"Uh... well... I saw one once," he said, blushing. "It was at a friend's bachelor party."
"Did you like it?" she asked him.
"It was... you know... all right. I'm not really into that sort of thing... but... you know."
"Of course, hon," she said. "Well I'm here to tell you that I've never faked a genuine orgasm."
"Really?" he asked.
"Really," she confirmed.
He wandered off, pondering that information, not realizing until later that she hadn't actually answered his question at all.
Later, a mid-thirties woman wearing a smart pantsuit and a designer blouse, her hair done just right, approached and gave a steely glare at Kim.
"Something I can help you with?" Kim asked her.
"I was just curious," the woman said, "as to why you thought it the least bit appropriate that a woman such as yourself would show up at a family event such as this. Don't you have any propriety?"
Matt opened his mouth to say something but Kim dropped her hand to his leg, stopping him. She fielded the question personally.
"Are you just jealous of me?" she asked the woman.
"Jealous?" the woman asked incredulously. "Of you?"
"Yeah," Kim said. "After all, I get paid to have some guy stick his cock up my ass and you let your husband do it for free."
The woman was reduced to nonsensical mutterings like "well!" and "I never!". She stomped off and was not seen or heard from again.
Jake began to understand why Matt liked the porn star so much. She was basically a female version of himself.
Eventually things settled down a bit and they were able to enjoy the game. This was fortunate because it turned out to be a pretty good one. The Dolphins came out to an early lead in the second inning by driving in three runs on a series of singles. The streak — while damaging — was brought to an end by star shortstop Helen Brody, who did what the position called for and stopped two line drives short of the outfield. The first she hurled to second base for what turned out to be a double play. The second, she caught on the fly, snapping out her hand and nabbing it neatly from flight for the third out.
The Vixens came back with two runs in the third inning and then two more in the fifth, putting them up on top by one. Helen — who had come into the game with a .415 batting average — was involved in two of the runs, hitting an RBI in the third and being driven in herself in the fifth.
The Dolphins answered back with a two run homer in the top of the seventh and final inning, putting them back up by one. The Vixens took the field for their last at-bat and quickly grounded out twice in a row, making it look like things were pretty much wrapped up. This was not to be, however. Two of the Vixens hit back-to-back singles, putting them on first and third base respectively.
This brought Helen to the plate. She hit a long foul ball her first pitch, took two balls in a row for the next two, and then hit another foul ball for the fifth. The sixth pitch — which would have been an out if hit foul again — sailed over the plate and she hammered it down the first base line, just barely dropping it inside fair territory. It rolled all the way to the fence before the outfielder could get her hand on it. She threw it to the cut-off girl who hurled it toward home, but by then it was too late. Two runs had scored, ending the game with a score of 6-5, Vixens. They were now the regional women's softball champions.
The entire team, and most of their family and friends who had gathered to watch, caravanned over to the Riverview Bar and Grill in downtown Ventura for a celebration. Jake, Helen, Matt, and Kim went with them. Jake bought everyone in the house their first round of drinks. Matt bought everyone the second round. Kim, not to be outdone, bought the third. These gestures served to make them extremely popular with everyone in the bar — even if the feeling was only temporary. Though many people came up to chat with the celebrities in their midst, no one asked for an autograph and no one posed any inflammatory questions.
The exception to this was the reporters among them. Half a dozen or so had followed the group to the bar. After enjoying three free drinks courtesy of the celebrities they were stalking, they began to move in, hoping that the lips of their targets would be loosened by the beer. They weren't. When it became obvious to the members of the crowd that the reporters were annoying the foursome, they moved in and, using thinly veiled threats of violence, gradually convinced the reporters that this was not exactly a friendly environment for them. One by one, they left, although they didn't go far. They staked out the parking lot, waiting for their targets to leave so they could follow them.
The celebration of victory went on for almost two hours. Jake met every member of Helen's team and every friend of Helen's teammates. He shook hands, engaged in friendly conversation, and, to his surprise, actually found himself having a good time. Matt and Kim seemed to be having a good time as well, although no matter how many times Kim told people to call her by her given name, they still called her Mary Ann or Miss Cummings.
At one point, when the two women went off together to go to the ladies room (with a gaggle of hanger-ons trailing behind them), Jake and Matt made their way up to the bar to score another round of drinks.
"Did you tell Helen about the tour yet?" Matt asked.
"No," he said. "I was waiting for a better time. I'm not sure how she's gonna react."
"I thought you two were just booty call buds," Matt said. "Is it getting to be more then that?"
Jake shrugged. "I'm not sure how to define this relationship just yet," he admitted. "We each have our own lives that we lead independently of each other, but at the same time... well, we're starting to see each other a lot more too. And not just for sex."
"Yeah," Matt said. "I know where you're coming from."
"Oh?" Jake said. "Have you told Kim about the tour yet?"
"Not yet," he said. "I'll lay it on her tomorrow sometime. Maybe on the flight to Bodega."
"That would force me to tell Helen at the same time," Jake told him.
"I'll hold off if you want," Matt said. "Maybe it would be better to wait until after the trip anyway."
"No," Jake said, "I think you're right. We should tell them tomorrow. You know how women are. If we put it off until after the trip they'll be pissed off at us for waiting so long."
"Kind of interesting," Matt said.
"What's that?"
"That I'm worried about a woman getting pissed off at me. I mean, sure, I've pissed off lots of bitches in my time, but it was always easier just to get rid of them when that happened. This is the first time I've had to think about the aftermath of it."
"Maybe you're growing up," Jake suggested.
"Naw," Matt said, scoffing at the idea. "It just means I've finally found some premo puss and I don't want to stop fucking it yet."
To their surprise, both women took the news in stride when it was broken to them five thousand feet above the California central coast. Neither seemed particularly happy about it, but they shrugged it off.
"You're a touring musician," Helen said from her position in the front seat. "You have to go out on tour, don't you?"
"Yeah," said Kim, who was sitting in the cramped back seat next to Matt. "It sounds like a lot of fun, actually."
"How long will you be gone?" Helen asked.
"It's not certain that we're even going yet," Jake said. "National wants to play games on the touring contract and we told Pauline that we won't accept anything less than one hundred percent of the tour costs paid by them. They might just decide to scrap the whole thing."
"Do you really think so?" Helen asked.
"It's possible," Jake said, making a minute adjustment to their heading to compensate for the onshore wind, which seemed to be a little stronger then he'd been told in the weather report.
"How likely though?" Kim asked.
"They'll probably cave," Matt said. "It's like Jake is always saying, National goes with the option that makes them the most money. Even if they paid for every last aspect of this tour, they still stand to make a lot more then they're putting out in increased album sales revenue."