I got up and added more hot water from the pot. I stirred it around his body.
“And remember before the war when you came home one time wearing a hat? You stood on the doorstep, it was like you were embarrassed about having the hat on. And we just stared at you. Is it Michał or isn’t it? You quickly pulled it off, but father says, put it back on, let me take a look. Actually it looks good on you, it’s just you don’t look like yourself. It cost a lot? Mother says, you shouldn’t have spent so much on a hat, son, you could have bought a whole suit for that much money. It was a Sunday. Father wanted us to go take a walk through the village, maybe we’d bump into the priest. He’s always kind of asking after you. But we were young men, the two of us, what did we care about the priest, plus it was so hot, so I dragged you down to the river. The girls had grown into young ladies by then, and the river was filled to bursting. I stripped off my clothes and dove right in. You sat on the bank, in the shade of the bushes. Stefka Magiera swam up to you and tried to get you to come in, won’t you get undressed, Michał? It’s hot as anything, take your clothes off and join us. Her breasts looked like they’d been drinking the water in the river. You look nice in that hat. Will you be staying for long? The Magieras thought you’d marry her. But you wouldn’t have been happy. During the war she hooked up with this one guy that used to come buy flour, and she went off with him. Left her man and her baby. Michał! Michał! Come in and have a swim! Everyone was calling to you. In the end the guys actually got jealous. Leave him be! He must have the consumption. They’re not allowed to go swimming. Look, he went and bought himself a hat so he wouldn’t look like someone from the village! He looks like a tush behind a bush! One of them ran up from behind, snatched the hat off your head, and tossed it into the river. The whole mass of them jumped in after it. Someone scooped water up in it. Another one plopped it on his head and started swimming in it. I jumped in to fetch it back, but he threw it into the crowd. They pulled and tugged at it and grabbed it from each other. Stefka Magiera was so upset she started crying. You’re horrible! You’re horrible! she shouted. None of you’s ever going to have a hat like that! One guy dove down and got a rock from the river bottom. They put it in the hat so it would sink. In the end I managed to get it off them and I tossed it far downstream so I’d be the first to swim there and reach it. And I was. But Bolek Kuska jumped out onto the bank and got there before me. He grabbed the hat and ran even farther to where there was a shallow stretch. He went in and there, in the mud and sand and rocks, he started stomping the hat into the water. I beat him up so bad he couldn’t close his mouth for a month. He looked like he was smiling the whole time. I cut holes in his shirt and pants with my penknife, and I tossed his shoes into the river. Him and his brother Wicek came to our house afterwards with their old man to make a fuss, and I gave the old man a hiding as well. You, you didn’t do anything, you just watched them messing with your hat, then you got up and said, come on, Szymuś, let’s go. Leave them the hat, let them play.”
I got him up from the bathtub and dried him off. I didn’t have anything to put on him so for the moment I wrapped him in a sheet. Where I could I tied it, in other places I fastened it with safety pins. I managed to find three of them in the drawer of the sewing machine.
“Now I’m going to cut your hair and your beard.”
Turned out I still had the knack. I could cut hair and give a shave just like in the old days. Though there probably weren’t many people remembered I used to do it. Maybe just some of the older guys. But most of the old ones were already dead. Now the young people were the old ones. And after them the next young ones were already waiting to be old in their turn. They were younger and younger when their hair became speckled with gray, their foreheads got bare, and their faces started to sag and get furrows and pits. Though from day to day you couldn’t see old age passing across people. It was like old people had come to the village from somewhere else, while young folks had left and then come back when they were already old. It just sometimes seemed strange to me that they were the same people. But I guess they were.
I had to rest my backside against the table because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to stay in place. His hair was thick and strong, he had that from mother, like me. Because Antek and Stasiek got their hair from father, Stasiek was already almost completely bald, while Antek had bare patches that looked like holes in a thatched roof. I gave him a buzz cut, because his hair was crawling with lice. Then I washed his head.
“All right, now let’s eat.”
From the hospital I’d brought half a packet of tea, a little sugar, half a loaf of bread, a bit of cheese, and two pork chops. Jadzia the auxiliary had given it all to me as a parting gift. She came out into the hallway with me when I went to say goodbye.
“Here, take this.” She thrust a package into my hands. “You’re not going to go buying things at the store right away, but you’ll need to eat when you get home.”
I felt silly, because I’d not told her that much about home and what I did tell her mostly wasn’t truth, the way you talk to a woman, or a dead person. I was even going to tell her they’d probably have dinner waiting for me. I’d let them know I was coming home. But she knew I didn’t have anyone, so who could be waiting for me. Besides, she didn’t let me hesitate very long.
“Just take it. For your own good.” I wanted to kiss her hand, but she hid both of them behind her back. “You can’t go kissing an auxiliary’s hand, Mr. Szymek. You know what, come visit us sometime, if you’re here for the market or something. It was fun being around you. I had a good laugh. Because mostly people just die.”
I didn’t even tell her about Michał. All I said was that I have three brothers, that much I told her, and that all three of them are in the city. Besides, Antek and Stasiek she’d met when they came and visited a week or so after the accident. I’ve no idea how they found out, because I didn’t let them know. They were dressed up to the nines. Spanking new suits, shirts, ties. It actually made me feel good to have brothers like that. But after an hour I’d had enough of them, though we hadn’t seen each other for two years. They barely even asked if one leg or both had been run over, or how long I was going to be in there, then already they started arguing with me, trying to say it was my fault. Because instead of sowing rye and wheat I should have started an orchard, kept bees, or shifted to raising cattle like they’d kept telling me to. That way I wouldn’t have had to hurry before the rain and bring the crop in on a Sunday. Sunday’s for resting. Sitting at home with your wife and kids. Or if the weather’s good, going for a ride in the car, to the woods or down to the river. But I imagined I’d be forever young. This girl wasn’t right for me, that one wasn’t either, and there you have it. Luckily Jadzia came in and I introduced her to them, these are my brothers, Antek and Stasiek, this is Miss Jadzia the auxiliary.