“Dear Lord.” The interior was torn down to studs. Painting tarps covered the old marble floor. All the light fixtures were gone, leaving bare bulbs hanging from the ceiling. Sawhorses, a drawing table, and a pile of power tools cluttered up the place.
When Mum said she was taking it down to bare walls, she was not messing around.
At least this time the destruction was on purpose. We’d had to do a hasty rebuild a couple of years ago after that explosion we’d set off to try to kill Leander—a Soul Complement who’d gone to death, come back with a hankering for revenge, and tried to destroy the world.
Strange, how that story sounded familiar.
The clatter of dishes in the kitchen reminded me that I needed to get moving, and I did, even though it felt strange to leave Terric behind. I crossed the room, turned down the hall, and then up the stairs to my old room.
The door to every room was off its hinges, leaning against the wall opposite.
I strolled into my room. All my furniture was set to one side, boxes labeled and piled up neatly. A box marked CLOTHES was in the bedroom. I flicked open my pocketknife and slit the packing tape. Pulled out a monkeyless T-shirt, hoodie, underwear, jeans, and socks. Went into the bathroom, changed.
Sunny stood in the dry shower, her hands on her hips. Gonna give me a show?
“Don’t care if you watch. You aren’t the first ghost who’s haunted me.”
You haven’t missed anything, Eleanor said.
I chuckled at that.
Tell Davy I’m here, Sunny said.
“I think he knows.”
I don’t care. I want you to tell him I’m still here.
“What would that get you, Sunny? He’s already hurting over you being dead. Being undead? What do you think that’s going to do to him?”
He needs to know, she said. I need him to know.
“Maybe we don’t all get what we need,” I said. “I didn’t mean to kill you, Sunny, but that’s on me. My fault. And if I can, I’ll find a way for you to finish dying.”
You’re telling a ghost you want her more dead?
“Trust me,” I said, looking straight into her faded eyes, “there’re much better places to be than haunting my wreck of a life.”
She didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so I dressed, looked for shoes since mine were currently in a ditch somewhere between Umatilla and Irrigon.
Will you think about it? Sunny asked. About telling Davy?
Found a pair of sneakers, laced them up. “Yes,” I said. “Just. Give me some time.”
I ran my fingers through my hair again and headed downstairs. Hungry. I couldn’t shake the hunger.
Everyone was gathered in the main dining area, sitting on sawhorses or leaning against the worktable or walls.
“Shamus?” Mum said as I walked in. Hayden had his arm around her. I figured he’d warned her about what I looked like, but maybe he hadn’t warned her enough.
Her expression made me look away.
“You need a doctor,” she said.
“I need food.” I headed over to the tray of lemonade and finger food spread across a folding table and helped myself to a pile of food. I’d been careful to put on a hoodie to cover the bullet holes in my arms. All she could see were the cuts and bruises I sported on my hands and face. Well, that and the general deathness of me.
“I wasn’t asking you, I was telling you,” she said. “I’m going to call someone.”
“Don’t, please, Mum.”
But she was already walking out of the room.
Fantastic.
“You know better than to argue with your mom,” Hayden said.
“Pointless,” I said around a mouthful of club sandwich that should taste like heaven but was plain as ash. Food wasn’t what I was hungry for. I wanted life. I wanted death.
“I’m fine enough. Until we’re done with this.”
“With what?” Hayden asked.
Dash started in on the situation, telling Hayden we wanted him to guide me through the UnClosing I was going to throw at the walls in Terric’s head. The big man wasn’t having anything of it. I moved to the side of the room near the door and let Mr. Spade try to talk Hayden into our crazy scheme while I inhaled three sandwiches and a couple of tall glasses of ice-cold lemonade.
The food sat heavy in my gut but didn’t feed my hunger. If anything, it only made me hungrier.
Great.
What did you expect? Sunny asked. You know what that hunger wants. You know what that hunger is—death.
“Shut up,” I muttered. Maybe a little too loud.
Dash shut up and looked over at me.
Even though I wasn’t talking to him, I went with it. “I’m doing it,” I said.
“No, you aren’t,” Hayden said. “I’ve seen a lot of stupid in my years, but you’ve just Nobeled that prize, boy.”
“We need Eli dead,” I said. “For that, Terric and I need to be able to break magic. For us to do that with any kind of control, we have to unlock the walls in Terric’s head. Whoever Closed him isn’t going to just come on over here and do us a solid. Zay’s out of the picture, Victor’s dead—and so are half a dozen other Closers Eli made sure to off months ago. We don’t have options. We just have you, Hayden.”
“Don’t think you do,” he rumbled.
I glanced at Dash and Terric. Terric shook his head slightly. We’d known Hayden since we were young. Knew that when he dug in his heels, it would take a couple sticks of dynamite and a gallon of gasoline to budge him.
“Well, then I guess we just have me,” I said. “I’d like to give you a say in this, Hayden, but you either step in to help or step out of the way.”
“Is that how it is?” Hayden asked Terric. “Is that how you want it?”
“We were going to do it without you before Shame thought you might help,” he said. “So, yes, I think that’s how it is.”
“No,” Mum said, from where she stood in the shadows of the hall.
“Mum.” I shook my head. “It’s decided.”
She walked the rest of the way into the room, closing the distance between us. Her heart was beating a little hard. Not fear of me—fear for me.
I kept my hands open, ready to block if she was throwing magic, or a knife. Growing up with a Blood magic user as a mother kept a troublemaker on his toes.
But when she was near enough, she just placed her hand over my heart. Her gentle touch stilled me more effectively than any blade.
She stood there, looking into my eyes.
My heart was beating at about half the rate of any living person, and I knew my body was cold to the touch, even after the hot shower, even through my layer of clothes. I’d died—the real no-breathing parade. And it was clear coming back to life had left me changed. Had left too much of me dead.
I waited.
“Do you hear yourself?” she asked quietly. “Do you understand that you can’t undo the damage done to Terric because you aren’t the one who damaged him?”
“I watched him die, in my kitchen, at the hands of a madman I couldn’t stop,” I said so quietly only she would hear me. “I am the one who damaged him.”
“Terric’s alive. You see that, don’t you? Whatever happened to you—”
“I died too,” I said. “Not figuratively. Eli killed me.”
Ah, there was the shock, the sorrow. Her emotions ran blood deep, through the familial tie between us. I didn’t want to say more, but I couldn’t stop now. “Eli walked into my house and shot me full of bullets. Killed Terric too, sliced his neck, dragged him off to be tortured, and let someone Close him.”
I could feel the edges of her sorrow, could almost taste it on my tongue.