically strove to adhere to the new model of the “Soviet woman.” This was not easy. Her surviving letters show that to the end of her life her writing was riddled with syntactic errors. In an effort to make up for the shortcomings of her education, she became an assiduous student. In 1929 she enrolled in the Industrial Academy, hoping to receive, in keeping with the ethos of the times, an advanced technical education. Her children were largely handed over to nursemaids, governesses, and tutors. A housekeeper and cook took care of the Stalin Kremlin household. An important part in Vasily and Svetlana’s lives was played by relatives, as well as their peers among the children of other Soviet leaders who lived in the Kremlin. Together they formed a boisterous band that spent time together at suburban dachas and each other’s Kremlin apartments.
This manner of family life had its advantages and logic. The infrequency of time spent together could perhaps make “the heart grow fonder” and actually strengthen family ties. But the few surviving letters between Stalin and Nadezhda, written during vacations between 1929 and 1931, attest to both love and tension in their relationship. “I send you a big kiss, like the kiss you gave me when we parted,” Nadezhda wrote to her husband. She said she missed him and asked doting questions about his health and treatments. Stalin responded in kind. He tenderly called her Tatka and Tatochka (“Write about everything, my Tatochka”) and even resorted to baby talk. As a loving father, he was always asking about the children: “How are things with Vaska, with Setanka [his nickname for Svetlana]?” “Have Setanka write me something. And Vaska too.” He sent lemons and peaches home to his family. But this sweetness and consideration could suddenly be darkened by jealousy and irritation. In September 1930, after spending part of her husband’s vacation with him and then returning to Moscow, Nadezhda wrote him a letter filled with reproach: “This summer I didn’t feel that delaying my departure would make you happy; quite the opposite. Last summer I could really sense that, but not this time. Of course, there was no point staying with such a mood.” A few weeks later she wrote: “For some reason I’m not hearing anything from you.… Probably you’re distracted by your quail-hunting trips.… I heard from an interesting young woman that you looked great, … that you were marvelously cheerful and you wouldn’t let anyone sit still.… I’m glad to hear it.” Stalin made a halfhearted effort to dispute her implications: “As for your assumption that I did not consider it desirable for you to stay in Sochi, your reproaches … are unfair”; “You’re hinting at some trips. I’m telling you that I have not traveled anywhere (anywhere at all!) and I have no intention of traveling.”16
Nadezhda’s jealousy was not without grounds. Stalin could be a flagrant philanderer, and his wife was quick to take offense. Many who observed the relationship firsthand commented on Nadezhda’s frail mental health. Mental illness apparently ran in the family, afflicting her mother and at least one of her siblings. It is probably here, at the intersection of Stalin’s unfaithfulness and Allilueva’s mental illness, that the roots of the tragedy should be sought.
On 8 November 1932, the anniversary of the October Revolution that brought them all to power, Stalin and Allilueva joined other top Soviet leaders and their wives for a celebratory dinner at the Kremlin. The details of what took place at this dinner are unknown. Perhaps Stalin drank too much and started openly flirting with some of the wives.17 Perhaps Nadezhda was simply in a bad mood or Stalin said something hurtful to her. Or perhaps she was the one who provoked an argument. Whatever the cause, there was an argument, and Nadezhda returned to their Kremlin apartment alone. Sometime during that night she took her own life, using a small pistol that had been a gift from her brother Pavel.
Some have speculated that Allilueva was upset about her husband’s policies and felt ardent sympathy for their victims, including those dying from the devastating famine then taking millions of lives. Their daughter, Svetlana, wrote of a suicide note left by her mother that contained, among its grievances, political accusations, although she had no firsthand knowledge of this note and was citing other people’s descriptions of it. There is absolutely no hard evidence that Nadezhda objected to her husband’s policies. None of her surviving letters mentions the horrific events taking place in the country: violent collectivization, the internal deportations of hundreds of thousands of peasants, and the arrests of countless suspected “enemies.” Her letters give the impression that she, like the rest of the Bolshevik elite, was completely isolated from the suffering of tens of millions outside the Kremlin walls. On 10 July 1932, during the famine, when peasant mothers were watching their children starve to death, Nadezhda wrote a note to Stalin’s assistant Aleksandr Poskrebyshev complaining that she was not receiving her usual supply of new works of fiction from overseas and asked that the head of the OGPU, Yagoda, do something to fix the problem.18 Admittedly, we do not know for sure whether Nadezhda ever said anything against her husband’s repressive policies in the months before her death, in part because the usual correspondence between Stalin and his wife while he was away on vacation is missing for 1932. Perhaps these letters were destroyed, or perhaps Nadezhda was with her husband during his entire vacation. No evidence has been found to explain the absence of such letters.