Lock away horror and fear and outrage and pity—
I understand. Oh, yes!
The Eyes of the Helm rolled to focus on him as he took his place in front of Nysander; this was a blow that could not be struck from behind. Hideous moans split the air around them, blending with the cries from mortal throats nearby as he raised his arm to strike. Some part of him recognized Alec's voice among the others but he did not turn.
Nysander staggered, sank to his knees, arms extended on either side. Orbs of light burned in the hollow of each palm, illuminating the symbols that still showed on his skin.
"To protect your soul—"
The orbs flared and began to fade as the Helm blazed brighter. Even then Seregil might have hesitated if Nysander hadn't raised his head and looked up at him with eyes that glowed already with the same horrible light as the Helm. Something broke inside Seregil at the sight of those alien eyes staring up at him from that familiar, beloved face.
Raising his sword in both hands, he brought it down with all his strength.
The symbols Nysander had painted on the blade flashed out like lightning as it cleaved through iron, horn, and gold, shattering the great Helm of Seriamaius into a thousand ragged fragments that dissolved into shreds of shadow in the milky light of the returning sun.
A sudden wind filled with a thousand tortured voices roared down out of nowhere, smashing the waves against the rocks. Flinging the twisted, blackened sword away, Seregil fell to his knees and lifted Nysander's ruined head onto his lap, cradling the dead man in his arms. Another wave crashed in against the ledges, foaming around his knees, tugging at the dead man's legs.
You knew, Seregil thought as he gazed down into Nysander's face, plain and kind again in death.
You knew.
All along you knew.
youknewyouknewyouknewyouknew—
"You knew!" he screamed against the raging wind, blind to the friends gathered in horrified realization around him.
Bowed over Nysander's limp body, Seregil waited for the next wave to drag them both from the rocks and down into the trackless depths beyond.
51
Seregil watched the smoke from Nysander's pyre rise against the brilliant red and gold of the sunset and wondered why he couldn't weep.
Alec was crying softly beside him and Micum, too, as he lay supported by Beka, one broad hand over his eyes. Thero stood a little apart, tears streaming down his pale cheeks as the flames crackled up through the carefully stacked tinder and driftwood.
Seregil longed to join them. His grief was a dry, sharp-edged stone lodged in his chest; he could scarcely draw breath around it.
Rhal's sailors and Beka's soldiers stood in respectful silence on the opposite side of the pyre. Patrolling loyally off the coast, Rhal had seen the fire at the camp and taken it as a signal. Braving the crashing surf, he'd come ashore with twenty of his men in time to help Beka's raiders clear out the last of the Plenimarans. As word spread of Mardus' death, however, most of the remaining soldiers simply scattered into the hills to fend for themselves.
Afterwards, Beka and Rhal had marshaled their people together, clearing away the dead and all trace of the ceremony.
When the site was cleansed, they stacked a funeral pyre on the ledges below the basin, then stood aside as Seregil and Thero placed Nysander on the bed of oil-soaked kindling and sweet herbs.
Standing here now, watching unflinchingly as the flames blackened Nysander's skin and clothing, Seregil forced himself to recall the old wizard kneeling calmly among his paints and symbols, speaking words of encouragement.
But still the tears would not come.
Stars appeared overhead in the darkening sky and with them the comet, robbed now of its dread significance. The pyre began to settle in on itself and Nysander's corpse sank out of sight in a whirling cloud of sparks. Several of Rhal's men came forward and added more wood and oil, stoking the blaze until the heat of it pressed the onlookers back into the surrounding shadows.
With the solemnity of the funeral circle broken, people began to drift away. The fire would burn long into the night, reducing skin, bone, and wood alike to a fine ash for the tide and winds to scatter.
Turning, Seregil limped slowly up to the white stone and sat there waiting for some release.
None came; the emptiness he'd been plunged into from the moment he'd accepted Nysander's final charge still enveloped him, leaving him isolated, deadened inside. He could see Alec and the others gathered around Micum, a knot of shared comfort against the oncoming night.
He should be with them, he knew, but somehow he couldn't move. Sinking his head into his hands, he remained where he was, alone in the shadows where Nysander had stood awaiting his moment just hours before.
Some time later, he heard the sound of someone climbing up the rocks toward him. Looking up, he was surprised to see that it was Thero.
Worn and battered, dressed in borrowed clothes, he bore little resemblance to the prim young wizard Seregil had sparred with for so many years. Thero stared down at the pyre below for a moment before speaking.
"I wasted too many years being jealous of you," he said at last, still not looking at Seregil. "It hurt him, and I'd take it back if I could."
Seregil nodded slowly, sensing that there was more to be said between them but not knowing how to begin. Instead, he asked, "Will Micum be all right?"
"I think I've stopped most of the poison," Thero replied, sounding relieved to speak of practical things. "Still, even if he doesn't lose the leg, I doubt it will ever be much use to him."
"He's lucky to be alive at all. And the dyrmagnos?"
"She's finished. Alec saw to that."
"Good."
Another uncomfortable pause raveled out and Thero turned to leave.
"Thank you," Seregil managed, his voice thin and strained. "For helping Alec and all."
With a curt nod, Thero moved off through the shadows along the road.
Micum saw Thero leave.
"You go up to him," he croaked, looking up at Alec with fever bright eyes.
"He's right," Beka said, raising a cup of drugged wine to her father's lips. "It's not proper, him being alone now."
"I know. I've been thinking that all afternoon," Alec whispered miserably. "But I don't know what to do for him, what to say. We all loved Nysander, but not like he did. And then he had to be the one to—"
Reaching out, Micum closed a hot, dry hand over Alec's. "His heart is broken, Alec. Follow your own."
Alec let out a heavy sigh and nodded. Climbing the rocks, he walked over to where Seregil still sat on the rock, face lost in shadow.
"It's turning cold. I thought you might need this," Alec said, taking off his cloak and draping it over his friend's shoulders. Seregil mumbled a thank you, but didn't move.
Feeling desperately awkward, Alec rested a hand on Seregil's shoulder, then slid an arm around him. He'd half expected Seregil to shrug it off, or finally weep, but not the black waves of emptiness he felt, leaning there beside him. Something intrinsic in Seregil had fled or died; it was like touching a statue, a scarecrow.
A fresh trickle of tears inched down Alec's cheeks, but he didn't move, just stayed there, hoping
Seregil would draw some comfort from his nearness. His tongue felt like a dead thing in his mouth. Words were dead leaves lodged in his throat. What was there to say?
A breeze stirred, sighing through the forest at their backs, mingling its sound with the rhythmic surge of the waves. An owl sailed by close enough for Alec to hear its wings cutting the air. Its hooting call drifted back to them through the darkness.
They remained like this for some time before Seregil finally spoke, his voice barely audible. "I'm sorry, Alec. Sorry for everything."
"Nobody blames you. You did what you had to, just like the rest of us."