“Max likes to keep all of his guests happy.” I giggle, secretly pleased he knew which was my favourite.
I try to sit forward and reach the shower head, but with one leg out of the bath it isn’t easy.
“Would you let me do it for you?” He asks cautiously, kneeling beside me.
I look up to him and smile. I nod my head slowly, knowing I’m allowing an intimacy that I shouldn’t be ready for, but it’s too appealing to say no.
Danny sets to work adjusting the water temperature before he wets my hair. I grasp the handles either side of the bath to keep me sitting up and tip my head back. Danny tentatively smoothes my hair down with his hand under the jet of water. Then he turns it off and pours some shampoo into his hand. As his fingers begin to massage my scalp, I can’t help the contented sigh that escapes me. It feels so good to be close to him again, I can feel my resolve weakening.
Danny rinses out the shampoo gently. “One more?” he asks.
“Mmmm. Please.”
He dutifully does another shampoo and then once the conditioner is in he sits back and wipes his hands on a towel. I love that he knows I will want to leave the conditioner in for a while and I smile a little to myself.
“So you bought a car?” I say, for no particular reason. I don’t know what else we can talk about.
“Yeah. I need to get around you know.” He seems defensive.
“I know, but that’s a big deal. A new car.” I hesitate. Should I ask him if he plans to stay?
He speaks before I have to decide. “I’ve looked at them before, in LA. But I never really justified it to myself. I just thought, what the hell.”
“It’s nice,” I say, bottling out of asking.
“Thanks. When I saw it, I knew you would like it.” He seems a little shy.
I’m flattered that I was even a consideration in choosing his car, but it also feels like a lot of pressure on me to take him back. Silence again…I want to ask him where he will live if he is staying, but I can’t, because I know he wants to live with me and I can’t promise him that. I don’t want to know his plans almost as much as I do, it’s infuriating.
“Shall I rinse your hair?” he asks, sensing a need for a change of subject.
After he has finished rinsing it he gently wraps it up in a towel. “Do you want to get out now?” he asks.
“I think I should before I turn into a prune.” I laugh.
Danny gets another towel ready, thank goodness for Max and his ridiculously over-dressed guest suite. It’s like a five-star hotel.
“Now, when you stand up, it’s really important that we keep this towel round your leg to stop all the water running into your cast.. So I’ll hold it okay?”
“Okay.” I’m amused by his efficiency.
He hands me the towel I will wrap around myself and wraps one arm around my back, under my arm and the other supports my leg and keeps the towel tightly wrapped around it. Just before he lifts me out of the bubbles, he says, “I’ll close my eyes.” He swiftly whips me out of the water and places me on the mat on my good foot, keeping his eyes closed while I cover myself.
“Okay,” I say, letting him know it’s safe. He blinks and then kneels beside me, lowering my leg and soaking up any drips. I keep my hand on his shoulder for support while he satisfies himself that my cast isn’t ruined. “Thanks,” I say. Danny picks me up in his arms without warning and I gasp. He takes me out into his room, sitting me on the bed. I look at him in shock.
He just shrugs his shoulders. “You can’t use crutches and keep a towel wrapped around you can you?” he says as he walks casually to his wardrobe and gets himself a fresh t-shirt to replace the one I’ve made soaking wet. Then, to my surprise, he goes into the bathroom to change it. I’m left confused and disappointed, why would he go in there to change? Men go bare chested all the time and I’ve just bared all to him. Mostly I feel sad that I didn’t get to see his whole tattoo. It's been teasing me under his sleeve for days. Every time I glimpse it, my insides do a backflip and I’m longing to touch it. Shit. No, I have to stop thinking like that, it’s too soon.
I sigh and fiddle with the edge of my towel until Danny comes out with my clothes, neatly folded.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed,” he says with a small smile. But he’s back to business again and the intimacy of the hair washing has all gone. I can't help but feel achingly disappointed.
He’s quiet as he drives me home. I don’t know what it means. For me, the day has been an unexpected step in a forwards direction and I know it has awoken feelings I was definitely trying to ignore. I’ve no idea what he’s feeling, but it seems to have had the opposite effect on him. He has closed down if anything. I sigh, looking out of the window as the town passes by. When we pull up behind the diner, he helps me out of the car.
“Thanks for taking me today,” I say trying to catch his eye, but he’s looking anywhere but at me. “And thanks for the bath.”
His eyes flit to mine and a tight, almost regretful smile appears. “Anytime,” he says quietly.
Chapter Twelve
Liv
Earth to Liv.
I’ve spent the last couple of weeks snatching moments with Danny. He’s so focused and I can’t quite work out what it is he’s focused on. Helping me, or rather, impressing me seems to be what was driving him. But I’m not sure anymore. He doesn’t call me or text, he works and works. He has kept a respectful distance, with the exception of a few baths. I see him each day but only because I go out of my way to be downstairs when he is around. Occasionally, I catch him looking at me, but more often, he catches me looking at him.
I don’t know what's happening anymore. We were so happy before, that looking back I think the bubble had to burst. It all happened so fast, we went from zero to forever in only a few intense weeks. I didn’t see the wheels coming off altogether, but it couldn’t keep going at the pace it was going. All I know is that when it happened, I was determined never to see or talk to him again. Things have obviously changed a bit since then, but now I don’t know what is happening. I still feel like I should be waiting for something, some show or proof of his love and commitment. But the more time goes by, the less certain I am of what that should be. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve pushed him too far.
He’s finishing early today, so I make sure I’m sitting where he can see me, hoping he would stop and have a drink with me. Instead he calls out goodbye and leaves before I can open my mouth. I sit for a while absorbing the disappointment, until Max comes to my rescue.
“Don’t look so sad,” he says and sits down. “He just needs a night off.”
“A night off from work, or me?”
“Both I think,” Max says gently.
I sigh. “We have hardly spoken for days. Why are we going backwards?”
Max shrugs, but I can tell he knows exactly why. This is part of the problem, not only is Danny slipping away from me but we are sharing a confidant. This has led to me not really discussing it with Max for ages, so I feel all at sea. “Just let him go out, blow off some steam.”
“Where is he going?”
“Some work party with Charlie to do some ‘networking’.” Max laughs. “Dullsville! I’m quite happy with him going in my place.”
I digest this information and deal with the disappointment it brings. He is starting to have a life here and it doesn’t include me.
“He needs some time out,” he continues, reading my reaction. “He hasn’t had a day off since he’s been here. It’s been a month, you know? Let him have this.”
I stare into the middle distance. “Is it too late?” I virtually whisper.