'I've had quite a few conversations with Tim, Jenny,' he said gently, 'because I wasn't going to appear where I wasn't wanted.'
'Wasn't wanted?'
He put down his coffee mug and I could see that his expression was wary.
'Look, Jenny, I'd had to involve you in a very messy business. I wasn't at all sure if you ever wanted to see or hear from me again. I sure as hell couldn't have blamed you. And that night at Pete's… it seemed to me that you couldn't wait to get out of the house when you discovered I was there.'
'I only left because I didn't want to give the D.A…'
'I know that now. Jenny, but that evening… I'd been through such hell…'
'Oh, Dan…' I took his hands in mine.
'And to see you, so tired… so… And thinking about DJ and Pete's two girls…' He rubbed at his hair, grimacing against the memory of that desperate time. 'Then you up and leave the States, goddamn near as soon as you'd got the all-clear from Pete. I was sure you'd never want to set eyes on me again. And Tim didn't give me a very warm welcome, either. Until he saw DJ…' Dan managed a little grin.
I was appalled by Tim's duplicity. 'Why, the brat. He didn't mention a thing. If I'd known you'd come…'
'I asked Tim not to tell you. DJ and I went back to Denver. Tim did say that he didn't think you held any bad feelings for me…'
'I didn't. I didn't…' His turn to hold hands for reassurance.
'And then the sweater came. Jenny, I've thought and thought. I've tried to convince myself that it's only gratitude, that it's because you are the antithesis of Noreen Sue and this is reboundsville. But Jenny, I can't get you out of my mind. What in hell should we do about it?'
He was appealing to me, his eyes, his warm hands, his whole body leaning towards me across the counter. And why in hell did it have to be in the way? For a long moment, I couldn't answer, couldn't do anything because of the upsurge of emotion, all joyful and mixed with the primitive response of his presence.
'I think we should talk about it…'
'Then you don't dislike me…'
' Whatever gave you any notion that I did?'
'That's my Jenny!'
'No, don't get any nearer. We have to be rational, sensible,
'Why?' and he was nibbling sexily at my left palm and wrist. 'I didn't fly three thousand miles to be sensible. I came because I wanted you, I wanted to see you and talk with you and be with you. And I'm selfish, I want DJ to have you, too. And DJ to have someone like Tim in the background, to help erase the darkness of these last two years.' He was pressing my fingers into his palm, one at a time, enumerating the various points. 'You've a profession, so have I. The two professions are not mutually exclusive. I've the house in Denver, you've one here. We could even manage to spend a half year in each country. And Tim says he'd love to learn to ski…'
I thought of the blond boy on the black pony and how I'd wondered if DJ would like one.
'I want you, Jenny, for myself and for DJ. You have what we both happen to stand in grave need of: integrity, understanding and compassion. Those qualities come over in your books, you know. And I can trust you. I think that's the prime consideration. I know I can trust you. You knew what even my best friends, Pete included, did not know: that I couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't take a life.'
'But I knew that. I was there!'
His grip tightened almost painfully. 'Jenny, even before Pete told when the murder was supposed to have happened, you told him I hadn't done it.'
'Didn't Pete believe you?' I was incredulous and yet…
Dan shook his head, smiling sadly. 'Pete's been in the business too long to trust anybody, any more. Only you and DJ believed in me. I need you. Jenny, because I can trust you, because I want DJ to realise that he can trust someone again. And if you think that trust, need, respect and…' here that impossible quirk of devilment gleamed in his eyes again, 'the most agreeable rapport in bed… aren't the basis for a lasting relationship… Jenny, couldn't we just try it on for size this summer? Tim was blunt that I should ask you… Couldn't we see if it wouldn't work on a more permanent basis…'
There was that in his attitude that told me he was ready right then to marry me. He rose, still holding my hands as he came round the corner. All discipline deserted me. I had only a few seconds more of rational thought because the moment he started to kiss me…
'Couldn't we, please, Jenny?'
'I rather think we'd better…'
I could tell myself later that it was the challenge of erasing the haunted look in DJ's eyes but, when Dan's lips covered mine, I knew that it was to remove, forever, the anxiety in Dan's.