"Nor am I," Nerdly said. "I feel sorry for Darren, but he formulated his own equation and now he has to live with the results of the calculation it produced."
Matt was shaking his head again. "Fuckin' bullshit," he told them. "You two are a couple of goddamn traitors!"
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Matt," Jake said. "I'm just doing what I think is best for the band."
"It doesn't fuckin' matter anyway," Matt said. "Freakboy is still gone, no matter how you two vote."
Jake blinked. "How's that?"
"You and Nerdly are voting not to kick him out. Me and Coop are voting to kick him out. Darren is still a member of this band, isn't he? He still gets to vote on this shit, doesn't he?"
Jake and Nerdly looked at Pauline. "Well... he does have a point there," she said. "Under the contract, Darren is still a member of the band with all the rights and privileges."
"Well there you have it then," Matt said. "Darren gets to vote too. How do you think he's going to vote on this, Jake? You think he's going to take your side?"
"If Darren gets to vote on this," Jake said, "than so does Charlie."
"Oh no," Matt said. "Freakboy don't get to vote on his own dismissal. The rules are pretty clear in the contract. If a majority of the band members wants his ass out, then he's a gone motherfucker."
"Uh... actually, Matt," Pauline said. "There is nothing that says Charlie can't vote on the issue of his own dismissal."
"What?" he yelled, turning toward her. "What kind of bullshit is this? You're making this shit up as you go along!"
Pauline showed her first real spark of anger. "No, Matt," she said firmly. "I am not. And I sternly resent the implication that I would side with Jake over you and make things up in order to do it. I am a lawyer and I deal in issues of the law impartially and in black and white. Do you understand?"
Amazingly, Matt seemed almost cowed by her outburst. "Yeah," he mumbled. "I understand."
"Good," Pauline said. "Now here is the situation as it relates to your contract. There is nothing in the contract that prohibits any band member from voting on the issue of their own dismissal. It simply says that a majority vote of the band is required before a member can be fired. So what we have here, basically, is a Mexican standoff. You, Coop, and Darren vote that Charlie should go. Jake, Nerdly, and Charlie vote that he should stay. The same situation comes up if we try to hit things from a different angle. If there's a motion to kick Darren out of the band instead, Jake, Nerdly, and Charlie will undoubtedly vote for it, you, Coop, and Darren will vote against it. It's a tie vote. No majority is able to decide."
"How about the band's manager casts the deciding vote?" Jake said.
"Oh get the fuck out of here with that shit!" Matt yelled. "Let your fucking sister decide this? That's fair, isn't it?"
"Whether or not it's fair is immaterial," Pauline said. "There is nothing in the contract that allows me or anyone else to cast a vote in order to break a tie so it wouldn't be binding. No one anticipated there being six people in the band at any point. We figured that since there were five of you, a tie vote would be impossible. There is no provision in the contract to solve this problem. You're going to have to find some way to work it out on your own."
"So if you did have a vote," Matt asked her. "Who would it be for?"
"It would be to get rid of Darren and keep Charlie," Pauline said.
"Shocking that you would take Jake's side," Matt said bitterly.
"Once again, Matt," she said, "I resent the implication that I'm siding with Jake because he's my brother. I take the position I take because I'm your manager — everyone's manager — and it's what I think is best for the band."
"And what about you, Crow?" Matt asked. "What is National's position on this?"
"We have no position," Crow said. "We don't care who you keep and who you kick out, but we do demand you make a decision quickly and get to work on your next album. Your deadline for submission is fast-approaching and we will not tolerate a lack of productivity."
Matt shook his head angrily. "That's kind of what I figured you'd say. You and your people are about as spineless as one of those fucking tapeworms Freakboy's always ranting about."
"Look, Matt," Pauline said. "I don't see how we're going to solve this issue by throwing insults around and cussing at everyone. We need to talk and figure out what we're going to do. Someone is going to have to back down on this."
"It ain't gonna be me," Matt said. "I'm the one who is right here and every one of you motherfuckers knows it. We agreed Freakboy was a temp, so he's the one who should go. I'm the leader of this fucking band and you should all be following my direction instead of using a bunch of goddamn technicalities in the contract to undermine me."
"Nobody is trying to undermine anyone," Jake said. "When you add up the pros and cons of the decision, Charlie clearly comes out the winner. He's a better bass player, he's more reliable, he's less likely to let drug use interfere with his work, and he already knows the material from our last album. If we go back to Darren, we'll have to teach him all of the tunes from Book and Action, some of which, quite frankly, I'm not sure he's capable of learning."
"I hadn't thought about that," Crow suddenly said. "That will add to the time it takes to put the tour together."
"It won't add that much time," Matt said. "And Darren can be taught any fucking rhythm that Freakboy came up with."
"Nevertheless, Matt," Crow said. "Now that this delay has been pointed out to me, I'm afraid I much change my previous stance of neutrality. I must advocate for the retention of Charlie Meyer as Intemperance's bass player."
"Well you ain't the one making the decision now, are you?" Matt asked. He looked at Pauline. "Right?"
"Right," she agreed. "It has to be a band decision. The contract specifically states that National can fire the entire band if they want, but they cannot fire any individual member."
"And you'll recall," Jake told Matt, "that the reason we fought so hard for that provision was because of Darren's drug use and the fact that National wouldn't do anything about it."
"That has nothing to do with what's going on now," Matt said.
"True, but it does serve to illustrate my point about his history, doesn't it? The very portion of the contract that has put us in this position was put in there because of Darren's propensity to use drugs."
"I ain't backing down on this!" Matt yelled. "My vote is for Darren and there ain't a motherfuckin' thing in the world that's gonna change that. I'll let National file a breach of contract lawsuit and I still ain't changing my mind. Jake, either you or Nerdly needs to vote for Darren or there ain't gonna be no next album."
"Now wait just a minute here!" Crow said forcefully. "I must insist that..."
"Insist later," Jake said. He looked at Matt, his eyes staring into Matt's eyes. "I'm not backing down on this either, Matt. I know it's not what I agreed to back in the beginning, but that's just the way it is. Charlie is the one who belongs in this band, not Darren. You are letting your misplaced loyalty for a man who has proven himself unworthy of it get in the way of your better judgment and common sense."
"Common sense?" Matt yelled, suddenly standing up from his chair. "You want me to show you some fuckin' common sense? Common sense tells me I should start beating your ass right now!"
Chapter 15b
Jake did not stand, did not rise to the bait. "I've told you this before, Matt," he said mildly, "and I'll tell you again. This isn't high school. You don't win just because you can kick my ass. I will tell you that if you lay a hand on me in anger, you and I will never play music together again."