"Uh..." Sharon said slowly, "maybe this is a bad time. Why don't we tell them later?"
"Right," Nerdly said, nodding rapidly. "Sorry Jake. Sorry Helen. We didn't mean to... I mean, we didn't know that... I mean..." He shook his head and turned back toward the door, grabbing Sharon's hand and pulling her to the exit.
"Wait a minute," Jake said before they could get away. "What's going on?"
"Yeah," said Helen, who was keeping all but her face under the water. "What was so important that you had to come in here while we were... uh... enjoying ourselves?"
Nerdly didn't look back at them. "It can wait until morning," he said. "We'll leave you guys alone for now."
"Yes," Sharon agreed. "Sorry about the... uh... the intrusion."
"Goddammit!" Jake yelled. "You can't break in on people like that and not tell them what's going on! So what's going on?"
"Honestly," Nerdly said, "we didn't mean to... I mean... it can wait until..."
"Oh my God!" Helen suddenly yelled. "He asked you to marry him, didn't he?"
"What?" Jake asked.
Helen stood up in the water, exposing her breasts and her pubic region this time. "Look at her finger, Jake!" she squealed. "She has a ring on it!"
Sharon turned around and giggled. "Isn't it beautiful?" she asked. "He asked me on the top of the Eiffel Tower!"
"Oh..." Helen said, melting, now seemingly unaware that her body, which she had nearly fractured Jake's penis in order to avoid exposing, was openly on display. "That's sooooo romantic! Did he drop to one knee?"
"Yes!" Sharon said, jumping up and down. "It was the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me!"
"Let me see it!" Helen said, gesturing her to come over. "It looks huge from here."
Sharon rushed over and started showing off her new ring — which was indeed of impressive size. Nerdly turned around to join in the festivities but then blanched again as he was confronted with Helen's dripping nakedness.
"Ohhh... uh..." he stammered, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Jake muttered. He stood up, not caring if Sharon saw his now flaccid penis or not, and picked up Helen's robe. He put it over her shoulders, which was enough to remind her that she was naked in front of Nerdly.
"Oh... Jesus," she said, quickly putting her arms through the holes and pulling it closed around her. The bottom of it was sitting in the water and quickly soaking it up. "I guess I got a little carried away."
"Right," Jake said, stepping out of the tub and grabbing his own robe. He put it on and tightened it around him. "Look, I can see that congratulations are in order, but why don't we put that on hold for just a few minutes until Helen and I get dressed?"
"Oh... sure, okay," Nerdly said. "We'll uh... go wait in the sitting room."
"Right," Sharon said, still beaming. "We'll be in there. And sorry again for the uh... you know?"
"Nothing to worry about," Helen said, unable to resist giving Sharon a big hug, which served to wet the front of her baggy Notre Dame sweater.
The two of them disappeared through the door, shutting it behind them. Helen looked at Jake and smiled. "Isn't it amazing?" she asked him. "And did you see the size of the diamond on that ring? I don't think I've seen one that big before."
"Yeah," Jake said, his mind spinning a mile a minute, his penis still throbbing distantly in displeasure. "It's amazing all right."
"Did you know about this?" Helen asked him.
"I had no clue," Jake said.
"That's why he was so weird about going to the Eiffel Tower with us today," she said. "He wanted to take her there at night, alone."
"It does seem to all make sense now," Jake said. "Come on. Let's go get dressed."
"You don't seem all that happy about this, Jake," Helen observed. "Is there something wrong? He's your best friend and he just told you he's getting married and you're just moping around."
"I guess I'm still trying to absorb it," he said.
They dressed in their sweats and t-shirts and then padded barefoot out into the sitting room. Sharon and Nerdly both apologized again for walking in on them while they were in the middle of something but Helen told them not to worry about it, that it was perfectly understandable considering the circumstances.
"Tell me the story," Helen squealed at Sharon. "And don't leave anything out! But first... we need to celebrate. Jake, do you think maybe we could have some champagne sent up?"
"Of course," Jake said, leaning over and picking up the nearest phone. Two minutes later he had three bottles of Dom Perignon on their way to the suite.
Sharon then narrated the story of her proposal. She had thought something was strange about Bill ever since he bowed out of visiting the Eiffel Tower with Jake and Helen on the grounds that he was too tired. Things got stranger still when he elected not to take a nap upon arriving in their suite but had instead insisted that they watch French television for a few hours. And then, just before sunset, he suggested that they go out and visit the Eiffel Tower after all since he had managed to get reservations for the café on the first level.
"I asked him why he didn't want to go with you and Jake," Sharon said, "and he told me that he could only get reservations for two. I believed him. I mean, it sounded reasonable to me."
"And Nerdly never lies," Jake said. "Do you, Nerdly?"
"Not usually," Nerdly agreed. "But it seemed the truth would not behoove my intentions for the evening, would it?"
"Nope," Helen said. "What happened next?"
"Well, after we ate and he paid the bill, we went to the elevator to go up to the top. There was a long line, but when you eat in the café they let you cut to the front of it so it only took about five minutes for us to get up there.
"The view was just beautiful, even though it was kind of crowded with people. And then, just as we're looking out at the River Seine and all the lights of the city, he says that his shoe is untied and he kneels down to tie it. I kind of ignored this at first because I thought he was really tying his shoe and I wanted to keep looking at the view. And then..." She sighed. "He took my hand in his and looked up at me. I looked down and was wondering what this was all about. And then he pulled out this little white box and opened it up and said, 'Sharon, my feelings for you are more than just passing infatuation and I would like you to join me in the lifelong commitment of legally sanctioned cohabitation'."
Helen licked her lips a little. "Wow," she said slowly. "That's uh... deep."
"I know," Sharon said, squealing a little. "Isn't it the most romantic thing you've ever heard?"
"It's in the uh... the top ten," she said.
"So you said yes?" Jake asked.
"Of course I said yes," she said. "I stood up and I kissed him so hard he almost dropped the ring."
"Let me see it again," Helen said, grabbing her hand. "Jeez. Will you look at the size of it? It must be close to four carats."
"Four point three in the main stone," Nerdly said proudly, "and an additional one point six in the stones on the band."
"Have you been carrying that thing around with you all this time?" Jake asked.
"Yes," Nerdly said. "I formulated my proposal plan back around the time I decided to ask her to go on tour with us. I purchased the ring at Tiffany's shortly before our departure."
"It fits perfectly!" Sharon said. "He measured my finger one night while I was asleep!"
Helen beamed at him again. "Did you really do that?" she asked.
"Indeed," he said. "It would not be proper to give an ill-fitting piece of jewelry that is supposed to be a symbol of my commitment to my future spouse."
There was a knock on the door. Jake answered it and found the room service steward with the champagne, the ice buckets, and four long-stemmed glasses. He let him in and soon the congratulatory beverage was ready to be consumed. Jake tipped the steward and then ushered him out. He then popped the top on the first bottle and poured them each a glassful.
"Why don't you make a toast, Jake?" Helen suggested.