She still loves me…She still loves me…She still loves me…this is my mantra.
I make my way back to her, but my face falls when I find the booth empty. I rub my face. Fucking, stupid asshole! I kick myself for ruining it.
She still loves me…why am I ruining it?
I double back hoping to find her somewhere and slam straight into her, knocking her off her feet. My arms fly around her instantly and I catch her before she falls. I pause, breathing hard, our bodies pressed together and our faces so close. I’m holding every inch of her tight against me and the feeling is incredible. I could just lean forward a couple of inches and our lips would touch.
She still loves me…don’t push it.
I shake my head, not yet, I remind myself and gently stand her back up, releasing her once she is balanced. “Shit, sorry,” I murmur regaining my senses. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” I suddenly panic, scanning her up and down for some sign that I’ve caused her harm.
“I’m fine,” she breathes.
“I didn’t know where you were.” I offer as a feeble explanation.
She gestures at the counter, where two coffees are sitting, waiting. “Everyone was busy, I made us coffee. Can’t carry them though.” She shrugs and passes me, returning to the booth. I grab them and follow her.
“You shouldn’t be doing that, get someone else to do it for you, it’s what you pay them for.” I frown then smile a tight smile, realising the irony of my point.
“I’m perfectly capable of standing up long enough to make a coffee.” She scoffs. “Besides, I’m not paying you, so I couldn’t ask you to do it now could I?”
I shake my head, but this time, in amusement. “You're so stubborn. I don’t want money from you and that’s final.” I hold her stare, assuring her that I’m not budging. “It’s bad enough I eat here and can’t pay for it.”
“You shouldn’t be here if you have your own work to do though.”
“It’s fine. I do a little each day and I’m way ahead of schedule. I kind of threw myself into it after…um, when I had some time on my own.” I correct. I don’t want to dampen things discussing that grief-stricken time after she left.
“Okay.” She concedes. “But please don’t kill yourself.”
Peace is restored and we talk shop while we finish our coffees. I help her back up to her flat and then, before I start work, I run down to the ATM to check my balance.
A smile spreads over my face as I slowly walk away holding the balance slip. I opened an account here last week and transferred my savings over. I’ve left just enough behind to pay off my final bills, credit cards and utilities. Jen is handling it all for me. The guy that valued the Shelby called me on the day of Liv’s accident, which I ignored. But he was persistent, so eventually I called him back and it turned out he knew a collector interested in buying the old girl. I hesitated for a moment until he offered enough money to buy a house! Dad met with him on my behalf and negotiated in a way only Dad can. He threw in all the spares and tools I’d accumulated fixing her up and got a great return for me, which arrived in my account yesterday. It looks a little less in £’s but combined with my not-too-shabby savings, I have quite a nest egg.
I’ve worked really hard and made a name for myself in an industry that pays someone with my skills well. I’ve had very low living expenses apart from the Shelby, which turned out to be an excellent investment, so I’ve saved a lot over the last few years. That money on top of the car money will buy us a house. A nice one. It will pay for a wedding and a honeymoon. I may feel like I wasted my twenties not being with Liv, but heartbreak kept me unattached and with a strong work ethic that has secured our future. It’s sad that the Shelby has gone, but she has paid the way to my life with Liv and I won’t regret selling her for a second. Tomorrow, I’m going to buy a car – a sensible one – and get a cell phone. Then all I need is to get the girl. No going back.
She still loves me…
Chapter Ten
Danny
I’ve never needed you more.
She still loves me…
Ever since yesterday when I asked her the question, her burning gaze and affirming nod have played over and over again in my head. All through the evening at work, if my brain diverted for a second away from the constant stream of Saturday night customers, I would see those eyes, that nod.
She still loves me….
Max has stepped back now, leaving us to figure it out for ourselves. But I know I have a lot to thank him for. Although he isn’t saying, I know he and Charlie gave Liv a stern talking to yesterday. Why else would she suddenly visit me and even watch me sleep, then ask to meet me in the bar? I’m certain he knows about our conversation yesterday afternoon and even if he didn’t the look on my face must have given me away. But he isn’t making anything of it so that Liv and I can quietly start repairing things.
She still loves me…so my new life starts here.
I survey the cars on the forecourt of the Land Rover dealership. I had it all planned out. As soon as I realised I would be moving here, I knew which car I would buy.
In LA, everything is big. I mean, lots of folks have succumbed to the lure of the hybrids and many celebrities are throwing their weight around about the whole issue. If they stopped to find out the facts about the massive environmental impact of actually producing these ‘green cars’ they might hush. Anyway…I’ve looked at Range Rovers before, but I had an adequate truck and I had my baby, so I couldn’t really justify it. But I knew that when I came to buy my next car, this is where I would end up. Now that I’m standing here, however, in the UK, these cars seem so…big. Too big really. But I like them.
A couple of hours later I emerge with handful of paperwork. They had one in a dealership in the north somewhere, with all the specs I wanted. So I took the plunge, ordered it and it will be delivered in a few days. It feels indulgent, but I can’t settle here yet, not like I want to, not without Liv, so I’ve indulged. So what? I know I will feel more rooted if I’ve something physical here and I can’t wait. I walk back through town and head to the cell phone store.
She still loves me…
When I get back to the bar, I go looking for Max. I know he will love the car brochure I’ve brought back with me and I want to show Liv too. She’ll be surprised I’m sure. She hasn’t asked me what my long-term plans are yet, but buying a car here should show beyond doubt that I’m intent on sticking around. I’d buy a house too, but I couldn’t do it without her, I wouldn’t want to.
She still loves me…it will happen, in time.
Max isn’t behind the bar, or in the kitchen. Liv isn’t in the diner. I shrug and go back to the bar. I hear Max’s voice coming from the store room.
“Of course, it’s going to take time to get back to where you were. You just have to take things slowly, you’ll get there.
It’s what you want deep down and you know it.” I freeze beside the slightly open door, then I hear Liv’s voice.
She sighs. “I just don’t see how I can get past it. How can I trust him after all this?”
“It won’t happen all at once, you’ll take it slow.”