“I had you married with kids in my mind.”
“You’re the only girl for me. You must know that by now,” I say, stroking her face.
She grins. “I didn’t then…and how is this explaining why we have the same tattoo?”
“Okay!” I laugh, relieved to see she isn’t angry about it. “When I came back here after LA, it was hell. You wouldn’t talk to me, you were hurt and I couldn’t help you. I had to hide in the shadows every time you came downstairs. At times I felt like I’d lost you for good. Then one day I was upset and I just went for a walk and found myself there. It’s still the same, I was surprised. I’ve struggled with the memory of it since I’ve been gone because that feels like where it all ended, but once I sat there in the peace and quiet, it wasn’t like that. Like you said, it made me feel like you were by my side.”
I glance down at my tattoo. I chose to reflect her wording. Mine says,
‘I am always rooted here with you.”
“Max helped get me an appointment again. He could see I was in a bad place. When I took the photos I had in to your guy, he remembered how yours looked but he said it wouldn’t be exactly the same because he did it free hand. I didn’t care, I just wanted to have it on me and I changed the words because yours are right. I will always be rooted with you, wherever you are.
“I needed to do this, either as a reminder to never screw things up so badly again, or…if I could get you back…a reminder that I had to keep you at all costs.” I sigh. “I thought it would show you that we are just the same. All our crazy insecurities are bullshit, you know? We are supposed to be together and the only thing that has kept us from doing that is fear.”
She stares while she takes in everything I’ve said.
“I’m not afraid anymore,” I whisper.
After taking a deep breath, she smiles and runs her finger over the fresh ink. “Hurts there doesn’t it?” she says, stroking the words.
“Like a bitch.” I reply, moving in to kiss her again. “Apparently, you took it better than I did.” I laugh against her lips, as my hand trails down her neck, pushing her dress off her shoulders and lowering her once more to the bed.
“It’s the worst place.” She breathes louder as my kisses fall lower and lower.
“It was worth it for you,” I say against the skin of her hip.
She gasps as I pull her panties down.
“Have you really always felt that way?” she wonders aloud as I toss them on the floor.
I lift my hand to her mouth, spreading my fingers around her face and mashing my palm against her lips. “Liv, shut the fuck up and enjoy this.” I growl, only half joking. A sound escapes her, as I pull my hand away; part laugh, part moan, but all pleasure. It’s a sound that turns me on as much as she does and I waste no time moving my mouth between her legs.
She moans as my tongue works its way over her, turning circles and causing her to arch her back off the bed. I slide in my index finger at the same time as I land on her clit, which has the desired effect and she moans loudly, while her body shakes with pleasure. She is wet and ready, and my second and third fingers slide into her easily. She moans louder with my movements and I watch her, lost in the moment, her eyes closed.
I’ve thought long and hard about how I would play this if I got the opportunity. The last time we reunited it was mind-blowing, we each pulled out all the stops, but I don’t want this time to be a pleasure-giving contest. I want to be in it together, beginning to end. So, unbuttoning my pants and leaving them at my feet, I crawl above her. She watches me as I reach for her drawer.
“No need,” she says. “I’m still on the pill.”
I grin, changing directions and settling between her thighs instead. We kiss slowly as I slip into her, savouring every inch of me pushing my way into her warmth, so slowly, until I’m pressed in all the way. I hold still inside her and we focus on our kiss, the effect is amazing, I’m hypersensitive to every fractional movement as I hold off from moving inside her. Even our breathing creates a rhythm I’m aware of. When I do move, very slowly drawing out, we both moan loudly. The sensation is heightened. Pushing back in at an agonisingly slow pace feels just as amazing and I keep this up for a while, watching her as she watches me.
I’ve never felt such a connection to anyone. “I love you,” I whisper as I kiss her deeply again. Her eyes close at my words and I watch a single tear roll down her cheek. I know how she feels, but I don’t want her to cry, not now. I kiss her face again and again, holding her tight as I increase the pace slightly. We need this to wash it all away, we should have never been apart. I grind into her and she gasps, our warm breath mingles as we begin to move faster and faster. She is panting beneath me, but when her eyes open she isn’t sad, she wants it and she moves to meet me.
We stare into each other’s eyes and I feel like I’m close. I don’t know if she is, but I don’t want to break this connection we have. Her mouth opens and her breaths become sharper.
“I love you,” she gasps and then gives a low cry as I feel her convulse beneath me. It sends me over as her insides grip me.
“I love you,” I groan breathlessly as I come inside her. “Oh my God. I love you!” I gasp as the waves keep coming and I can’t stop this amazing feeling.
She pulls me into a deep kiss.
I stroke her brow as I lay beside her. We have barely moved for half an hour or more and we haven’t spoken. We have just stared and dealt with our own thoughts.
“Do you want to talk?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“No.” She kisses my nose. “But can you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Can you get my crutches? I dropped them in the lounge and I really need the loo!” She giggles, knowing she has shattered the moment.
I laugh, scooping her into my arms. She shrieks and protests, but I don’t care.
“I can walk, I just need my crutches!” She wriggles. “Danny you are not putting me on the toilet!” But it’s too late, we're there and she puts her face in her hands as I sit her down.
“This is so embarrassing.” She sulks as I walk away laughing. I go to the living room and pick up her crutches from where they fell.
“Here,” I say propping them against the sink. I drop a kiss on the top of her head.
“Danny! Please, I’m having a wee!”
“I think we’re past that aren’t we?” I chuckle as I head back into the bedroom.
I smile when she appears in the doorway, naked, but on crutches. “You look funny.” “Don’t laugh at me.” She scowls and sits beside me on the edge of the bed. She puts the crutches where she can reach them and gently swings her leg past me and onto the bed, settling against her pillows.
Silence descends for a second then I feel conscious. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but should I go?”
She frowns. “I’m not sure what the right way to take that is? But why on earth would I want you to go?”
“Because this is the first night you’ve had no cast and I wasn’t sure you’d want to share your bed with someone. What if I hurt you?”
She takes my hand and pulls me onto her. “I don’t care if you break it again, you’re not going anywhere.” She kisses me. “Unless…you want to leave?”
I pull back and shake my head. “See, this is our problem. Insecurity. All the damned time.” I climb onto the bed beside her. “I want to be here. I’m only leaving if you tell me to. Stop thinking the worst,” I say, allowing some frustration to escape in my tone. “Tomorrow we are going to straighten this all out, but for now, we are just going to do this…” I plant my lips on hers and reach out to turn off the lamp at the same time.