Chaz growled, a deep, threatening sound, as Jack came to my defense. “No. She might be turning, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still use her.”
“I don’t want her in the pack if she turns.” Nick, who had once saved my life by protecting me from Dillon, sounded more bored than anything else. “She was never really one of us. Plus she killed Alana, Cameron, and Dillon.”
“Don’t forget Vic Thomasian,” Nikki added helpfully.
Everyone turned to stare at me. I’m pretty sure my face was now the color of faded brick.
Nick ran his fingers through his short-cropped hair and continued as though Nikki hadn’t interrupted him. “I don’t know why we’re letting her live—something must be done about the losses she’s caused us. If her life is unacceptable, I know she’s supposed to join us and take their place, but I don’t think it’s right. She’s unstable.”
That was a laugh, coming from a Sunstriker. Of course, some of the other Weres in the back made soft sounds of agreement. Chaz was scanning the crowd with a tight expression, but he didn’t counter anything being said. This wasn’t looking good for me.
The girl who’d linked arms with Nick regarded me curiously. “Is this true? Would you continue to cause trouble for this pack after joining it?”
I gave her a flat stare. She didn’t flinch away, and the silence stretched so long that I felt obligated to fill it. “You must be new.”
“Yes. My name is Cindy. Cindy Bacon. I was part of the Timberpaws in Montreal, Quebec, but moved to join with the Sunstrikers a few weeks ago. I had no idea New York would be this exciting.” Her cheerful expression was at odds with the hint of fang I could see in her smile. Nick didn’t appear quite so pleased with her anymore. “It seems most of what I have heard about you on the supernatural grapevine was correct. They said you were a monster in human skin. Born to fight.”
The way she said it made it sound like a compliment.
“That doesn’t change anything,” one of the wolves in the back said. “She’s killed pack members. Something has to be done about that. We can’t just let it slide. It’s an insult. Makes us look weak to the other packs.”
Cindy shrugged and spoke up above the others, her eyes briefly flaring with a green luminescence in their depths. “She can fight. For now, that is all we need to know. You can decide what to do with her after she helps us deal with the Ravenwoods. They must pay.” Chaz gave the girl a look that had her cowering back. “I mean no disrespect, pack leader. Only that she could be a valuable asset in the fight to come.”
I gathered from Cindy’s words that the Ravenwoods were connected to whoever Chaz had been referring to when he said he knew who was behind the murders. Or had something to do with all of the people who had been infected outside of contracts, and that this somehow affected the Sunstrikers. Whatever the Ravenwoods had to do with it, they weren’t my problem, and there was no way I was going to get involved in the Sunstrikers’ mess.
“Hey, I’m right here, you know. No offense, but I would rather slit my wrists than be a Sunstriker. I’ll be sitting this fight out.”
Chaz turned that withering look on me. “The hell you say.”
“Yes, the hell I say,” I retorted, returning his look in kind. “I would have killed you if I could have. Still might, once I’m back on my feet. You might not have killed Jim Pradiz, but how about all those other people who were infected? How about what was done to me? To my family? You still have to answer for that.”
Simon cleared his throat. “Not saying what he did was right, but I think murder is a little extreme for a bit of infidelity.”
Chaz and I both glared him into silence. He raised his hands and took a step back, averting his gaze.
When Chaz turned back to me, he had plastered on a chagrined expression that might have been believable if I hadn’t already known he was so artful at lying and deceit. “Shia, really, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t want you to find out that way.”
“Don’t start this now,” I warned, the growl in my throat hitching on the dry, sore spots. “I’m still ready to tear your balls off and feed them to you, so don’t act like we’re friends again just because you pulled me out of that fire.”
“It’s lovely that you two want to talk things over, but we’re diverting off topic. We need manpower,” Jack said.
Nick smiled, the golden hoop on his lip glinting in the light. “You’ve got it, hombre. The Sunstrikers have almost fifty more pack members than the Ravenwoods. Most of us are of fighting age. We’ll mow them down.”
Cindy ruffled his hair. The two of them smiled at each other, like they were talking about going to dinner and a movie instead of a battle to the death.
“Shia, my offer still stands,” Jack said, drawing my attention back to him. “You can sit this one out if you want to. You’re too hurt to be much use, anyway. ”
Well. At least he was being honest about it.
“Thank you.”
Chaz looked back and forth between us. “Offer? What offer?”
I gave him as hostile a look as I could muster. “That’s none of your business.”
Jack shook his head and rose to his feet with a soft groan. For the first time since I had woken up, I noticed how tired he looked. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he looked like he’d lost weight over the last few days. That was somewhat alarming, considering he didn’t have much weight to lose to begin with. His illness was accelerating. This battle would probably be his last.
Then again, I’d thought the same when I had walked into that house a few days ago. If anything, that just went to show how little I knew. It was possible he’d prove me wrong and continue soldiering on for another decade or two.
Nikki gave him some support as he shuffled out of the room. The Sunstrikers all regarded me with expressions that ranged from ambivalence to curiosity. Save for Chaz. I couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. His eyes were hooded, his brows knitted, and he had a slight twist to his lips as though he was stuck somewhere between angry and amused.
“Would you excuse us?”
Chaz didn’t word it as a request. Nick, Simon, Cindy, and the other Weres followed in Jack and Nikki’s tracks without a word of protest.
He didn’t speak right away. Just looked down at me, arms folded across his broad chest, a muscle in his cheek twitching. He’d healed most of the silver burns on his face already, save for where I’d broken his skin. Those would leave behind telling, minor scars. One eye was a little swollen, and there was a bit of discoloration around his jaw, but that was all. Aside from that, and the missing tooth, you would never have known I’d smashed his face in just a few days ago.
“I know you don’t believe me, but I am sorry. For everything.”
I stared up at him, not replying.
“You were right. Going behind your back with Kimberly was a shitty thing to do. I shouldn’t have lied to you. Assuming you had slept with the vampire was... Well, I didn’t know what to think at the time. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, and for using it against you. You were right to try to kick my ass. I know it will never be enough, but ... I’m sorry.”
“Chaz,” I said, then paused, not sure what to say. He looked at me expectantly, like he half hoped that I would say everything was okay now, and we could go back to the way we had been. I looked into his puppy dog eyes, that tentative ray of hope in his gaze, and hated that he still had the power to move me. I’d thought my heart had been shredded into so many pieces that nothing was left to feel.
Instead of burning hatred, all I felt was exhaustion.