“Your choice of weapons, of course.” Dev crossed his hands over his chest. He spoke casually as though they were planning a dinner meeting. “We can do it this evening. I believe I have time around five o’clock, though I will have to check my schedule.”
“Weapons?” I didn’t like where this was going.
Declan turned to look at me like I’d done something wrong. “Yes, weapons, Zoey. My own brother means to try to kill me in a duel because I touched your breasts. You’re the one who pulled my hand up there. It would have been rude to not play with them. I hope you’re happy.”
I was so done with Declan. “So if I slap the shit out of him, do I get to fight him, too?”
“I am not fighting my brother and I am not fighting a girl,” Declan shouted. He shook his head. “Fine. Just fine. I am sorry, brother. I apologize for cuddling with your goddess. Next time, I will just remain cold. I will freeze to death rather than touching your precious goddess. Zoey, I apologize for finding your body so luscious. Can we not fight now?”
“I will think on it,” Dev replied magnanimously. I got the feeling that Declan Quinn didn’t often offer apologies.
Albert appeared at the door. He looked over the chamber with a frown and a sad shake of his horns. “Breakfast is ready. If you’re done shouting, you may all partake in the dining room. I shall, of course, set a few more places. Will you be eating this morning, mistress, or are you continuing to shun sustenance?”
“I’ll eat.”
“Very good,” he said gravely, and I knew I better eat a lot. He would be monitoring my intake. God, I hoped there wasn’t any tofu.
I watched as Albert exited with a formal nod. “You know, for a slave he is really bossy, Dev.”
Declan got up and Padric handed him a robe from a satchel. “I will see that he is settled in the guest room.”
Declan huffed and stormed out.
Padric picked up the luggage and gave Dev a slight smile. “It is good to see you, Prince Devinshea. Your brother has missed you greatly. Please take into account that it has only been a year and a half in our time. He still sees you as you were. It is difficult for him to think you have grown up because in many ways, he has not. He is still only twenty-two while you are now the older brother. It will be a hard change for him.”
“I thank you for your guidance,” Dev said formally, bowing his head.
Padric started out the door but stopped. “And Devinshea, your mother does indeed miss you. She is stubborn as well, but she deeply regrets what she did in fear. We will speak more at breakfast. Miria asked me to accompany Declan fully this time. I am to be here physically to act as her envoy. I fear he is going to push you away when he should bring you closer.” The white-haired man turned and left.
Dev shoved a frustrated hand through his hair and sat back down on the bed. I crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around him. “Who exactly is this Padric person? I thought he was a guard, but he seemed like something more just now. I wouldn’t have expected him to speak to Declan the way he did.”
“He is a royal guard,” Dev replied. “He’s also my mother’s lover and has been for a hundred years. Even when she was married to my father, it was Padric who held her heart. When I was younger, he was the man who forced my father away. Even when I left the sithein, I hated him. Now, looking back with older eyes, I can see that he tried to be a father. It was difficult for him to understand me. He’s a warrior as Declan is a warrior. I was something different. Still, when some of the royal house suggested I be left to die for my impurities, it was Padric who threatened to kill any who touched me. I was unfair to him.”
“You were a child in a difficult situation,” I said, hugging him close. “Treat him fairly now. Show him the man you have become and give him credit for some of it. That will be enough for him.”
Dev brought my hand to his lips. “Are you terribly angry at the way my brother treated you?”
I laughed a little. “Not really, baby. He didn’t mean any harm. I doubt he’ll try it again since he doesn’t fight girls. I was just disappointed it wasn’t Daniel. I thought he had come back. Is he in that coffin?”
“Yes,” Dev replied solemnly. “I believe he intends to use it the entire trip. As you can see this is not a light-tight shelter.”
“It’s more than that and you know it. If he’d been sleeping with us and feeding off your magic, he could handle this light with no problem. Do you know what he’s planning?”
“I believe I’ve figured out some of it,” Dev confirmed.
“Is he going to leave us?”
Dev moved to face me and took my hands in his. “Would it be so bad if it was just the two of us?”
“I love you, Dev. If it were just the two of us, I would be content. Is that what you and Daniel have decided to do?” I measured my words carefully. It wouldn’t be the first time the boys had made life-changing decisions without bothering to consult me. They always had their reasons. Usually it was about protecting me. I also tried not to let them get away with it.
“Keep me out of this fight,” Dev said, shaking his head with a weary sigh. “I do not agree with him but when Daniel decides something, I’m certainly not the one who can dissuade him.”
I felt his pain. He was in a relationship where he felt like the one who was expendable. It was an old wound but quite capable of reopening at the slightest provocation. If Danny walked out, Dev would worry that I would follow him. Dev would also worry that I would blame him for losing Danny. It was a difficult position for Dev to be in, always walking a fine line. The things Felix had said were all coming back now. It was far past time we all made some serious decisions that didn’t involve what side of the bed the boys liked.
I cradled Dev’s cheeks in my hands and stared into the face of my lover before kissing him sweetly. “What do you want, Devinshea?”
It was a question no one thought to ask him most of the time.
His face went still, but he didn’t pull away. “I want you.”
“Is that all?”
It took him the longest time to answer, as though he was deciding just how much to tell me. “I want us. I want the three of us. I want you and me and Daniel. Maybe Daniel doesn’t feel the same way. He didn’t grow up as I did. He didn’t have a brother. I’m happier with one, though the one I have is a bit of an ass. I want you for love and Daniel for companionship. They’re both intimate relationships. I’ve never been as happy as I am when we’re truly together. Daniel doesn’t feel the same way, and I cannot force him to care for me, Zoey.”
We lay back on the bed together, Dev pressing his head to my chest. I let my fingers play in his hair. “I think he cares about you more than he lets on. He’s not great about expressing himself. I don’t know what he’s planning and if you do then keep it to yourself. Confidences between the two of you are just that. I’m not going to ask you to betray him. But I want to fight for him, Dev. I want to let him know he can’t just walk away from us.”
He nodded. “I think you should let him know that. He needs to hear it from you. He loves you, Zoey. No matter what he says, no matter what he has planned, he loves you. He’s being an idiot because he can’t stand the thought of losing you.”
“Dev, we need to fight for him together,” I corrected him. “I want to go to Daniel together and let him know what we need. He owes both of us. We both owe him. I think the first thing we need from him is a promise to talk to us rather than arbitrarily deciding what’s best.”
“I don’t know, Zoey. I might just confuse the issue.”