Jake and Helen rode with Jake's parents back to their house. Since they'd stayed the first night there they figured they might as well stay the second as well. They arrived home shortly before six o'clock that evening, all of them tired, hot, and more than a little drunk. All four of them went directly to bed. Jake wasn't sure what his parents did behind their closed door — and, in truth, he didn't really want to know — but he and Helen engaged in a lengthy session of sultry sexual activity before drifting off to a contented sleep. None of the four emerged from their rooms until the next morning.
The hangovers were light when they did get up to face the day, so everyone was in the mood for the monstrous breakfast that Mary constructed. There was bacon, sausage, pancakes, fried potatoes, and an enormous platter of scrambled eggs with ham and cheese. They sat around the kitchen table, munching contentedly while they sipped coffee and drank glass after glass of Mary's fresh-squeezed orange juice. It was after, when the plates had been pushed away but before the dishes were cleared, that Jake's father dropped somewhat of a bombshell.
"So," he said casually, "your mother and I are going to retire at the end of the year."
Jake looked up, unsure he'd heard correctly. "Retire?" he asked. "Both of you?"
He nodded. "I've been with the ACLU for a long time now. I've fought the good fight and I like to think I've contributed to some significant changes over the course of my tenure, but it's time to call it a career and enjoy the fruits of my labors."
"And I've been with the philharmonic for thirty-three years now," Mary said. "I think I'm ready to put my fiddle down."
"Wow," Jake said. "Well... it sounds like you've thought this through."
"We have," his father said. "There's something else we wanted to talk to you about though."
"What's that?" Jake said carefully, part of him fearing that he was about to say they were going to divorce as well.
His mother read the expression on his face. "Nothing like that, Jake," she said with a chuckle. "We intend to do the whole 'until death do us part' thing. At our age it's kind of hard to find someone else you can tolerate sleeping in the same bed with."
Jake and Helen both laughed. "Okay," Jake said. "You had me worried there for a minute. So what is it?"
"Well," Tom said, "right about now, Bill is probably getting the same talk from Stan and Cindy. They're planning to retire at the same time. We're both planning to sell our houses and move somewhere else."
Jake grinned. "Fuckin' A!" he said, happy. For years he had been trying to get them to sell this small house and move into something bigger. He and Pauline had both offered to buy them whatever they wanted, but they'd always refused. "It's about time. Do you have something in mind? Will you let Pauline and I help you?"
Tom and Mary shared a look with each other, a look that was part happiness, part subtle shame. "As a matter of fact..." Tom said, "... yes, we may need a little help. You know we hate asking, but we've had our eye on a little piece of land up in Cypress County, just up in the foothills."
"Dad, Jesus Christ," Jake said. "You know we'd both love to help you out. How much do you need? I'll write you a check right now."
"We're not sure yet," Tom said. "We may not even need your help at all. This house is completely paid off and, since it is the house that Jake Kingsley grew up in, it's worth an obscene amount of money. The other houses on this street are selling for around a hundred and ten thousand dollars. I've been told that we could auction this one off and get at least three hundred thousand for it, possibly as much as half a million."
"Sweet," Jake said, nodding appreciatively. Helen seemed quite astounded.
"Stan and Cindy's house isn't worth quite as much," Tom said, "but it's still worth about a hundred thousand more than the other houses on their block because of Bill. They can probably get two-fifty to three hundred for it."
"That's nice," Jake said, wondering what that had to do with them. His father told him.
"Stan and Cindy are looking at going in on this property with us," he said. "Equal partners all the way, and they would live on it with us."
Jake raised his eyebrows up a little bit. "You're going to move in with Stan and Cynthia?" he asked slowly. Was there something about this friendship he hadn't been told or hadn't guessed at over the course of his lifetime?
Once again, his mother seemed to read his mind. She blushed furiously for a second, and then got angry. "You get your mind out of the gutter right this instance, Jacob Kingsley!" she barked at him, using a voice he hadn't heard since perhaps eighth grade.
"What?" Tom said, puzzled. "What are you..." Realization dawned on him. "Oh my God," he said, shaking his head strenuously. "That is not what we're saying at all, Jake. Jesus. How could you think something like that?"
"Something like what?" Helen asked carefully. "I think I missed something."
"He was thinking that me and Tom and Stan and Cindy are some kind of... of... swingers or something," Mary said with disgust. "I can't believe that would even cross your mind, Jake."
"You were thinking that?" Helen asked, astonished. "About your parents? Jake, that's kind of... well... twisted."
"Sorry," Jake said, embarrassed now. "It didn't seem plausible or anything. It's just that I live in Hollywood and there's all kinds of weird things going on there and... well... you know... you just said you're going to be living with Stan and Cynthia. You have to admit that is a little strange."
"We're not going to be living together, Jake," Tom said, a little exasperated now. "If you would've let me finish explaining..." He shook his head again. "Wow. This conversation is not going exactly like I expected."
"I'm sorry," Jake said again. "Let's just forget that ever happened. Tell me about this property."
Tom nodded. "Okay," he said. "It's two hundred and fifty acres about two miles off Highway 38. It sits on a hilltop overlooking the Heritage River Canyon, about twelve miles from Cypress. Our plan is to build two houses on the property, one for your mother and I, one for Stan and Cindy. The houses would be at either end of the property, almost a quarter mile apart, and each completely self-contained."
"That way," Mary said, "we would be living very close to our best friends, but we would still be far enough away to maintain a separate identity."
"Ohhh," Jake said, feeling even more embarrassed now. "I see."
"The land itself is not that expensive... well, in a relative sort of way. We can get it for $1.1 million. Between the money we'll get for our houses and the money we each have in our savings and investments, we will be able to buy the land outright and hold it free and clear."
"Are you sure that's the best way to go about it, Dad?" Jake asked. "Why don't you let me talk to Jill about this? I seem to remember her saying that it's actually a better idea to take out a loan on the acquisition of property. That way, the interest that you pay is..."
"Jake," his dad interrupted. "I'm sorry, but whether it makes sense or not, we've already decided we want to own our land outright. It's just the way we are."
Jake nodded. "Okay," he said. "I can respect that."
"Our plan is to use the value of the land, once it's free and clear, to secure construction loans for the building of our houses, prepping of the land, and all those incremental costs. You have experience in that. You're going through that right now with that land you bought in New Zealand."
"Yes, I do," Jake agreed. And he did at that. The property he'd looked at outside Christchurch had just cleared escrow and was officially his. He was now in the process of improving the land for construction and having his dream home designed by the most prestigious architecture firm in the Christchurch area.