“Małgosia.”
She slapped me in the face, pulled free of my drunken embrace, and ran off.
“Małgosia, don’t run away! I’d never do anything to hurt you! Don’t run away!” I shouted. I started after her. But she ran like a roe deer. And me, the ground swayed underneath me and began spinning around. My legs got all tangled up. I tried to follow her, but I was pulled in every direction at once. I bumped into something once and twice, then in the end the road threw me to one side. Goddammit!
“Małgosia! Stop! Wait! I won’t touch you anymore! I thought you wanted it too! Wait!” I had the feeling it wasn’t just me shouting, but the whole woods were calling after her, and the moon over the trees, and the night. “Małgosia!”
Her shadow was getting farther and farther away, growing more and more faint, till it disappeared completely. I stood still for a moment thinking the road might stop dancing in front of my eyes and I’d be able to see her again and call her, and then she’d have to stop. Or maybe she’d get tired from all that running, or suddenly be scared. The road was lit up like a ribbon in the moonlight, but it looked even emptier. I didn’t know if I should keep after her or not. I pushed on. You idiot, for a minute you thought she was Kaśka the shop assistant. With Kaśka you can talk any kind of nonsense you like and she’ll still tell you you’re smart. You’re a smart one, Szymuś. If I was half as smart as you I’d have had my own store long ago. I could sell anything I wanted. I wouldn’t sell bread or salt. They can go bake their own bread. Buy salt in town.
“Małgosia!” I started yelling through the woods again. “Don’t be afraid of me! I’m not drunk anymore!”
All of a sudden, to my right I heard something like a tree crying. I don’t know if it was an oak or a beech. I even reached out my hand, then I saw her pressed against the tree trunk.
“Oh, it’s you,” I said. “Come on, don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about. We’re not right for each other, that’s all. Let’s go, I’ll walk you home then head off back on my own.”
“I don’t want you to walk me home. I don’t want you to!” she said through her tears. “I thought that you at least, you were different. I thought you just seemed that way. I was close to trusting you.” She broke away from the tree and ran off again.
But this time I didn’t chase her. Run all you like, bitch, I’ve no intention of chasing you. They all want you to be different. How are you supposed to be different? Can a person be different from himself? He’s the way he is, and that’s how he has to be. I went back to the dance.
Now I really started to have a good time. Whoever showed up I bought them a drink, friends, strangers, enemies. Whether they wanted to drink or no, they had to. You won’t have a drink with Szymek? I wouldn’t even let the band go eat their supper, I brought them vodka and sandwiches and told them to keep playing. They played nothing but polkas and obereks, because that was what I wanted. Some folks were shouting that they were exhausted, they wanted a tango or a waltz. But I said no, polka, oberek, oberek, polka. And the band had to do what I said, here’s another five hundred for you! The emcee came up and said what was I doing taking charge here, was it my party? So I grabbed the ribbon off his chest and pinned it on myself. I’m the emcee now, you scram! If you don’t I’ll make such a ruckus there’ll be nothing to pick up afterwards. Count yourself lucky I’m feeling happy, because God forbid I’d be in a bad mood. Your whole dance would end up in the woods.
None of the girls would dance with me anymore, they all said they were tired and out of breath from all those polkas and obereks. Why was it all fast dances? Couldn’t they play something slow? Polkas and obereks are old hat. But I insisted they keep playing them. I could care less what you all think. Sit on your backsides, be wallflowers for all I care. I’ll give you old hat.
“Come on, Ignaś.” I pulled on Ignaś Magdziarz’s arm. He was drunk and sitting on a tree stump swaying, looking like he was about to fall off any minute. “We’ll show these bastards whether polkas and obereks are old hat. You be the girl and I’ll be the man. Come on. If you get bored we’ll switch, I’ll be the girl and you can lead. Just don’t step on my toes, and make sure you throw me up in the air at the right moment. Actually you can be two girls or two men if you like, makes no difference to me. One of them taller, one of them shorter, one fat the other thin, a red-haired one, a bald one, one of them blind, the other one lame, the hell with it all, Ignaś, I don’t even need to be there, just so long as you’ll party with me. I’ll marry the two of you if you want. You think I can’t? I can marry a guy to a guy, a woman to a woman, a dog with a bitch, an ox with a donkey, anyone I want, I can marry everyone to everyone else. If I want musicians I’ll marry the fiddler to the accordion player, the clarinetist to the trombonist, the drummer to his drums. You don’t believe me? Then drink up, cause you obviously haven’t had enough to drink, and you have to believe it, Ignaś, you have to. Even if you’ve never seen it, you have to believe it. If you’re drinking vodka and you don’t believe you’re drinking, it’s like you’re not actually drinking at all. People are hopping and jumping, but we need to party all the way around. The world turns around, life goes around, you need to drink around.”
Ignaś just sat there rocking and crying and repeating:
“I can’t, Szymuś, I can’t. I can’t be the girl or the man, not anymore. I have to puke. I’ve forgotten how to really party. Those were the days, Szymuś, those were the days. It was so fine back then.”
I gave up on him and started dancing on my own. People were shouting, stop pushing! He’s gone nuts! He’s drunk as a skunk! Me, I had my arms up in the air like the branches of an apple tree, like the wings of an eagle, and hey-ho! hey-ho! I was shoved and yanked one way and the other, they tried to force me off the dance platform. But once I gave a good wave of those wings of mine, I had a space around me that was big as the whole dance, and so deep you couldn’t see the bottom. All I could hear were squeals and shouts off to the side. I kept dancing.
I don’t even know when the clearing emptied and the band stopped playing. What did I care, I had a band inside me, the fiddle was fiddling away under my chin, the accordion swung between my sides, the drum beat in my belly, the trombone blared in my ear, and the clarinet whined from my heart. Dawn was dawning through the trees, dew had fallen from the sky to the earth, the birds had woken up and the air was trembling with birdsong, and I was still dancing, all on my own in the clearing, all on my own in the world, like on a battlefield after the battle. Everyone had gone except Ignaś Magdziarz, who was lying drunk next to his tree stump. Otherwise there was nothing but empty vodka bottles, broken crates, smashed glasses, plates, scraps of paper.
Afterwards, at work I got hauled over the coals by Maślanka for supposedly disgracing the district administration. That was probably why I got transferred from weddings to quotas soon after. But the firemen were even madder at me, they were collecting for a motor pump and the dance was meant to bring in the rest of the money. Because of me they came out at a loss, I frightened people away and they ended up with most of the vodka unsold and half a cartload of sandwiches. Though how could they have lost money if I spent my whole month’s salary there? On top of that, word went around I was getting married. One dance and I was already marrying. People! If that were the case I’d have been married a hundred times already. And this time things hadn’t even started before they were over. But say what you like, say I’m getting married. If I deny it they’ll just talk all the more.